I got home early enough to go for a run tonight. It felt SO good. I think I pushed myself further then I ever have. It felt wierd running in a big baggy sweatshirt, but it was all I had. There were a lot of people at the track tonight, several teams practicing soccer, and a few people playing basketball at the courts. About my second time around I heard this loud voice yell "Run faster you F***ing B*tch... I kick your a**". I conviced myself that they wern't talking to me, after all why would they, but I have to confess that my first reaction was that they were. And yet, there was something missing from my reaction. It took me a moment or two to figure out, I didn't feel angry. It took me a bit longer to figure out why. The thing that was missing was guilt, guilt AND self loathing! There was no answering voice in my head saying "Yeah! Run faster!" For once I KNEW in my heart that I was doing what was right and good for ME and I felt GOOD about that. The rest of my run was a blur. The lightness in my heart transfered to a lightness in my feet... I came hope head held 20 feet high... I'm GOOD for me! ;)