Things haven't been as structured as I would like, but it's still going well. Yesterday was a bad day. Not for diet and excercise, that I managed, but mentally. I have no idea what it is about my birthday that sends me into a tailspin every year. Actually - I usually start getting depressed on New Year's eve but this year the excitement of starting my new life as a fit healthy person seemed to hold that off. But yesterday the blues hit. I was cranky and depressed and I found fault with everything - even my birthday present. I fianlly hit the threadmill and did everything I could to drain the negative feelings out of myself with the run. It didn't work. Since my fiance was already asleep (at ONLY 9:00pm) I bundled him into bed and started reading the book I had bought for myself the night before. THAT finally seemed to work.

I'm feeling fine today. All those negative black feelings are gone. I wish I knew what caused them because I would do anything to be happy and cheerful like a normal person. Maybe it's because, on my birthday it's one of the few days I turn into a truely selfish person. I actually 'expect' to be treated special. So little things like my fiance' bringing his son over, and not arrainging so we could spend the night alone - and not being able to go do something special like dinner. And then getting a new cell phone for a present that, while it's really nice, I don't really want or need, but will use anyway because it was a present. Not getting phone calls from either of my parents was kind of a bummer. And not being able to spend my birthday with my kids really killed me. I really missed not waking up to shinny little face smiling and yelling, "Happy birthday Mommy!"

I guess the real problem is I'm spoiled. I have a man who treats me special EVERY SINGLE DINGLE day. So, to make my birthday stand out he would REALLY have to pull out all the stops. And truthfully, if I had to choose between someone who is kind, loving and patient 365 days a year, or someone who knew how to throw a mean party 1 day a year. I choose the first.

So, enough of my pitty party. I'll get over it. I aways do. The good news is I'm finally the age I've been telling people I am for about 9 months. For some reason last year I got it in my head I was already 36 and kept saying that I was. I guess one advantage to that I don't go through number shock on my birthday. The bad part is I keep having to remind myself I didn't just turn 37. Yes, my brain is wierd.

Anyway - on to fitness! After all I think that's what the focus of this board is supposed to be ;) I ran last night and bumped each interval up .1 It wasn't that hard to do so I think I'll do the same on Thursday when I run again. I haven't done legs yet today - but it's in the plan. This workout will be the trickiest becuase I'm very capable of pushing too hard and leaving myself unable to walk for a week. I suppose I should go get some breakfast now! and get up and around. I think I'm going to declare a mulligan and say that TODAY's my birthday and do everything I wanted to do yesterday (like take the day off from work)

Have a great one everyone!