Hellooooooo! I'm here, I'm alive, still kicking.

Let's see - last week I made it to the Dr. He looked me over and said 'it's a virus, you'll just have to wait to get over it.'

Well frankly I was sick of waiting! :) I picked up a new batch of viamins - Prenatal vitamins. Way back when I was a teenager I was sick and tired and was having reaccouring throat infections (my tonsils are out now or I probably would still be getting them.) Anyway, back then the dr prescribed me Prenatal vitamins. (back when you had to have a prescription for them) He assured my mom that he was mearly giving them to me because my immune system was so worn down that he felt I needed the extra punch of some heavy duty vits. And you know what? It worked. I got over the infections and my energy picked up. Years later I found out I had been exposed to the Epstine Bar virus and that was probably the time I was fighting it..

Anyway I picked up some vits, started taking them and I did start feeling better. Some days were better then others but overall I was on the upswing. AND I made it to the gym every day. No running mind you - but hit the weights and did some light cardio! yay!

Then Monday hit. I felt like someone had taken out my brain and stuffed my skull full of.. slime and then used it like a stess ball. *sniiiiffff* All day yesterday I layed in bed, aching from head to toe eyes and nose running like a faucet. I went to bed last night planning to spend today in bed as well. The alarm went off at 4:00, I opened my eyes and it was like a miricle! I could BREATH! I moved around a little and discovered, no headache, no body aches. A MILD case of the sniffles was all I had left.

and that's where I am today.

Good news - through all of this I haven't gained any weight.

What's the future? Well I'm going to tighten up my nutrition. frankly as tired as I've been I haven't had the energy to really disapline my nutrition but that's happening TODAY! I'll hit the gym the remaining two days of this week but it's going to be LIGHT work - no relaps for me. Still if I factor in the lack of excercise I should be able to drop 1.75 lbs by this time next week That's the goal.

Oh - and last week's results were good. I haven't lost any strength. I've reached all my 1/2 way strength goals! The only stats that are giving me fits are weight and body fat... the stuff that actually SHOWS on the outside.. bleh!

Anyway - I'm back. I'm back in action, back focused. I think part of my mental melies was my focusing on the 'big picture' Getting stressed about losing an enormous amount of weight by a certain amount of time. When I look at the 'big picture' (75 lbs). losing .2 here and .1 here just doesn't seem 'good enough'. especially when a week laiter I gain .5 back!

So I'm going back to focusing on one day at a time. Getting through today as best I can - tomorrow will take care of itself (to parphrase a really smart famous guy Matthew 6:34)

And I starting 'simple' again. Focusing on calories in vs calories out. Making sure I get SOME protien with every meal and trying to make my carbs 'good'. But not focusing on the ratios so much. So for the next week I'll work on tracking calories.

Here is the REALLY good news. My fiance has been offered a full time perminant postion. This means we can finally start looking into moving! Maybe by April I'll be able to NOT look forward to spending FOUR hours of my life every day riding to and from work!

Oh yeah! and as a surprise my fiance got me a Nano on Friday - I've been loading it up will all my favorite workout songs (and inspirational audio books) in preperation of starting back running! yay! AND my fiance has been reading a book that's been inspriring HIM and he's talking/thinking about getting back into running - I'm trying to convince him to do the Bay to Breakers with me - how fun will THAT be?

Lastly - thank you thank you thank you to EVERYONE who checked up on me! Seeing all those lovely messages from everyone has helped me keep my head above water. I'm going to try to set aside some time to do the same for all of you.