Whatever burst of energy I was feeling toward the end of last week... it's gone. Of course this could be a sugar hang over caused by my indulgent eating on Sunday. We'll see. I just know I was exhausted when I woke up today and I continue to feel tired now at 10:00am.

So, here's the good news. The weekend went well eating wise. I stayed on plan and had a nice free day. I even went for a run on Thursday as I had planned. I didn't get much excercise the rest of the weekend though (unless you call shoe shopping a workout). Still I felt it was positive progress.

I was down to 205.5 on Sunday (the starting weight for my new 12 week challenge) But all that junk has left me at 208.5 for the past two days. I feel like that will probably be dropping off without a problem.

My food was clean yesterday even though I had to scramble (no planning). Today, everything is planned and packed, so I'm ready. I actually did a leg workout yesterday! It was the hottest day so far this year yesterday and by the time I got home I was exhausted. I layed on the couch for a couple of hours and then forced myself to get up and go into the backyard about twilight. It wasn't easy but I did it! and I was so proud of myself afterwords. Tonight I need to run. I may take it a little slower then last week just because I found after two days of running my knees were aching. It doesn't make sense to injure myself so I'm going to slow down a little and make sure I do it right and I can keep on doing it.

I set some goals:

12 week goals:
185 lbs
Eat BFL style
Complete BFL workouts

First Mini-Challenge is 3 weeks:
200.5 lbs

First Micro-Challene is 1 week:
Drop 1.7 lbs (Hard to see on the scale)

This week my goal is to drop my soda down to 4 CANS a day (instead of 20 oz bottles)
The main reason I'm trying this is I can't continue to support my soda habit, it's just too expensive.

I will take my vitamins every day.

I will plan my meals every day.

I will eat clean and excercise everyday (except sunday which is a free day)

I will jornal every day.

I will increase my water consumption every day.


In recognition of these goals today I will:

Take my vitamins
Plan tomorrow's meals on the ferry tonight
Eat what on my plan and only what's on my plan.
Do my HIIT run tonight when I get home.
finish this jornal entry - AND write in my soul mapping journal on the ferry.
Drink 1/24oz bottle of water after each can of soda (total of 94 oz)

I will also:
Keep a positive attitude.
Visualize my goals.
Read my mind excercises.

I think that's it.


By the way - I'll be starting a journal of my soul mapping. If anyone cares to read about me going on and on about myself - I'll include a link here as soon as it's set up.

I think I might be noticing some changes already. This morning, it was as difficult as ever to get up and around. But, once I got around, I actually woke up and I didn't feel sluggish and groggy, even without applying my usual morning stimulant of Diet Pepsi. This is a huge plus for me and if it remains and wasn't just some one day fluke I'll certainly have to add it to my list of positive things about this lifestyle.

I've desided to bring back "The Good, The Bad and The Better" part of my journal. It adds a little structure that I enjoy.

Good -
I ate on plan. I did not give into temptation, although I didn't really feel any temptation. It was really hot when I got home so I desided to put off my workout. Normally this is a recipie for disaster for me, but last night I set the goal firmly in my mind and as soon as the tempature got to a more tollerable level I jumped on the treadmill and away I went! One thing about running on the treadmill - it reminds me of how sore my chest is! heh. I drank a ton of water yesterday and I think that has a lot to do with the 2.5 lb drop in 24 hours. that's right... 2.5lbs! I'm down to 206.5 today and number I was THRILLED to see when I stepped on the scale this morning, and believe me, I never thought I would be thrilled to see THAT number. But I guess I've got my 'good attitude' going because I'm seeing everything as a positive right now. I took all my vitamins yesterday. I planned my meals and packed my lunches for today so that I was all set for another 'on plan' day. That's an exciting feeling.

Bad -
There was nothing about the day that I would classify as "Bad" I like days like that.

Better -
I would like to cut down on the diet pepsi I'm drinking. I keep hearing bad things about cafien and artificial sweeteners and how they effect cravins. Plus - I hate being adicted to the stupid stuff. Yesterday I had four 20 oz bottles during the day as I had planned, but then went home and two that I hadn't planned. Overall it's still less then I was drinking before, but I would like to to better and stick to the four bottles today.

Today's Goals -
Drink no more the the four 20 oz bottle of soda that I have here at work.
Drink 64 oz of water or more
Eat on Plan:

B - Lemon Cottage Cheese Pancakes (Done)
B2 - FF Yogurt Mixed with Protien Powder (Done)
L1 - Spicy Orange Beef (Last Night's leftovers - and MAN was it fantastic) with rice and a salad
L2 - Homemade Breakfast Bar and String Cheese
D1 - Meal Replacement Shake
D2 - BBQ Chicken/Broccoli

Do a 20 minute HIIT Run

The reason I'm doing my run today is that my Mom is flying in from out of state tonight. I know I'm not going to want to take an hour out of our time to do a good leg workout so I'm going to do cardio instead. Then tomorrow, when I have the day off and a lot more time, I'll do legs.

This weekend is going to be a challenge. Family is over, and I have my Grandfather's 80th birthday party on Sunday. Luckily - thanks to the joy of BFL I have a free day for Sunday. Getting my workouts and meals in the other two days will be the real challenge but I'm committing right now to making it happen.

No Excuses

-S

Just a quick note to say that I made it through day two ON PLAN! Whoop!

I did my 20 minute cardio and was really happy with my stamina. I guess all those runs to catch the ferry have paid off. Dinner tonight was MOST EXCELLENT. With the meals I've been planning I don't even feel like I'm missing anything. I have tomorrow's meals all planned and my five, yes count them FIVE lunches are made and ready in the fridge. (I eat my first breakfast on the go at 6:15am while I'm driving to the Ferry and my Fifth meal on the ferry on the way home at 5:15PM – I work out as soon as I get home around 7:00PM and usually end up eating "Dinner" my final meal between 8:00 and 9:00PM)

So, I'm all ready to go!

Oh - and the meals for the day...

B - Lemon Pancakes (Made with cottage cheese - YUMMY!)
B2 - Homemade breakfast bar and string cheese
L - Leftover Whiskey chicken from last night w/ Brocolli
L2 - Meal Replacement Shake
PreDinner - Carrots/Celery and Peanut Butter
Dinner - Stir Fried Orange Beef w/Rice

One other positive note - I managed to keep my soda consumption down to 4 20oz bottles (Down from the 3-4 One Litre bottles) I drank about 64 oz of water - a BIG plus for me. Today I'm making myself drink a bottle of water between each bottle of soda.

Well, I did it. I went home and worked out! The best part is that I'm not as sore as I thought I would be. Of course it's early yet. I couldn't believe how creaky I felt while lifting. My elbows, wrists and shoulders all complained while I was working out and actually were giving me more trouble them my actual muscles. I took it a 'little' easy to make sure I didn't pull or strain anything, but still feel like I got an excellent workout - hit my 10's.

I also ate completely on plan. Planning my meals on the boat last night worked out perfectly, even if I did get a few odd looks from some of the other commuters. I have all my meals packed for the day, and I'm planning on going for a run tonight on the ol' treadmill. Believe it or not, I'm actually feeling a tiny little kurnel of something I've been long without...Hope.

Ahhh the fourth of July weekend. What did _I_ do? I sat inside with the computer and ate. Lovely isn't it? I didn't feel good all weekend, TToTM. Then we got hit with a major computer problem that made us think for at least 12 hours that we had lost all our data, including four years of pictures. In reality, I really don't think I ate a 'lot'. But I ate a lot of the wrong things.

So... Last night I took the time to plan and make my meals for the day. I packed a bag with some books, pens and a notepad so that I can journal during my hour long commute and I put my 'game face' on. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I hate hating myself. It's time to walk with my head up and shoulders back. It's time to take care of me.

I've got a long way to go. 80 lbs as of today, but every journey starts with a step. It's just up to me to take them.

So, the steps I'm taking today are this:

Breakfast - I started my day with a guava and coconut protien shake. It wasn't too bad. I should have put a little splenda in it is all. I'm feeling pretty good after eating it. I'm full - that's for sure.

2nd Breakfast - Banana dipped in chocolate protine powder

Lunch - Leftover hamburger patty from dinner & Salad

Afternoon Snack - Meal Replacement Shake

Dinner - TBD I brought cookbooks with me to work so I can pick something out either at lunch or on my way home.

Dessert - SAA

For excercise: I am GOING to go home and hit the weights. Yesterday I went out and looked at my weight bench - it's covered in cobwebs! This completely unacceptable. So, tonight it's an upper body workout.

Chest: Barbell Bench Press/Dumbell Flye
Back: Lat Pulldowns/Cable Rows
Shoulders: Doumbell Press/Upright Cable Rows
Biceops: Concentration Curls/Barbell Curls
Triceps: Triceps Pushdowns/Cable Extensions

Then - 10 'girl' pushups

Other then that. I plan to drink some water to get the fluids back in balance (my hands are SO swollen) and just do everything I can to keep my head in the game.

One little step at a time.

This week hasn't been so bad...

I've been eating a lot of greans (salad every day for lunch), trying to keep my portions in control and eliminate the snacking. of all those things I would say I was a success. I'm still feeling crappy physically. My clothes don't fit, I'm tired and just generally unhealthy feeling. I'm willing to give myself some time to get over that.

Mentally I'm struggling. I hate where I'm at, but at the same time finding myself having to really 'work' to be strong. I'm arguing with myself about food and having to fight myself to not negotiate 'comprimise'. I know I'm not feeling strong. One of the first cues is that I'm finding myself attracted to every ad I see for weight loss programs and even 'quick fixes'. Even though I know they don't work I still have to fight myself not to spend MORE money looking for that magic bullet.

There is no magic bullet.