Constant?

 Today my page from https://primalpotential.com/ (100 questions that will change your life) asked me "Where could I be in ninety days of consistent action?"

I had the following response

90 days of consistent action would (I believe) put me back to where I was at the start of the pandemic. I would have 90 days of practice, 90 days of plans, 90 days of mindfulness that would build my toolbox out so that I can continue my weight loss journey through to the end. It would give me the confidence to continue 'figuring it out' And see me to a point where my body starts to really feel different. I'll be about 25% down from my original weight and that is enough that my brain actually starts to notice that weight loss has happened.

then I asked ChatGTP what it thought - many of it's thought echoed my own :D but I'm going to copy them down here to 1) embed them further into my brain and 2) have them in a place I can refer to them quickly.

With constant action over the the next 90 days, I could make significant progress towards my health and fitness goals. I would experience:

1. Increased energy and vitality: Eating nutritious foods and engaging in regular exercise can help boost my energy levels and improve my overall sense of well-being.

2.  Improved my physical fitness:  With consistent exercise, I would see improvements in my strength, endurance, flexibility, and other markers of physical fitness.

3.  Weight loss: 90 days of healthy eating and regular exercise would lead to significant changes in my body composition.

4.  Better Sleep: A healthy lifestyle can improve the quality of my sleep, leaving me feeling more rested and rejuvenated each morning.

5.  Increased self-confidence:  As I make progress towards my goals and develop new habits, I will experience a boost in self-confidence and self-esteem.

Yeah - all that is pretty much what I said but saying the same thing in two different ways really seems to help all the parts of my brain get on the same page.

So - here's another list of what I can expect.

1. Physical changes: I will notice improvements in my overall health, including weightloss, increased muscle tone, improved digestion and better sleep.

2. Mental changes: I will feel more focused, motivated and energized.  I will have a reduction in stress, anxiety and depression.

3.  Behavioral changes: I will develop new habits and routines that that support my goals, such as daily exercise, healthy meal planning and regular self-care practices.

4. Social Changes: I will experience positive changes in my relationships with others, as I become more confident and self-assured.

5. Financial changes: I will save money by reducing expenses related to unhealthy habits, such as junk food and alcohol.

Overall, after ninety days of consistent action, I will feel more empowered, confident, and in control of my life.  I will feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in myself for making positive changes towards my goals. 

----

I wake up feeling more energized and motivated than ever before.  As I look in the mirror, I notice my body has become more toned and defined.  My clothes fit better and I feel more confident in my appearance.  I no longer have to worry about feeling out of breath when walking up stairs or doing everyday activities.  I am proud of the healthy choices I have been making and feel a sense of accomplishment each day.  My relationships have improved as I have more energy to spend quality time with loved ones.  I feel more focused at work and have a greater sense of clarity and purpose in my daily life.  I feel happier, healthier and ore fulfilled than ever before.

Fulfilled --- Oooo I like that word! 

 I stepped back into action yesterday... as they say in NOBS BIG ASS ACTION

I made a plan and I made up my mind to work on sticking to it - as well as honoring my hunger signals.  

I had all the 'good thoughts' I was going to use lined up - I had a power thought for the day I was well rested and had a plan for water.  I was ready...

Last night while starting to fall asleep I started to think about my day.  I had this overall feeling of... let down, frustration, being 'on edge'.  And it had been with me all day.  My primary thoughts were along the line of 'today was hard - I felt 'off' all day.  I'm happier when I'm not trying.  Losing weight isn't worth it.

Primary feeling - defeated.  I fell asleep feeling defeated

Today I'm trying to work through all that.  I know these are exactly the feeling that have had me struggling for YEARS now.  This is my next major milestone in my jorney.

So, what actually WAS uncomfortable?  

1) eating slowly and mindfully at breakfast.  It felt like when I let the dogs outside and I have to watch to make sure the cat doesn't try to follow them.  Nothing BAD is happening at that moment, but I'm watching to make sure it doesn't.  I think the main reason is uncomfortable is because eating mindlessly is a habit.  So, slowing it down and THINKING about something that's automatic feels weird.  It's like when you notice your breathing and you try to breath normal using your 'thinking' brain instead of your 'automatic' brain.  There's nothing actually going wrong -- but somehow it feels like it is.  

So, I've noticed - I've normalized what was going on in that moment.  Next best? Can I just be uncomfortable for that 5-6 minutes out of the day while I process a meal and eating slower becomes the forefront habit? - Yeah, that sounds doable (and remind myself during the process that nothing is going wrong!)

2) Urges after breakfast.  I started thinking about food - not specific food but any food.  I told my brain to be quiet.  That I had eaten and there was no reason for food right then.  It was uncomfortable for a moment or two but went away... until.. about 15 minute later I realized I was actually hungry.  I ate the few bites left of my breakfast and all the urges went away... So, it was only uncomfortable because I'm still learning to judge my true hunger and enough signals.  I know this is an area I need work - and it's perfectly normal to work through this with some trial and error.

3) Dinner time - This was a double whammy.  first, I waited too long to start dinner.  I had planned something that required some work and I was already hungry.  BUT I wanted to wait for dinner - it was going to be so good!  AND I do think I have a habit of snacking (nibbling) while cooking.  So, while I was cooking dinner it was urge city! A few times I gave in too - nibbled on some spam left out from breakfast and then I beat on myself a little - "You shouldn't have done that! You'll ruin dinner!" 

So, yeah it's normal to want food when you are hungry.  It's normal to EAT food when you are hungry.  Maybe better planned stacks and better food timing helps here? but it was never an emergency.

So, yes... I'm going to continue this work.  I'm going to keep listening and talking to that part of me that losing weight scares - the part of me that doesn't trust the other part of me to take care of us.  Trust will happen it will just take time and I'm going to keep reminding myself that everything is ok and it's going to continue to be ok. 

 Was listening to a MJ call over the weekend and she told a caller who had been 'stalled' for quite some time that 'you are only 2 bites away from weight loss'. That has been rattling around in my head for a few days. I find I want to bounce from eating how I am now to only eating 1/2 my meals and planning only 'best' foods and than back to doing nothing at all. I'm not yoyoing in 20 pound swings like before NoBS but I'm not losing weight either.

So, today while I was on the treadmill I started thinking about eating less. As I said, my process before was to either 'cook less' and/or 'eat half'. I knew I didn't want to take away one of my eggs in my standard breakfast because I had done that before and that wasn't enough and left me hungry... but I started to wonder. What if I actually tried leaving bites behind? ... My logical brain started to argue with me and said.. wellllll how must IS two bites? So I invented a new game that I tried with breakfast and it worked! even better than I expected!

Instead of 'bite behind' I 'skip bites' Twice while eating breakfast I would pick up a bite of food and than 'skip' putting it into my mouth -- I would set it to one side of my plate instead (I might change this to a small side plate or bowl.. we'll see). This let me leave those bites behind, but ALSO made me much much more mindful while I was eating. For 'set meals' like my eggs and or my sandwich that I've had over and over again it cuts out all the drama of 'should I stop now?' 'how about now?' AND some part of my brain thinks I ate all of my food.... cause I actually picked up my fork the 'normal' amount of times. It was weirdly satisfying. Can't wait to try it again for dinner and lunch!

I’ve tried several different ways (notice I didn’t say I tried everything) to do the habit tracker and none of them seemed to be working for me. I would get to the end of the month and would have to backfill the tracker from memory which usually meant I didn’t do it.

So, this month I’m trying a new experiment… I’m putting post it notes where I do the thing I want to track and hashing it when I do that thing….

Already more consistent with it than anything else I’ve tried!…

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12Kim Siberski and 11 others

 I've been in NoBS for almost four years. I FEEL amazing most of the time. I'm incredibly grateful for this program and the freedom it's given me to love myself.

But - I have not lost all my weight. In fact, as of today I'm 36 pounds down. (it was more.. but covid, regain.. blah blah blah). I weight 262 and I've been between 261 and 265 since August. Yeah.. sometimes Ol Shitty gets all wrapped up about that. But I don't let my brain lie to me for very long. I haven't done all the things.. heck I haven't even done the basic things all that much! But I do have that 'duel mind' that probably many of us who have lived through diet trauma of 'I never want to diet again-I would rather be fat than have to look at another salad EVER' and 'You need to restrict and cut and exercise 2 times a day!'

So, last week rather than whining about how I'm too fat for it to be this 'hard' to lose weight I asked myself 'what am I willing to try? What do I think is holding me back?' and after journaling on that for a bit I asked myself 'so, where are my wins to be found? What changes small and large would have the most impact on my weight loss? How do I make those changes easy?'

And I started list... as you might guess they pretty much looked like 'the four basics and level ups'. But in my own words. I sorted through the list I made and picked one of the things that I though would make a decent impact, but also be easy so I could get some reps in.

The first thing I decided to tackle was better choices for supplemental foods (My word for snacks) Now - here I'm going to tell you that even after four years I've struggled with the good/better/best list. Any time I started to make one I found all kinds of diet thinking came up and it really triggered my diet trauma - so I left it. I figured when I was ready... it would be there. So when asked myself to make better choices for supplemental foods I had to figure out what better meant FOR ME! I made a list of those things I thought were important in a snack and than wrote down anything and everything I could think of that I've ever eaten between meals (and even some things I hadn't) and scored them according to my criteria... I'm going to stress that last part.. MY CRITERIA!

What I realized was that some of the foods that I was judging myself harshly for were really pretty close to hitting all the things on my list and that felt good! But the weirdest thing it did... was it equalized all that food for me. For some reason, looking at that food with a 100% impartial scale made them all just ... food.

And that showed itself tonight. I was done with dinner and while walking through the kitchen saw the extra meatballs that I had made for snacking throughout the week. I had an urge to grab one and pop it in my mouth. My feast beast was telling me "It's ok... it's meat, protein.. it's good for you!" and suddenly I thought... but, it's equal to a cookie or that piece of chocolate N tried to give me earlier. An overeat is an overeat.. the food I overeat does not somehow make one overeat 'better' than another. You wouldn't feel good about eating a cookie right now, so why should a meatball get a pass?

I was stunned as those thoughts just POPPED into my head.

The focus on 'what small thing can I change' and 'all food matters' came together in a magical moment. Now, I can't wait to see what new thing my brain teaches me this week!

(this week's focus is drink less, and my goal life)

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24Jean Banning, Tana Warner and 22 others

 It's been a stressful week (started last week) and today has been an even more stressful day (RIF at work).

I was feeling restless and pent up and heard myself think "I really want chocolate"

Knowing it HAS been a rough time I told myself "Maybe I'll have a couple of pieces later when I'm hungry..."

I heard the voice say "I don't want to have a couple of pieces! I want to eat lots and lots and lots!"

I tried reason and to appeal to my future self vision (as has been working recently) "But if I eat that much I'll have a stomach ache!"

the reply "Good! cause it'll distract me from the other pain I'm feeling right now..."

Geez other self! Talk about dropping a bomb! I'm not promising not to each chocolate.. But I do promise to continue to stay mindful if/when I do!

 This is about fashion and a fashion icon but speaks so clearly about how our thoughts make all the difference in the world! How self esteem is a choice and how to live your life out loud. It’s something I’ve learned to do over the years but could never really articulate. But I think Dita has done so brilliantly here.

Dear Dita,

I adore your glamour style! However, I personally feel sort of overdressed in high heels, stockings & dress while around people in jeans. Everybody is staring at me & asking “What’s the occasion for that?” Have you ever been in that kind of situation? How to be brave enough to go on with glamour style every day? How do you deal with unwanted attention?

-Malina Kaa

Dear Malina,

In my 20+ years of dressing up in retro style, I’ve certainly had my fair share of stupid questions and criticisms, and I’ve even been flat-out made fun of, especially back in the early 90s before retro glamour became so popular and when my outfits were even more extravagant than they are now!

I recall a moment I had once that really cured me of feeling self-conscious. Two guys made fun of me in passing, who were both dressed in hideously ugly, stained and torn “University of Idiocy” T-shirts with mismatched shorts and some sort of offensive footwear.

I remember thinking, “Wait a minute, the fact that THESE guys think I look silly/crazy/unsexy is actually a compliment!”

I also began to realize that our appearance tells the world which tribe we belong to, or want to belong to. I have absolutely no desire to be a part of the tribe that those two guys belong to, you know? Imagine the hell of being asked out on a date with one of them? Heaven forbid I would fall in love with him and be forced to watch sports on TV while fetching a beer and a Manwich for one of those guys. That sounds like a special kind of hell to me.

I’ve said it time and time again. You can be a juicy, ripe peach and there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches, so you can either submit to someone’s criticism of you, or you can get on with the business of being your own amazing self who attracts other like-minded people that appreciate you.

I often think about my icons of beauty and style, and I am quite certain that they received their fair share of ridicule, but if they hadn’t dared to be different, there are countless fashion styles that probably would have never made it to the mainstream.

Can you imagine if Marlene Dietrich had merely accepted that hotels in Paris wouldn’t welcome her while she was wearing a man’s tuxedo? Can you imagine the things people might have said as Isabella Blow wafted down the street in a billowing cape and one of her many enormous hats? I’d met her a few times, always astonished by her inspiring style, and I can tell you that she certainly didn’t give a crap what anyone thought of her, and for me and many others, she is highly regarded as one of the most important and most fashionable women ever.

Nothing great comes without risk, and only the very mediocre are safe from being poked fun at. Personally, every time someone makes a snide comment, I feel I am proud to be part of the elite group of weirdos! If you want to read a fabulous and hilarious book about this eccentric “club,” check out Simon Doonan’s “Eccentric Glamour.”

I’ve had all sorts of comebacks to the various “vocal observations” of my attire and my look, but I try to say positive things like, “Why yes, the special occasion is life, thank you for noticing!”

Back in the 90s, before retro glamour was in fashion, I would get asked if I was in a movie and I would say, “Yes, I’m starring in this amazing story of my own life,” with a positive attitude and tone of voice whenever possible. Sometimes people don’t mean to be rude, they just noticed you and they don’t realize that what they say might make you feel uncomfortable.

I really think we just have to forgive them, because they just don’t know, and sometimes, they even fear what they don’t know, and we should have sympathy for them. And, I have to add, that if you are already feeling uncomfortable, it might not even be that they are being rude, but their words are magnified and mirroring what you are feeling, so maybe it’s more about finding ways to find your own comfort zone and working on self-confidence.

I hope this helps, carry on with being the fabulous glambassador that you are, and don’t let them get you down!

xx

Dita

(Source: Black Swan Dita)