Yesterday was the hardest workout I ever had to do. And not just because my legs were still screeming from the workout the day before! My first obstical was our plans to go into the city last night to visit my future sister-in-law. The old me would have just put off the workout to keep everyone happy, but the new me said "I need to run first". The best part of that was that no one minded! So, I mixed up a quick shake, gulped it down and went out for my run. Now, understand that my legs hurt so bad it's hard to get in and out of chairs, so while walking to the track I was doing my best to warm them up and get them loosened up. The I got to the track and my heart sank. Not only was my Soccer team there, but a second team AND a bevy of fans! It was a scrimage game. I wanted to turn and run home. The little voices in my head started in... "They'll laugh at you" one said "Don't subject them to your fat butt jiggling around the track, don't subject them to that" another said "You'll bother the players running behind the goals" said the next. I truely felt like crying right then and there as it had taken so much just to get that far! But, I didn't turn around. I stepped onto that track and began my workout. Every lap was harder then the next. I knew every 1/2 heard comment or murmer of laughter was about me. Then somehow, it got easier. Maybe it was one of the soccer players troting around the track with an older woman (probably his mother) struggling to keep up. Or the group of children that started following me, laughing, skipping, holding hands, and sometimes racing to catch up with me before falling back with the group. Maybe it was the smiles and nods of enchoragement I got from the few people I dared to make eye contact with. Or maybe it was just that feeling deep inside that I was doing something RIGHT. I was doing what I needed to do, despite the ache in my legs, despite what others might say, think or do... I was doing something for ME!



Well, except for having to be helped in and out of the car the rest of the night, it went really good. We went to one of my favorite itallian resteraunts and I bypassed the alfredo and ordered thier 'Healthy Chicken'. Then I picked all the chicken and veggies off the plate and left the pasta behind. Had some NUMMY grilled asparagus, though I had to shake off the cheese. Still, considering where I was, I ate well. I got grumbled at by my fiance and his sister for not eating much, but then I rattled off to them everything else I had eaten that day and they settled down a bit. I guess if you only eat three meals a day what I eat at a meal does look REALLY small... but in the context of 6 meals it's pretty resonable. At least _I_ think it is :) I'm still struggling with what to do tonight. My company has invited me to thier luxury box at the A's game. I really don't like baseball, so the lure they are using is 'open bar and free food'. The only way I could enjoy that is to take a free day, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that mentally.