I was in my car earlier when I had a thought - it started this way.



I started feeling pretty worn out this afternoon and I was pumping myself up to do what needs to be done after I get home. I figured, bare minimum for the night would be excecercise, dinner and packing my lunch for the next day. Then, of course, that lazy little girl that lives inside of me started whispering "You don't HAVE to pack your lunch" Amazingly, this warm mothering voice in my head smothered out the witch with the thought "Yes you do, because you need to pack lunch for N____ too". Suddenly I had hit on something!



You see, it's much too easy for me to find reasons to not do things for myself. I'll often pass on new clothes or some treat for myself, that I would NEVER skip for someone else that I loved. What does that mean that I love others more then myself? Probably.



I hear those of you out there screaming... "Take care of YOU first - what are you thinking?" But then I realized, why not use this to my advantage rather then fight it, and try to change part of my ingrained nature?



Why DO they tell us that we should never lose weight for someone else? No I'm not talking about my fiance' telling me "lose weight or I'm leaving". THAT is wrong on SO many levels. But why not attach some emotional baggage to weightloss that goes beyond my selfish reasons that OBVIOUSLY arn't working.



When it comes down to sticking to my plan, or eating what everyone else is eating so they feel comfortable - which do you think _I_ choose? 9 times out of 10 I'll cave.



SO, my thought is this. Yes, I'm doing this for myself. Because I want to be thin, and healthy, and strong. But I'm doing it for my fiance' who deserves to have a fiance' who's thin, healthy and strong, and for the example I can set for him. I'm also doing it for my children - who deserve a mother who's thin healthy and strong. For my 16 year old who needs a healthy example of losing weight, for my 10 year old (who's shaped exactly like me) who needs to know that she isn't doomed to obesety, for my son who deserves to have a MILF... ok, maybe that's taking it a bit too far, but you get the idea.



I think, that for me to succeed it needs to be about more then me. Maybe that's been the missing key all along.



We'll see