I still don't have my race report done -- sorry.

I've had some other crap going on - trying to get my head on straight - I go through this now and then and I try not to drag too much of it out on my blog because, well people would get tired of it, I'm sure.

But, here's where I'm at right now.

If you didn't know already, I consider myself about 80 lbs overweight.

I've battled weight pretty much my entire adult life, and, at 42 I'm tired of it.  I told myself at the beginning of this year, that it was the last year.  I would make one last push to hit my goal weight and if I couldn't do it in 2011, I would never go on another 'diet' again.

So, I did what any computer geek does, I made a spread sheet - charted what my weight loss would look like to reach that goal and went to it.  Only, I fell behind.  I had some bad days, I hit a plateau and, started to do things to try to 'make up'.  I started being stupid.  I started trying to restrict my eating, going on a 'diet'.  Of course, the more I restricted, the bigger my slips got and soon I was back on horrible roller coaster of success and failure where I felt like crap, even when I was being 'good'.

Instead of this journey being a hike over mountains and through valley's as it should be, I had tried to turn it into a sprint...

There really isn't a 'good' way to sprint through a 80 lb weight loss...

And so, I'm done.  I'm done trying to control what I can't control - the scale.  And I'm back to controlling what I can - the quality of food that goes into my pie hole.  Luckily, I don't have any health issues to worry about (yet) so there's no urgency from that end.  But I do know I need to get my head on right about food.  I need to spend less time worrying about what the scale says and more time worrying about how I feel.  I need to get my head on straight and figure out how to have a healthy relationship with food.

So -- that's where I'm at.

Luckily, I happen to believe that Paleo eating is healthy.  And I know from experience that I feel good (great even) when I'm following a Paleo/Primal lifestyle.  So, it's back to unweighed, unmeasured paleo for me.

And the scale can kiss my *SS!