Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Well guys (and girls) I FINALLY feel as if I've got my groove back. I would have to say the #1 way for me to know I'm doing it all 'right'. I ache from head to toe! and today - I do! Not a BAD, OMG I can't get out of my chair ache, but a oooooh I worked that muscle; ache. I LOVE IT. And today, I realized that I'm finally feeling that one emotion that's the most motivating to me - hope. I remembered what it felt like to be happy in my own skin. To walk out of the house and think to myself 'D*** I look Good!' heh. To want to take off my coat because someone is going to say... Look at those arms! And I know that I'm only about 5 weeks from starting to feel that way.

Yesterday was a good day.

Good -

I ate well, stayed under 1800 calories and kept it really close to my ratios. I hit the backyard as soon as I got home and got in a shoulder workout. A GOOD one too. I skipped calves because I had just done legs yesterday and I was going to run 2 miles so I figured why burn out my legs. It worked well for me and my calves are sore today anyway. I streched as I had planned and did abs as well. OH! and I ran 2 miles in less then 25 minutes! It's been my goal to run my 5K at a 12 min/mile pace and if I can keep the training level I've been at - I'll make it!

Bad -

I only drank 48 oz of water instead of the 64 I had planned. Other then that - the day was perfect.

Better -

I really want to hit that 64oz of water. I've already started and have 16oz down already. I've brought my lunch and feel as if I'm getting a MUCH better quality of food in today. I started my day with cream of wheat mixed with protien powder rather then a Big 100 MR Bar, and mentally I feel much better about that. Mentally - I couldn't ask for a better mood then I'm in right now. I hope to hang on to it as long as I possibly can.

Still pushing to hit 192 by Saturday - I'll be taking pictures (for my last 12 week challenge) and posting them tomorrow since I have the day off.

Happy Hump Day all!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Thanks to those who encouraged me. I realize 14 lbs is a good start. It's just hard for me to celebrate 14 lbs when I still have 64 left to lose!

As for yesterday's 'Bad News'. I'm really not taking it hard. Yeah, they might be telling the truth but I'm not going to set my heart on it. If they call back, then GREAT if not... well I won't be dissapointed because I've already resigned myself to the possiblity. I'm not going to funk about it :) If it was meant to be - it will happen. If not... well I haven't lost anything.

And the update for yesterday:

I got my workout in. I got home SO TIRED that I just wanted to curl up and fall asleep. (I didn't sleep well all weekend averaging about 5 hours each night - the weekend is usually 'catch up time' for me) BUT I knew that if I laid down I would NEVER get my workout in. So I didn't. I changed my clothes, and went outside and did legs. Extensions, squats, deadlifts and curls. The best part is that I'm still walking today. A little pain but manable.

Food was also positive - OK so I didn't reach 1800 calories, but I wasn't hungry. I think my body was still processing all the food I ate over the weekend. The totals for the day: Cal 1200, F/C/P=20/40/33% Not the exact balance I was looking for, but it's a start. Our cupboard's a little bare so making dinner was a challenge last night.

I can say that my head is in the game. I'm totally focused on what Im doing and what I need to do.


I didn't stretch like I wanted. No real reason. I got started doing other things and didn't think of it again. I'll blame it on fatigue.

My water intake wasn't what I wanted either. I got in 32 oz instead of the planned 64.


I want to tighten up the ol' nutrition. That will mean planning more and doing some shopping. The sourdough bread I've been having on my sandwiches has to go. Maybe I'll start getting whole wheat wraps instead. I also want to do better on my water intake. I know I'll feel better overall for it. I want to keep this attitude I've found. The 'just do it' mentality is working well for me.

The Plan
Today's plan is to get in ALL 1800 Calories for the day. Of course, I'm not going to 'force' myself to eat if I'm not hungry. I have a training run for my 5K and I'm going to work on shoulders abs and calves. I will drink 64oz of water.

I think that's it! :)

Monday, March 28, 2005

Well – the first twelve weeks of the year have come and gone. My first reaction; disappointment. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I expected more from myself. The actual numbers are not that bad.

Weight: 208.5 -> 194 Loss 14.5lbs
Body Fat%: 50.4 -> 46.7%

When you do the calculations I discovered something interesting
208.5 @ 50.4 = Fat of 105.08 LM of 103.42
194 @ 46.7 = Fat of 90.6 and LM of 103.4

So all 14 lbs was Fat – I was surprised and really pleased at that. What this means to me is that I really have been doing the nutrition rather well – There’s not doubt in my mind that I’m capable of putting on muscle. I did it during my ‘successful’ challenge and it seems that this process may have had a lot to do with my success at the time. Now that I seem to have some control and perspective on the food issues I’m going to have to focus on getting consistent with the workouts.

The rest of the numbers also look good.

Chest (this is the measurement directly under my armpits): 39.5 -> 39.25
Bust: 46.5 -> 44 –2.5
Ribs: 37.5 -> 37.5 Even
Waist: 39 -> 37 –2
Hips: 49.25 -> 48 –1.27
Butt: 49 -> 44.5 – 4.5
This measurement is rather confusing – It’s possible my starting number was wrong – but who knows maybe I really did dump a lot of weight off the ol’ butt
Thigh 27.5 -> 26 –1.5 (off each thigh)
Calf: 15.5 -> 15.25 -.25 (off each)
Upper Arm: 15.25 -> 14.75 -.5 (relaxed)
Bicep: 12.5 -> 11.5 –1 (relaxed – and I see some definition in the arms that wasn’t there before)
Forearm: 10.75 -> 10.5 -.25
Wrist: 6 -> 6
Ankle: 8.75 -> 8.75

Now – reduction in things like my forearm measurement might be worrying if not for the fact that my lean mass hasn’t gone down. It just goes to prove that fat really does ‘grow’ all over!

So, how am I feeling now? I’m happy with the measurements I’m glad to see them going down and I’ve felt it; in my clothes, in the way I move, etc. I’m happy to have lost 14 pounds. But most of all: I’m glad to have finished! I spent all last year trying to get back into the rhythm of things. I can’t tell you how many challenges I ‘started’. To have finished one is a BIG step in the right direction. I plan to continue in that direction over the next 12 weeks and the next and the next. I will be lean, I WILL be healthy, I WILL be proud of myself and my body.
I think I just got the 'brush-off'

I was supposed to have my second audition tomorrow night. Today when I emailed to confirm I got a message that they changed thier mind about tonight because the drummer needed to work on his parts before thier gig on the 8th and one of the band members was out of town. They ended it with 'I will keep you posted'. *sigh* that was a 'don't call us we'll call you' if I ever heard one! Ah well it was a fun dream while it lasted :)
I started this challenge with a double free day. I know it sounds wierd, but I needed it. It's now monday and I'm ready and raring to go! The plans for this challenge are rather simple. Lose weight! heh. I've desided that it's time to get serious about the weight lifting portion of my workouts. PLUS I need to focus on my running workouts so that I'm ready for my 5K. So - 6 workouts a week are in the plans for me.

Food wise. I want to track my intake a bit closer. I've been inspired by Michale. I'm going to keep my fitday entries up to date so I know my caloric intake. I'm focusing on balancing my Carbs/Protine/Fat. Those ratios tend to work for me. According to Fitday my BMR is 1585 and my average daily calories Burned in a day are 2893 if you count background activities and digestion. Another calculator says 2847 so I'm feeling pretty confident about those numbers (at the moment - ask me again later heh) So - to lose 2 lbs per week I need to eat (about) 1850 calories per day or a little over 600 per meal. We'll see how that number works out as the weeks progress.

I also want to focus on getting my water intake up. I know I don't drink nearly enough water and I want to change that. For this week I'm going to set a goal of getting 64oz of water in each day.

I would love to be 192 by the end of the week. It might be a challenge after the two free days I had :) but we'll see.

Plan for today?

Well it's 3:15 and I've had 900+ calories. Everything I've eaten so far has been duely recoreded into fitday. I want to hit legs tonight and do some stretching. I did a bunch of stretching last week and felt SO GOOD after I want to keep that up. I've not had ANY water yet, so I guess I better get started!

I'm sure I'll be brain dumping more later.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Final weigh in is tomorrow! I've kept on track this month - but I'm not seeing 'steller' results. Still some is better then nothing!

It's late I'm tired - I'll wrap up this challenge with more substance tomorrow. Expect pics!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

weather has taken a turn for the sunny once again. Unfortunatly work is really busy and I can't take the time to sneek away and enjoy it. I'm hoping to get out of here while the sun is still shinning.

We went out last night - I was a good girl and did not have any appitizers and no alcohol! yay me.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Kind of funny that most people who see me day after day don't know so many little thing about me like: I'm a complete gear head - I worked on a drove a '71 Camaro for several years. I miss that car.

I'm actually a closet 'cowgirl'. I lived in Wyoming for 10 years, owned a horse that I bought wild and tamed to ride. I'm a certified markswoman with a .22 rifle. Funny how things like that don't come up in the normal day to day life of a IT Project Manager - heh.

I found some interesting info last night. I've been wondering for a while what percentage of my body weight I was lifting when I did pushups. Mainly so I would know how much weight I was moving. Last night I found a website that explained it so simply that I nearly kicked myself for not thinking about it! Basically you do this: Grab a scale and place it on a hard floor in an area where you would have enough room to do a pushup. Then get in the pushup position with your hands on the scale. And there you have it! So I did it and found out that when I do pushups I'm moving anywhere from 130 to 140 lbs (the weight goes up as I lower myself toward the ground) Knowing that - I'm pretty pleased that I did 2 set of five pushups last night. I don't feel quite the wimp I used to :)

Lastly I wondered if anyone had heard about the new 'game' that's come out. It's for game consoles (x-box and PS2) and it sounds so cool that I have it next in line in my gamefly account (Gamefly is like Netflix for games - saves me TONS of money buying games that no one likes, or that my son finishes in one 'all nighter' session. Anyway (sorry about the tangent) the game is called Yourself Fitness and while it might be a little 'under' really hardcore fitness geeks it does look like it would be a GREAT way to introduce people to fitness (like kids for one) There's a couple of reviews online Console Game World and Game Public that explain it a lot better then I could. I'll let you know how I like it when I get it at home (any day now)

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

"Raining Cats and Dogs" would be an understatement today. I ended up having to work from home today because the roads were so bad I was flooded in! I called in and told them I couldn't make it on account of rain. And just to prove how bad the weather's been - they didn't argue with me or even laugh for that matter.

In fitness news - everything is still going along swimmingly. Ever since TToTM hit I've been spending every day trying to battle my unending appitite. I felt like I was starving all the time! And I don't mean "Oh I have a craving let's say I'm hungry" kind of feeling, but a "Stomach's caving in on itself, growing so loud the neighbors can hear it" hungry. I just kept stuffing clean food into my mouth and hoped I wasn't doing too much damage. And I haven't - weight has stayed steady through it all. Today I finally got relief! Normal hunger when I SHOULD feel hungry is back! Usually boughts like these are followed by a nice long stretch of losses so here's hoping the next week's a good one. I've only got three more days left in this challenge after all!

Speeking of the end of my challenge - I'm setting up my next one and filling out some goals already!

Oh and I ran 1.75 miles today AND dropped my time down to less then 13 minutes per mile (Including my warm-up) I'm pretty proud of that. Running a 12 minute mile is starting to get easier and I'm THRILLED at that. So far my feet are holding up - I'm going to keep an eye on things though and keep STRETCHING!

Monday, March 21, 2005

Wow what a weekend. The kids came, it rained, we went to the car show anyway.

Friday night I brought home pizza. I didn't have ANY! Instead I made myself a 'healthy' pizza - chicken, olive oil and fat free cheese on a pita. Saturday we went to the car show and there was CRAP food everywhere! Ice Cream, funnel cakes, hot dogs... you name it. Luckily there were a few 'other' selections out there, and I made it through the day on a skewered teriyaki chicken breast. THEN when we got home I didn't feel like cooking and the rest of the family made themselves corn dogs. Oh the SMELL! I had a 'clean' meal instead. I kept it together through Sunday as well, and for my reward, my fiancé made me "No Pudge" brownies and gave me one HOT as a surprise. Oh MAN was it good. He said he did it because he was so proud of me for resisting temptation all weekend long. The best part was, except for the corn dogs it wasn't that hard. I'm in a good place right now, and I have to say that my book, "The Thin Commandments" has had a LOT to do with it.

I made up my two running workouts and I'm right on track for the first week of my 5K training. Tonight is a 'rest' day from running so I'll do a leg workout. Food is on track again today and my weight is being rather cooperative. This Saturday is the end of the first 12 week challenge for the year, and while the results aren’t stellar, I'm TRILLED to have completed it. I'm Really looking forward to the changes that will come over the NEXT 12 weeks!

Happy Monday (and I mean that in all facetiousness)

Friday, March 18, 2005

Nutrition continues to be great. Yesterday went fine (except for burning the roof of my mouth at dinner) I did't work out last night, but I had a good reason, no, not an excuse, a reason ;)

I'll make up my run before the end of the weekend.

To tell you the truth I can't belive how strong I feel right now. No cravings or anything - not really sure HOW I'm doing it but hey, I'm not going to complain.

Otherwise, not much to update. The kids will be here over the weekend. We're planning to go to a classic car show but it's also supposed to rain all weekend long *sigh*. We'll see.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Yesterday was another 'green' day. I ate clean. I needed a few extra calories to make up for eating so little on Tuesday, but I made everything that went into my body clean. No celebetory chocolate for me! :)

I hit shoulders, bis and tris last night. I think I"m ready add a little weight on the arms. I tell you what, the thought of being on stage is a big motivator. I kept thinking about how I would like to look up there, with Linda Hamilton arms... yeah.

I still can't belive the 'rush' of progress I've made this month. My clothes are really starting to hang on me. After two months of fighting tooth and nail, this is a huge boost!

Well back to work for me. Hope everyone has a great Saint Patty's day.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

After an aganizing day of waiting - I finally got the call. I have a second audition!
Well - for any interested last night went ok. The first song I had planned on singing - it turned out they played one song and I had learned another both with the same title. SO I couldn't do that one. The second song I had planned on doing, the girl who auditioned right before me had done it. Soooo I ended up doing my third choice. I actually did 3 songs and did alright. My allergies (which have worried me ever since I got the call) acted up through the second song, but I recovered and pulled off the third ok. The best part was it was supposed to be a 20 minute audition and they asked me to stay longer. I ended up hanging out for an hour! When I left every person there told me "*leader of the band* will be calling you tomorrow" even he said he would be calling me today, and the way I understood it only the people being called for a second audition would be called back. So there's still hope. No matter what, I had a TON of fun. It was well worth the trip. I'll let you know IF I get the call. I'm happy either way.

Food wise, things were good. I stayed on plan despite everything. I relived some stress through a little retail therapy at lunch and picked up a pair of size 14 hip hugger jeans. I have to say, I'm QUITE pleased with the way they look. In fact, I feel so snazzy in them that I want to wear them ALL the time. But, I'll try to restrain myself. *grin*

Even after all the stress of the day, I still managed the first run of my 5K training. 1.5 miles and I can almost maintain a 12 minute mile the entire time. That REALLY pumped me up.

Everything looks good for today - Have a great one!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Food was on target, and I did quads and Hammies as planned. 45 lunges each leg has my glutes begging for mercy...

I commited over the phone this afternoon that I would be at the audition. I plan to go and have fun! I get to sing with a LIVE BAND. Why waste this oppertunty worrying about if I get the job or not. :) At least that's what I'm telling myself. Truth be told - I could NOT get the job just because I'm in such horrible shape (They are looking for a 'face' after all) And if that turns out to be the case - Well I on the right path already and I plan to stick to it, and if I don't get this job it will be all the more motivation to stay on it!
I spent most of the weekend in bed. Just so tired that anytime I would sit still I was dozing off. I was in a terrible mood anytime I wasn't asleep. My family gave me a wide berth. Heh. Feeling better today. I'm dosing with Vit C and Ecinatia. I'm not sure if I've got a sinus infection or just alergies, but either way I figure the added boost to my immunity system can't hurt. I've been super paranoid that this congestion will move from my head to my chest, but so far so good. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can just stay healthy until tomorrow! heh. I had a little trouble hitting high notes yesterday, but once I got good and warmed up I was doing ok.

Thank you to everyone wishing me luck. I'm still REALLY nervous. And there's something else - It's hard to explain - I've actually thought about backing out. it's like this - I've spent most of my life dreaming about something. Then the opportunity presents itself and MY brain starts thinking - MAN do I really want to give up the dream? Because now there's the chance I could be told "NO" and once that happens - I can't dream about it anymore. It's a big risk - but one I've desided that I have to take. *deep breath*

Now - diet wise things went well over the weekend. But, as I said, I slept most of the time so I didn't get any excercise. I've got to do better this week though because I start training for my 5K (the 5K I've already paid for) Legs tonight, but not too heavy.

Lastly - there was one other thing I wanted to note. I weigh (almost) every day. I know, I know I hear you all groaning :) But, that's what works for me. What I do with this is average my weight over 7 days. I took a good look at those numbers for this year, and I REALLY like what I'm seeking.

week 1 - 206.4
week 2 - 205.3 (-1.1)
week 4 - 204.5 (-.8)
week 5 - 203.6 (-.9)
week 6 - 203.7 (+.1)
week 7 - 201 (-2.7)
week 9 - 200.6 (-.4)
week 10 - 198.4 (-2.2)
So far in week 11
197.5 (-.9)

I have to say, I'm pretty happy with those numbers - a steady trend downward is nothing to complain about!

So I think that's about enough out of me.

Friday, March 11, 2005

I noted something interesting recently. It may help me lend some perspective to my own body's behavior.

I started the year at 208.5 lbs - by Feb 28th I was at 202 - a 6.5 lb loss in two months! That's less then 1 lb a week. Then March rolled around. I made some adjustments - MINOR adjustments (certainly not enough to justify what's happening) and in 11 days I've gone from 202 to 197lbs. Yes - that's right 5 lbs in two weeks - that's almost more then I lost in the entire preceding 8 weeks!

Did I stumble across some secret ingredient? Did I find some magic pill? well - kind of... SPRING! Spring arrived here in northern California at the beginning of march. Temperatures have been steadily rising (yesterday it was 87 at lunch) and the weather has been lovely. Now you might be thinking that the warm weather has gotten me out more - I'm moving around more, but this is not the case. I still sit in an office all day. Now - I might put this off as purely coincidence except for one thing.

Two years ago, I was going like gang busters. 18 weeks of steady 1.75 lbs a week loss and it October it just... Stopped. October - when the temperatures dropped and winter started to settle in. While being hampered in losing weight for five months out of the year isn't a pleasant perspective it does arm me with knowledge that I can use for my benefit. IF this 'hibernation' thing is real and my body really does fight me for every lb during the winter months then -one- it means I won't be driving myself mad trying to figure out 'what am I doing wrong?' it also explains why the 'holidays' always seem to be DOUBLY devastating for me - weight wise-.

It's at least something to think about - has anyone else found something similar? If it IS a real phenomenon then maybe those 5 months the focus will be to maintain my weight and/or go into a 'bulking' phase.

Otherwise - things are going really good - I jumped on the treadmill and ran for two miles. I did the first mile in 12 minutes - the pace I would eventually like to do my 5K in. Yes I know I'm slow - but heck I have short legs - at least that's what I keep telling myself - heh.

Have a GREAT weekend everyone!
By the Way

Can I ask you all for pleasant thoughts for the next five days. Yesterday I got my confirmation e-mail - I have an audition for a local band on Tuesday the 15th. This has been a dream of mine for AGES and I'm so excited about the opportunity it presents. The thing that's got me the most nervous is that during my phone interview the leader made it clear that they were looking for someone with a 'look'. Because this person was going to be the 'face of the band'. Now, while I have every confidence in my singing abilities - It's probably apparent that I'm not so self-assured in the 'looks' department. Oh well - it's not like I'm going to be able to change anything in five days!

Wish me luck!

The lead singer pictured has gotten married and moved to Reno...

Wednesday, March 9, 2005

I just had a FANTASTIC workout today. I finally took ahold of myself, gave myself a little shake and desided ENOUGH SLACKING! I also managed to shake myself out of a MAJOR case of the blues, and I took a nap at lunch in my car - so it could have been why I had the extra energy tonight. I've been coming home and sleeping almost every other day this week!

Anyway - I did my arm workout (yea! Í'm back at the weights) and a run. It was in the 80's today so it was still quite balmy when I got home. Balmy enough to send me running outside to get on my weight machine. Bi's and Tri's all done! whoop!

My run tonight was REALLY intersting - I though I wouild share it in case someone else wanted to give it a try ...

first pick a speed that's just above a level 6 (for me that's 3.7 mph- a brisk walk) We'll call that L6. Then you raise the speed for íntervals. But that's not all - you also vary the incline gradually making each interval harder AND each interval gets longer...

Warm up for 2.5 to 5 minutes

Minute Speed Incline
1 + .5 3
1 L6 3
1.5 + .5 4
1.5 L6 4
2 + .5 5
2 L6 5
3 + .7 6
3 L6 6

You've now finished the first 1/2 of the workout - If you're into shorter cardio sessions stop there and cool down, otherwise take a short 'recovery period' (incline 0 speed L6 for 2.5 minutes) and try this next:

Set the treadmill at L6 + .7mph and leave it there

Minutes Incline
1.5 2
1.5 3
1.5 4
1.5 5
1.5 6

And you're done! cool down for 2.5 to 5 minutes

Not only was this workout fun - but I'm pretty sure I hit a 9 and a 10 in there.

Oh! and the other thing I did that's probably got a LOT to do with me being pumped up and ready to workout? I signed up for a 5K on May 7th. I did my first 5K last year about that time, and I'm ready to challenge myself again. Nothing like a deadline (and a $25 entry fee) to motivate me! anyone in the bay area (or place beyond for that matter) who wants for info.. you can check it out here: The Nut Tree Challenge at Lagoon Valley Best of all - I think I've guilted Nigel into entering as well ;) yeah - he runs to fast for us to do it together, but we can still push and/or remind each other to workout!

Oh - and except for a wierd blip on Monday - I've been under 200 for an entire week now! whoop!

Monday, March 7, 2005

The weekend was really nice. I always enjoy the few times Nigel and I get to spend time together ALONE. The only down side is having to go back to work on Monday - it's harder after weekends with just the two of us. One day I won't have to leave the house when Monday rolls around.

Saturday was good both food wise and excercise. I ate clean and we went on a 2+ mile hike and then a walk along the beach. My kind of excercise.

Sunday was also good foor wise. I didn't workout though. So I've already racked up my second yellow day for the month. The good news is I feel my nutrition is tighter then ever and I feel if I focus most of my energy on eating clean I'll make progess even with a few missed workouts.

The plan for tonight is a leg workout - I told Nigel that I would help with laundry after I got home so that will eat a chunk out of my evening - still, I'll be sure to get a workout in after I get home.

In other news - I finally got Nigel to go to the Dr. A few months ago when he was in Dallas and workout out without me, he hurt his shoulder. It hasn't been the same since and it's effected his workouts, his day to day movements, and his sleeping. I finally convinced him to make an appointment and have it looked at. The good news is, it's not as bad as we thought. It's not a tear or a muscle injury. The bad news is - it's a shoulder impingement - a swollen bursa sack. He's been working out with excercise bands and the Dr said he should continue doing that. Other then that she said, no overhead movements for a while and to warm it up in the shower and stretch it every day. Anyone else have ideas - Emma I seem to remember you giving out information on this sort of thing before.

Anyway - that's all my news. Here's to another great week and the start of a great month.

Saturday, March 5, 2005

Reason 110 to workout

A hot shower feels 100 times better after you've gotten all sweaty and sore!

Green day here - going to bed now

Friday, March 4, 2005

Yesterday ended as green as it started. I got on the treadmill and did a pyramid run. slowly ramping up to 5 mph, then slowly ramping back down. It was a good solid workout, but because of the varying speed wasn't that hard 'mentally'. I'm a little sore from the two hard cardio sessions I've done, but it's a good kind a sore. I like it.

Food was good, but it was close a few times. I had to walk through the mall - that KILLS me. The cinnabon, the bagel dogs, the hot dog on a stick. So - I tried my new cravings trick. Listerine breath strips in cool mint. I popped one of those in my mouth and the urge to eat ANYTHING was immediatly gone. PLUS I could no longer smell all the food so it took care of THAT aspect of the temptation too.

Dinner was simple but good, but for some reason I was back to battling cravings. Nothing specific I just had the munchies BIG TIME. So, I popped another breath strip. Like I said - they wipe out ANY thoughts of eating anything. It worked, I made it through the night. Something tells me that last night was a major turning point. My body has been really fighting me this week - major appitite battles on Monday and super cravings last night. When I make it through the weekend clean it's going to line in the sand for me, I just know it!

And my self motivational quote for the day:

"Being thin may not make me happy, but being fat will make me huhappy. I will always be happier with myself if I am living in control with my weight and my food."

Thursday, March 3, 2005

It's a coworker's birthday today and instead of having the traditional birthday cake that I can easily avoid- the culinary expert of our group desided to make everyone a special treat. He's got a blow torch in his cube and he's carmelizing bananas - or something to that effect. I just know that it smells SO GOOD! luckily I told him I didn't want any that I didn't want any before he even started. That way I didn't have to try to turn down the treat with the smell in my nose. It sure makes it more difficult to enjoy my salad. Oh well...

"Foods may give me momentary pleasure, but my happyness is the greater reward when I look in the mirror and know I'm looking my best, wearing clothes that I've always wanted to wear, feeling fit and glowing with well-being."

It's going to be a challenge getting a workout done tonight. I've got to sit here and monitor the network until 5:00PM and then make two client stops nearby before I can go home. BLEH. That means a late night - and I'll be tired. I'm focusing NOW on working out though so that I know that skipping is no option.

I'm hanging in here!

Wednesday, March 2, 2005

I said I would work out tonight and I did! And boy did I push myself! 45 minutes on the treadmill - 5 minute warm-up 5 minute cool-down and 35 minutes running at 4.5 mph. all together I went over 3 miles! That, after a clean day of eating has me sitting on cloud nine. That's 1 green day in a row and here's to breaking my current year's record of 14!
All of life contains adjustments and tradeoffs

I think I’ve finally managed to remove the dark mantle of melancholy that’s been hanging on me this week. I’m feeling better today – it’s probably not a coincidence that it also stopped raining.

I finally broke down and took pictures tonight. There were no surprises there, and it did little to improve my mood. I’m not going to martyr myself and say that there was no progress, but I found that when I looked at I was FINDING progress rather then SEEING it. “Oh look, that crease in my back is a little shallower…” and things of that sort. But, it’s a new day and a new month. I’m moving on.

My quote for the day…

“It’s time to stop resenting what I do to keep my body healthy and attractive. Everything I value in my life; my relationships, my children, and my career; has taken work, focus, and endurance. Why should it be any different when it comes to managing my weight?”

Yesterday’s food was right on. No hitches or glitches there. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any exercise in. I’ve just been so tired of late. I sent myself to bed and got a LOT of rest. I need to spend time today programming my expectations so that I WILL go home and exercise tonight.

The plan is to run on the treadmill.

I guess that’s about it for now. Have a good day and a GREAT week everyone.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005

You can't eat it ALL and still be thin

"Where food is concerned, even the most mature adults often act like children; like children who want thier way no matter what, blocking out the negative consequenses of thier eating"

I started the day deep in the blues. My progress so far this year has been dissapointing. Especially since I feel I've been doing alright about 85% of the time. There was a time when 85% was enough. I guess it's not any more. I've abused my system too much. I'm starting to feel as if I'm stuck in an all or nothing situation... if I don't do it ALL right, then I get NOTHING for results. On the other hand, I did manage to find one postive. If you consider the fact that I gained 33 pounds in 10 months (Yes I just went back and checked my records - I weighed 175 in March of 2004 and ended the year at 208) and I've managed not to gain ANY in the past 2 - that's progress right?

Ok - enough of that. I'm doing what I can to shake off these negative thoughts. I can't change last year, all I can do is work on changing THIS year. I'm going to make March MY MONTH! I will focus on my obligation and on eating correctly. AND I will focus on making my body as healthy as possable by excercising daily. I've got a little less then four weeks left in this challenge and I'm going to make them count! Soooo March goals are this...

By April 1st I will -

Weigh 192 or less
have eaten on plan every day of the month (Free days only as 'planned')
have done some kind of excercise every day of the month (6 days of 'planned' excercises and 1 day of 'active rest')

Time to read my personal obligation and write a little more in my personal journal.

Thanks you all for being here :)