Tuesday, June 14, 2016

 When will except the fact that I need to get serious about losing weight? It wasn't when I went to almost 290 pounds. Will it be the fact that my blood pressure is starting to get out-of-control? Or the fact that my feet are breaking down from all the extra weight?  I could cripple myself just by going barefoot. There's something really wrong with that.

 Getting ready to go to the gym now. Still funny it hard to get out of the house. But I'm going to do it. I keep telling myself I'll feel better once I go. I know I'll feel better once I go. But that initial motivation is hard to find.

I've got my workout clothes on, I've taken my no explode, just need to get my socks and shoes on and get into the car! I can do this!

Monday, March 14, 2016

Well, I was on a roll and then the holidays hit and the beginning of 2016 has been super stressful.  So, what do I do?  I eat, and binge and eat so more.

And I gain, and gain, and gain...  I'm at a weight I can't even fathom... 280! What The Fuck!!!

 I saw my arms in the mirror today and I nearly fell over!  They are huge!  I mean all of me is huge but some how I thought I still had nice looking arms and calves.  But no...

I have to do something!  I managed to make it a few hours into the day today 'on plan'  then binged on some chocolate... then did ok... then ate 6 Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

I feel completely helpless and hopeless and I'm not sure where to start or how to get a handle on this before it gets any worse.  300lbs is not that far away.  I can't let it get to that!

Why is it so hard to tell myself no?  Why can't I deal with stress like a 'normal' person - without having to eat an entire box of yellow zingers.  Why, why, why!?