Wednesday, November 30, 2005

This morning at the end of our session our trainer asked if he could reschedule our appointment from Wednesday to Tuesday because Wednesday he was going to be doing something. He went on to explain that he was going to be filming a reality show where he was going to be training four people (three women and one man) for 12 weeks.

I didn't think that much about it. In case you didn't know, we arn't TV people. We haven't had/watched Broadcast TV in about four years. So the Fiance and I say "Oh, Ok, no problem" and go blissfully on our way.

Then this morning while cruzing blogs etc I start reading about the Biggest Loser. Then on Renee's Blog I read "- I doubt* I'll watch the local losers show, where they pit smaller groups of people working w/their own trainers against each other."

Suddenly a little bell went *ding* in my head - could THIS have been what my trainer was talking about. He's going to be on Local Losers?

Does ANYONE know more about this show? I want the DISH!
I’ll start with a dress update.

I did a bunch of ‘online’ shopping. There was probably a few I could have gone with, but it would have had to be a ‘rush’ order to get here in time and the very likely chance that it wouldn’t fit when it got here and I would be – up the creek – as they say. I had already been to Macy’s and knew I wasn’t going to find anything there. So at lunch I made a stop at Nordstrom’s – tried on a size 16 in the Misses section and had the same problem with my dress at home. Fit everywhere but in the boobs. So I went up to the ‘Woman’s’ department. Unfortunately, Nordstrom’s is one of those stores that believes if you’re wearing ‘woman’s’ sizes you must be 60+ years old. ICK! I did try on one dress there but it was a purple ruffled disaster.

Then I went to the Jessica McClintock store. I think they must ‘right size’ their clothes because I couldn’t even fit into an 18 there! EEP!

As an afterthought I stopped at Ross. Good ol’ Ross with their vanity sizing. There’s no doubt that I fit into a 16 there. It was nice to back in the comfortable land of cheep ass clothing ;) Unfortunately, their selection was bad – and I get so frustrated while I’m there finding dresses I like in my section on the rack, but when I check the tag their a freaking size 6! I actually said, out loud, “Someone’s really got a sick mind to put a size six in with the size 16’s” I made a lady nearby laugh. However, mixed in with the size 10’s a found a pretty ‘little black dress’ with a little ‘funk’ mixed in. and hanging from the tag… size 16. I tried it on… zip it up (all the way up) and went TADA! It fit, it looked pretty ‘kickin’ And it only cost $22. If I have time I may end up going to Torrid and Dress Barn for Women and seeing if they have anything a little fancier but if they don’t, I’m happy with what I found. AND it only cost $22 (I love a bargain)

One thing about shopping (more fitness related). I had eaten at turkey sandwich at 11:30 yesterday morning. I ended up leaving to go shopping at 2:00. I didn’t think much about it until I actually got out there and started walking around. Then it hit me, I was STARVING! I knew I didn’t have time to stop so I just kept shopping. About 4:00PM when I finally was headed back to the office I noticed I was SHAKING as I walked up the stairs. BLEH. (Note to self, put protein bar in purse). By the time I hit the office kitchen I wasn’t interested in anything that actually needed to be heated up, so I mixed up a quick Protein shake and downed it. MUCH better. The rest of the food for the day ended up going just as well. I’m really happy about that.

This morning, I RIPPED myself out of bed at 4:00AM. I was achy sore and had a headache. ICK. It took me longer then usual to wake up. In truth knowing I couldn’t let my fiancé down was probably the only thing that got me to the gym this morning. I’m so lucky to have him.

We had another session with the trainer. We started with a warmup and some core work again (step ups, crunches and ‘hopscotch’) then did legs and arms. This time it was much better. We started with squats and I was really happy to discover that my form was nearly perfect. I need to lean back a little more but other then that… My fiancé however, can’t even DO a squat. Yeah he do something that might LOOK like a squat but when he’s forced to use proper form, he can’t do it at ALL. I’ve always thought he had poor posture and suspected a rather weak core but MAN! He ended up having to do squats using the Swiss ball pushed against the wall.

When I did leg extensions the trainer did something interesting. He actually put his foot on the pad and pushed against it while lifted. I have to tell you that was the most fun I’ve ever had doing leg extensions… pushing against his resistance made if feel like I was kind of competing against him. I loved it.

After a few rounds of that we went over to the hack squat machine 15 reps at 90 lbs and 5 more with no weight. After the leg extensions and then this, my legs were feeling rather toasted. I LOVE wobbly legs :)

We then did tris and bis – pretty easy stuff. My Bis were still sore from Mondays chest workout (dunno what’s up with that) but I managed all the reps and again with great form. After our workout out I told my fiancé that the trainer liked him better. He’s always giving him tons of encouragement etc. Fiancé said “It’s because I’m more of a ‘project’ then you are” I had to laugh because I think he’s right. We’ll see him two more times next week then our free sessions run out. After that – I really don’t think I’ll continue. My fiancé, however, could maybe use the help. We’ll see.

So – food in on track today – I packed my lunches again and I’m ready to have another ‘successful’ day.

Happy Hump Day!
Thanksgiving Leftovers Anyone?

Turkey and Vegetable Pasta
4 cups cooked medium-size pasta (rotini, rigatoni, etc.)
2 cups broccoli florets
2 carrots, sliced
1 tablespoon reduced fat margarine
1 large onion, diced
2 cloves minced garlic
2 celery stalks, diced
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 (14.5 ounce) can reduced sodium, reduced fat chicken broth
1 teaspoon ground sage
2 cups cooked turkey breast, diced

Prepare pasta according to package directions. Add broccoli and
carrots to water during the last 3 minutes and cook until pasta
is al dente and vegetables are tender. Drain and set aside.

Melt margarine in large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add
onion, garlic and celery and saute for 3 minutes. Stir in the
flour. Add the chicken broth and sage and mix until flour
dissolves. Add turkey and continue to simmer until heated
through. Combine the turkey mixture with pasta and vegetables.

Makes 6 Servings
Serving Size: 16 ounces

Nutrients per serving:
Calories: 259
Total fat: 5 grams (17% of calories)
Saturated fat: 1 gram
Cholesterol: 30 mg
Sodium: 460 mg
Carbohydrate: 36 grams (55% of calories)
Protein: 18 grams (27% of calories)
Dietary fiber: 3 grams

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A few days ago I was thrilled to find out that the girls at work had decided to go 'formal' to the company Christmas Party. It meant I was finally going to get another use out of the BEAUTIFUL Christmas formal hanging in the back of my closet. Last night I pulled it out to assess what needed to be done to it for it to be wearable. It still looked great – a little steam ironing and it would be ready to go. In happy anticipation I slid out of my PJ top and pulled the dress over my head. It still fell as beautifully as ever over my hips artfully camouflaging my ‘bulk’ with tulle. I started zipping and then… Stopped. About 1.5 inches from the top of the zipper, there was no going any higher. My ‘lats’ (ok back fat) and bust line were not going to let it happen. I wanted to cry. Heck I STILL want to cry. Actually I want to cuss and throw things! I Swear to you, right here and now, that dress will NOT fit next year either – it will be too big! Arrrrrrrrrrrg!

So now I have to go dress shopping. An endeavor sure to have me at wits end within the first five minutes. Please – be thinking of me :P

Yesterday was ‘OK’. I did alright on food but could have made better choices a few times. Then we got home. Yesterday in my evaluation of the pitfalls that lay before me I forgot one thing. Sitting so innocently on my kitchen counter was a freshly baked Danish Pastry. Somehow my fiancé and justified eating THE ENTIRE THING by saying – hey we’ll finish it so that it won’t temp us the rest of the week. Yeah. Too bad I tried on the dress AFTER.

The good news is I made myself get out of bed this morning and hit the gym. Seriously MADE myself. I hit the snooze button twice. The fiancé didn’t even stir either time. I could have turned off the alarm and no one would be the wiser. I finally got up, did my stumble to the bathroom and started moving around. Still no stirring from the fiancé. I went back into the bed room and kissed him awake. It took awhile. I kept expecting him to ask to sleep in. He didn’t, so I made it to the gym.

Once at the gym I did cardio. Yeah – only cardio. It was weird, it felt… incomplete. And I REALLY didn’t want to do it. I felt so tired! But I got on and started that little ‘trick’ that I do to ‘fool’ myself into doing something. It started out with, “Just do the warm-up, 5 minutes, that’s all” Then it was, “See that wasn’t so bad, push it to 4mpr, just for a minute, you can stop after a minute if it’s too hard.” And so on. It never got ‘too hard’. Total mileage including the 5 minute warm up and cool down: 2.5miles. Total time: 35:45.

So cardio is done. I actually packed my lunch today – so that’s all set. I found out yesterday that salads just weren’t going to cut it when it’s cold and rainy outside. My brain started saying, “Must have warm food!” So today I planned and brought in stuff I can quickly heat in the microwave.

Best news so far? Down 1 lb as of today (204.8). The weekend ‘bloat’ is falling off already YAY!

Monday, November 28, 2005

I almost forgot – I wanted to tell you about my visit with my Dad.

As you may (or may not) know. My Dad’s a personal trainer. For Bally’s. In Hollywood. While I have never doubted that he’s good at what he does, I did have a pre-conceived idea concerning his cliental. He is, after all, a PT in what I believe has to be one of the most narcissistic cities in the world. I figured his clients were pretty much rich cardio bunnies looking for a good looking (what can I say I’m biased) guy to talk to for an hour.

Well, while we were at his house this past Saturday, my Dad started talking about his clients. And yes, he’s got some spoiled little rich girls who don’t mind paying the money and then ignoring everything he tells them to do. But, my Dad (it turns out) has a ‘special’ certification. (don’t ask me what it is – I don’t know). It makes him qualified to work with people who… for lack of a better word…have ‘special’ needs. He calls these folks his ‘gimp’ squad.

One client is a 20 something male with MS. He’s in a wheelchair, and is angry at the world. He feels the medical community has let him down and he’s turned to strength training as a way to improve his quality of life. My Dad’s designed a program that works with his strengths and weaknesses. He pushes him when he needs it and tells him to take it easy when he needs it as well. Many of the things they do require my Dad to pick him up out of his wheel chair and move him into position. This isn’t your ordinary PT session by far.

Then there is the couple he trains. The husband has Type I Diabetes. He’s always had trouble regulating his blood sugar and thought strength training might be the key. He had used other trainers before but found they were clueless when it came to his unique medical issues. My Dad – spent the days before their first session learning what he could about Diabetes. They then tested this gentleman’s blood sugar before and after his sessions only to discover that his blood sugar wasn’t responding the way it was ‘expected’ to. By working with this man’s Dr they were able to work out a nutrition/training plan that counteracted the spikes and dips that occurred while he was working out AND he’s found that the exercise has improved his fitness overall and he’s better able to regulate his blood sugar outside the gym as well.

His wife has suffered from Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis since she was 11. Before she started working with my Dad, she couldn’t walk up the front porch steps without help from her husband. Again my Dad designed a plan for her that not only has helped her get into better shape, but that’s flexible enough to take into account that some days she’s going to be in more pain then others. So if she can’t move a certain way one day, he’ll find another exercise for her to do that will serve the purpose but avoid the painful movement. He said she proudly comes in and tells him how many miles she walked the day before at the beginning of each session.

And it goes on and on.

My Dad is very passionate about his Gimp squad. He’s excited about helping them train, but he emphasizes over and over again that it’s more about the quality of life. He says it’s different working with people who’s measure of success isn’t the amount of weight they are pressing, or the reps. The real measure is the man who used to have wait for his wife to come home to get the mail because he couldn’t walk all the way to the mailbox, but can now make it to the end of the driveway on his own. The man who’s no longer a prisoner in his own home due to a disability.

The other day my Dad found out about a nearby aquatic center. It’s a huge facility that was build specifically for people with special exercise needs. It’s apparently underutilized even though it’s high tech/state of the art. So, my Dad went to speak to the director. He had to find a way to tell her – you’re system’s flawed and you need me to fix it, without totally alienating her. It sounds like he managed. He’s been asked to write a proposal detailing the changes he would make. He’s So excited!

He also told me that when he left the place he had to find a place out a site for a moment – because he cried when he thought about how the state of the art equipment could be used to help his ‘gimp squad’.

My Dad – 6’2” – 225 lbs cried.

I’m so damn proud of him.
I can sum up my five day weekend by saying – This morning was the first time I had worked out since Tuesday, and the healthiest thing I’ve eaten in that time was probably Thanksgiving dinner – and the leftovers on Saturday Night.


Good news? I didn’t gain as much weight as I had thought( 205.8 this morning). AND even though we got in at 10:30 PM last night, and after unpacking etc didn’t get to sleep until about 11:30 -12:00, I still got up at 4:00AM this morning and hit the gym! I’m ready, I’m focused I have a DREAM and I’m going to make that dream a reality. 180 by the end of February. If I focus I can do this! I’m getting excited just thinking about it. I know I’m on the cusp of some major changes – I’m ready to push to make sure that happens. I’m going to be SEXY by summer.

The workout this morning was a little different. We met with our trainer for the first time. He’s going to be working with us twice a week for the next two weeks. This means a break from Max-OT for me. But I think I was due.

The plan he’d created for us was low(er) weight for more reps with little to no rest and some supersetting. We started with warming up and then did some ‘core’ work (crunches, planks, step-ups, leg stretch, and some strange jumping back and forth over a Frisbee thing which was the hardest of them all for me to do.) Then we did our upper body workout.

Superset – chest/back
Cable chest press: 15lbs x 20 / 12.5 x 20
Seated Row: 75lbs x 20 / 60 x 20

I was REALLY getting frustrated with these for a number of reasons
First off – I wasn’t feeling these in my chest or back at all, instead I had this burning cramping feeling in the back of my arms/shoulders.(Posterior Deltiod). Basically I wasn’t feeling the muscle working – but instead was feeling a nasty case of lactic acid buildup. And in a WEIRD muscle. I also found it was REALLY hard to focus for the amount of time it takes to do twenty reps for a 3/2 count. But, I did it.

Then I did two sets of shoulder presses on the cable machine:

15lbs x 20
10lbs x 20

Again I was feeling more lactic acid buildup then muscle fatigue. And the same thing – keeping straight form (which requires a lot of focus for me) for that LONG was hard.

The good news – the trainer was falling over himself praising my form. It’s nice to know that it’s not just in my head. I really am doing the right thing.

Going forward, I think the workouts are going to keep taking care of themselves. It’s the food that’s going to be my focus. Free days will be ONE DAY and regulated calorie wise. And I’m going to work on my water intake. I need to flush some of this crap out of my body.

Challenges this week (and today)? The holiday season is now in full force. EVERYONE is bringing their holiday goodies into the office. Homemade cookies and biscotti were on the menu today. I nibbled the biscotti and passed on the cookies. Saturday is my Company Christmas party. That’ll be my free day. I also want to make a goal to try one more crock-pot recipe this week. Eventually I’ll find something that works! :)

So – that’s it. The goal is to be 201 by 12/9 – a little aggressive but doable considering I’m carrying around some ‘thanksgiving bloat’ at the moment.

Here’s to healthy Eating!
I'm back - more to follow

I hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving weekend.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I had a rather pleasant thought this morning. If my body fat % is correct… I have 140lbs of lean mass. (I’m 5’5 by the way). Do you know how many woman FIGHT to get to 140lbs of mass!? Sheesh! If I can maintain this I’ll be able to walk onto a body building stage without having to do any ‘bulking’. Not that I intend to, but the thought was there. I had to smile at that one.

Also I’ve been looking over my records – I’ve added 5 (or more) pounds to EVERY lift except bicep curls in the past month. (focus on the positive here…)

So I hit the gym this morning in a positive frame of mind. Oh yeah – I actually jumped out of bed and walked across the room before the thought ‘Man I’m tired!’ crossed my mind. It was nice not to have to fight to get up and merely fight to STAY that way. Anyway, I hit the gym (well I didn’t HIT it – I did manage to park the car in a stall, and I didn’t run into the wall or door walking in, that’s progress for me!) ;) and headed for the treadmill. It’s a training day and I needed to run. I really wasn’t feeling it, I started trying to give myself excuses why NOT to run, but I quickly threw those thoughts away and climbed on. I couldn’t remember how many miles I was supposed to run (dumb I know) so I did 2.25 just to be sure. I set the treadmill at 1.5% incline and went for it. I had to walk a few times and couldn’t maintain 5.0 MPR for very long but I did it! I finished in 30:25 minutes!

After that I headed to the weight room to do arms. After three warm up sets I did:

EZ Bar Curl: 55 x 6 / 55 x 6

Now, remember how I said I had gone up on every lift but curls? I thought today might be a good day to change that so I grabbed the 30 lb dumbbells. Much to my frustration it wasn’t happening. I could do TWO and that was it :( So I went back to the 25 lb ones and did my sets.

Alt Dumbbell Curls: 25 x 6 / 25 x 6
Cable Curl: 85 x 6

I then went over to the cable pull down station, loaded on my weight and clipped on the rope. I put my back to the machine and tried an overhead pulldown… I couldn’t believe how hard it was! After trying and failing at 30 lb curls I was starting to get a little frustrated. I pulled the five pound rubber weight off the top of the stack and tried again. Still couldn’t do it. I start thinking “What’s wrong with me? Am I overtraining? I did 55 lbs last week and now I can’t even do 50! Am I eating too little now and losing my strength?” I turned around to set the pin lower and that’s when I noticed – I had set it at 60 – NOT 50… DUH. I think I need to wear my glasses while working out!

Overhead Tri PullDown: 50 x 6 / 55 x 6
Tri Pushdown: 105 x 6 / 110 x 6 (up another five pounds on this one!)
Tri Kickbacks: 30 x 6 (yes – five pounds here too)

One thing I’ve noticed that got me wondering. I can lift more weight with my Tri’s then my Bi’s… is that normal?

So, workout was done and I hit the showers. While I was in the shower I realized something. It’s time to change my program. I’ve been doing Max-OT since October 10.. that’ll be 7 weeks at the end of this week. I think it’s long enough. I’m starting to notice I’m sore and achy in my wrists elbows and knees instead of my muscles. I think it’s time to let my ligaments, joints and tendons some time to recovery and strengthen. So starting Monday I’m going to change things up… MAJORLY. The 24hour fitness guy wants me to do a full body workout three days a week and cardio three days a week. Since we’re meeting with him two days a week for the next two weeks I think I’ll do that. I think the recovery time will do me good – with full days of rests built in. Once those two days are over… I’m not sure what I’ll do. I think by that time I’ll be itching to load up a 45 lb plate… heheheh. I don’t know – give me some suggestions folks – I’m open.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I just wanted to note that I input my food for the day into fitday

2053 Calories

31% Fat/ 35% Carbs/ 31% Protein

Exactly where I want it

I'll try this for a few days and see what's up. Maybe I really am eating more then I think I am, but interestingly enough I came out EXACTLY where I expected today.

Thank you to everyone for your suggestions. I think what frustrats me more then anything is that things like restricting carbs and zig-zag ing calories are supposed to be 'advanced'weight loss techniques. You know, for those people who've been doing this for a while and have hit a wall. Me, I STARTED at a wall - what's up with that!? I didn't even get the 10 pound water weight 'gimme'. And no, this isn't the 'eight week freekout'. It's been 19 weeks!

Sorry - I happened to pull up my tracking worksheet tonight and realized that in 19 weeks I haven't even hit my FOUR WEEK GOAL yet! I wanted to just sit here and CRY.

but now I've vented I'm over it. I could sit here and whine about it or I could make a plan and take action. I'll take action!

I promise - no more posts about my lack of progress for another month ok! But if something positive happens - you'll be the first to know about it. Deal? Deal!

I didn't walk tonight - just WAY too much to do (and not enough time). As it is I'm up past my bedtime. If I want to be able to get up tomorrow and do my workout. (The most important one as far as I'm concerned) then I have to make choices and tonight the choice was to cook and not walk for 30 minutes.

See you all on the flip side!
Ok - let me answer a few questions here :)

First off: Pink Dumbbells is a fitness forum... you can check it out at

Next: Metabolism testing - it's easy - it's painless. Bascially You have a mouthpiece that connects to this little machine called a "Body Gem" and you spend about 7 minutes breathing into the thing... here's a more indepth explination.

The Body Gem is a device that is capable of measuring an individuals' own resting metabolic rate with startling clinical accuracy, and present the results in a simple daily caloric requirement. The compact device is non-invasive, lightweight, and it provides a true measurement of how many calories the individuals' body requires to maintain proper metabolic function.

The device has been tested to offer repeatable accuracy within a 1% margin of error when compared to the medical standard Douglas Bag. By detecting changes in air quality regarding temperature increase, oxygen content reduction, humidity and moisture change, and pressure change, an exact, scientific measurement can be made of the amount of heat energy required to create that specific change in air volume. This data is calculated into a number of calories representing the amount of energy required for an individual to maintain their body for a 24-hour period (assuming 16 hours of rest, and 8 hours of sleep). This number, representing RMR (resting metabolic rate), is the minimum number of calories required to keep the body functioning correctly for 24-hours. Factored into an equation with energy requirements for exercise and activity level reveals a scientifically based number of calories required for body maintenance.

That being said, let me tell you about saturday and the tailspin of confusion it's put me into...

I got two numbers Saturday that SHOULD be useful. My BMR and my body fat %.

So, my BMR - that's Basel Metobolic Rate, the number of calories I burn just sitting still and breathing and stuff is 1788.

My body fat% based on being 'pinched' in four places: Bicep, tricep, Back and hip. the total (are you ready cause I wasn't?) 31%

Now to say that both these numbers surprised me is an understatement. Let's start with the BMR. In a way it makes sence. It explains why I struggle to get my calories down to what they say a 'woman' should eat (somewhere in the 1400 range is what I always hear). And it's competely supported by my updated Body Fat % - 31% Body fat at my current weight of 203 is about 140 pounds of lean mass - an amount very much capable of supporting a BMR of over 1700. But, what it doesn't explain is why in the HELL I struggle to lose a single pound. Even when I say 'Eff it' and go hungry I can barely scape together a 1 lb loss. Everyone say it with me.. "Arrrrrrgggg!" And before you came at me with the 'evils of scale use' let me just say - I take my measurements, I measure body fat, I take progress pictures. NOTHING is changing people...

Then there's this 'new' body fat %. I was well aware that my scale was probably wrong, but I verified it with the navy measurement site and other then wanting to watch the numbers go DOWN I wasn't that concerned about the actual number. HOWEVER - my body fat % has an effect on my goals. I'm not interested in starving myself. I want to maintain my lean mass, but according to this new number my LEAN MASS is already 10 pounds over my goal of 130. Ok, I'm willing to deal with that - BUT, according to these numbers - if I was to reach my goal of 18% Body fat I would weigh 170. People, I've BEEN to 175 before and that is NOT 5 pounds from goal. And I highly doubt I've managed to put on THAT MUCH muscle over the past few years.

So - here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to ignore the new body fat % and continue to measure in my old way. Just watch that I'm not dropping lean mass to the best of my ability. As for my goal. I'm not going to change it - yet. About 160 I'm going to start to analyze my visual appearance and go from there. I suspect my goal is still very close to what I originally predicted - between 130 and 135. But, I could be surprised.

As for calories. I'm going to go on the assumption that the reading was right. Perhaps I'm WAY overdoing it on my free day (or having too many three day free 'days') I'm going to spend a solid week recording calories and see how it goes (probably three days this week - and then the entire week next week). Keeping my calories around 2100 and my free day around 2500 SHOULD show results with the amount of exercising I'm doing...

And so onto other things.

Didn't run yesterday. I got involved in other things. I DID however do 40 minutes of cardio on Saturday. My food for the two days was good. I was proud of how I controlled myself. No alcohol while we were out Saturday night - and good eats when we went out to dinner!

This morning I was up and at’em at the normal time. Hit the gym. did some quick cardio and then hit the weights:


Flat BB Press (plus bar): 80 x 6 / 80 x 7 / 80 x 6
Incline DB Press: 50 x 6 / 50 x 6 / 50 x 6
Cable flye: 30 x 6 / 30 x 6


Cable Crunches: 190 x 15 / 190 x 15
Leg lifts: 15 / 15
Incline Crunches: Highest Level x 25

And that was that. The plan for today is to do so LISS walking when I get home, and a training run tomorrow morning.

Have a great Monday everyone.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Going to the gym! Going to get my metabolism tested. This could be good! After that we're going to San Francisco and maybe I'll get to sing.

I really didn't have anything to say here. I just wanted to get that last post off the top because it just seemed to bum people out and that's HARDLY my goal.

Anyway, have a great weekend everyone! As they say at Pink Dumbbells: Lift Heavy, Run Fast, Live Healthy.

Friday, November 18, 2005

My blog is worth $3,951.78.
How much is your blog worth?

Cause it's kind of fun.

Well, I didn’t do my run last night. I was so tired by the time I got home I just said –“no”. But the good news is, I went to bed as soon as I started feeling tired (9:30) and fell right to sleep! Whoop! I didn’t wake up again until 3:58AM. When that happens it means my body is finally getting back into the cycle. YAY. Of course I didn’t do cardio last night so I don’t know if that was the culprit, but I’ll keep an eye on things.

Highlight of my day yesterday? When my hairdresser (I went back to get my hair colored - love it even more now) asked, "Are you a runner? Do you run?" and I got to answer "Yes, yes I do!"

Now, I hope your brought your dancing shoes, because I’ve got some good things to say. :)

So this morning – no real issues waking up. Made it to the gym on time and started on the treadmill. My training run went pretty much the same as last time except I only ran 1.75 miles and I remembered to set the treadmill to a 1.5% incline.

Now, you might be wondering why I use a 1.5% incline. (or not but I’m going to tell you anyway) There’s a few reasons. 1) My treadmill at home won’t go lower then a 1.5% incline and I want to be consistent. 2) Running outside is harder then running on a treadmill. Has to do with actually having to MOVE your body forward. So to approximate the effort needed to run outside you should set your treadmill at 1%. Since last time I trained for a 5K I did ALL my training runs on my treadmill (at 1.5% remember) I found that once I got on the streets it was actually EASIER! Talk about a boost on race day. So, the plan is to do training runs at 1.5% AGAIN so I’m ready when it’s time to hit the streets.

So, after my run I ready to do legs. Well… I wasn’t really READY but I did them anyway. (Took a bit to catch my breath) I am happy to say that even after running 1.75 miles I was STILL able to up my weights. Ready? HAPPY DANCE TIME!!

Squats (+Bar): 160 x 6 / 160 x 6 / 160 x 6

Last time I did squats I was doing 140 lbs and felt a little shaky. This time 160 and after a WEEK of intense cardio AND running 1.75miles! HELL YEAH – HAPPY DANCE!

Leg Press: 410 x 6 / 450 x 6

I would just like to mention that I have to load 10 freaking plates on this machine…10! And I think I’ll be able to go up again next week – That’s a lot of work! Heheheh Oh – and _I_ pressed 450lbs!!! HAPPY DANCE AGAIN

Straight Legged Dead Lift: 110 x 6 / 90 x 6

Now – you may wonder what’s going on here (or you might not but I’m going to tell you anyway). About ½ way through my first set I realized something. I was feeling these more in my back then in the backs of my legs (not negatively as in OMG I’m going throw out my back but whew that’s working the muscles of my lower back. Then it hit me that I was probably not hitting my form right. Because of the weight I was not doing a full range of motion and it was ending up being more of a “Good Morning” then a “Dead Lift”. SOoooo I offloaded some weight, made sure the bar went as low as I could get it (without rounding my back that’s just below my knees – even though when I stretch I can put my palms to the floor). And really squeezed my gluts as straightened. We’ll see if it makes a difference because dead lifts USED to KILL my ass lately – nada.

Calf Raises: 255 x 5 / 255 x 5

When I first walked over the Calf Raises my heel was starting to throb. I needed to stretch my calves and feet and the calf machine always does a great job – so I was looking forward to this. I was running a little short on time though so I hurriedly put the pin in and mounted the machine (heheh heheh I said mounted :P) the first push was like WHOA… this is heavy. I guess my calves are feeling all that cardio I’ve been doing. I pushed through and managed 5 reps. (FULL Reps from the top of my tippy toes to my heals practically touching the floor. MAN it feels good). I step off and check the pin – DUH it’s in 255 NOT 235 like I thought. HAPPY DANCE! The last set though, as soon as I pushed ‘up’ I got a pain (kind of like a cramp) in my left side under my shoulder blades. I probably could have done 6 but I had to get the weight off my shoulders. So I’m going to have to find a different calf exercise. Do you think the people in the gym would mind if I had fiancé sit on my back as I did Donkey raises? *chuckle*

Oh, I know I forgot to mention it yesterday, but no DOMS in the back :( However, this morning – shoulders! Felt them as soon as I tried to roll out of bed Whoop!

And lastly a progress report. Official weigh in? 203.1! Dance with me! Whoop! That’s nearly 1.5 pounds since Monday. We like this!

So the plan for the weekend?

Tomorrow I have personal training session. I’m kind of excited about it because I get to get my metabolism tested, body fat tested and checked for weaknesses and/or imbalances. I was supposed to do this at the beginning of the month – but I was having a rough go of it and I flaked. So besides that I’m planning another LISS session and a 2 mile training run, probably on Saturday and Sunday respectively. Eating back at 34/33/33 except today which is my free day. (Yeah folks I eat more fat then you – deal with it. If I don’t I turn into someone you DON’T want to know) The goals for the weekend is to show up Monday at 203 (or lower).

I also need to plan my workouts for next week as I think my training runs are going to have to fall in the morning from now on (with LISS at night) and I have to work around the whole Thanksgiving thing.

PLUS I get to hang with my Dad next weekend and I’m thinking I might just make him take me to his gym and give me PT session (My Dad’s a Personal Trainer at Ballies in case you didn’t know – lol).

So – that’s my update.

Give me another Happy Dance just for the heck of it!

whoop! whoop!
"All high achievers plan their work and work their plan, for
they are keenly aware that "luck" is most often being prepared
to take advantage of a situation."


Thursday, November 17, 2005

I got home last night at the regular time – 7:00PM, I changed, and jumped on the treadmill. 30 minutes and 1.5 miles of LISS cardio and I had burned up 300 calories!

I had some dinner, watched a movie, showered and crashed.

I Sooooo didn’t want to get up this morning. I mean, I was past the point where I could even argue with myself. My eyes would open and then shut again and no thought would pass through my brain other then, “Sleeeeeeeeep”. Thank GOD my fiancé was around. Somehow he woke up to an alarm I don’t even remember going off. He got up did some stuff (expecting me to get up too). Then came in and turned on the light, waited. (I didn’t stir). Walked over to the bed jumped on me and kissed me awake, (I do actually remember that one) and when I still couldn’t hold my eyes open for a second or two, he ripped the covers off of me and left me to fend for myself. I LOVE that man!

Later he told me he was coming in with ice next.

Seriously though I don’t know what’s wrong with my sleep patterns. Actually, I do. My freaking sleep disorder is rearing it’s ugly head – that’s what. Even though I’ve been up since 4:00AM, I lay in bed at night and can’t fall asleep. Then when I do, I wake up constantly – about once an hour. THEN, about the time my body has FINALLY settled into deep sleep. It’s time to wake up again. So I wake up feeling groggy and unrested. I think the night time cardio might be irritating my pre-existing condition. And there’s the fact that I stayed up later and slept in longer for more then my ‘usual’ number of days the past few weeks. So, first thing is to not give in to the morning sleepies, next is to make sure I don’t ‘bypass’ my bodies signal to sleep and stay up too late. That means early to bed and early to rise over the weekend. If I’m not doing better by the end of next week then I’ll have to cut nighttime cardio (and move it to lunch time like I keep saying I’m going to do).


I did get up this morning and I hit the gym at a reasonable time. I needed to do some cardio, but I didn’t want to run because I need to do a 1.5mile training run tonight (Yeah I’m going to try again). So, I jumped on the rowing machine. Other then a few cramps in my back – it was enjoyable and I pushed through my 20 minutes fairly easily. My gluts were a little sore by the end too which is good – my gluts could use the work.

Then it was time for shoulders. It was then that I realized that I’ve been running on a calorie deficit. No, really. After my first warm up set I was already ‘feeling’ weak and shaky. I put quotes around ‘feeling’ because it was obviously only a feeling. I went up five pounds on all but one exercise! Let me tell you it took a LOT of mental strength to get through my workout. My body kept sending signals of ‘I can’t’. While my mind was saying, “Yes you can”. And then I did.. HA I showed ME a thing or two… er yeah.

So.. shoulders:

Military Press (Plus Bar): 40 x 6 / 40 x 6 / 40 x 6
Arnold Press: 35 x 6 / 35 x 6
Lat Raise: 20 x 6 / 20 x 6
Upright row: 65 x 6 / 65 x 6

Back on lower carbs today, and I’ve got a 1.5 mile run tonight.

One last thing…well two more actually.

I’ve heard other people talk about this before but I’ve never really noticed it myself. But suddenly all the fat around my sides and middle has turned soft and jiggley! I’ve always heard this is a good sign but – WTH? Whereas before I could wear a ‘clingy’ shirt and as long as I stood up straight I was ok… Now there’s all this… softness and movement there. ICK! It’s like before my body was jello – but the hard kind with extra gelatin. And someone’s left me out in a warm room… and now I’ve gone all soft and wiggly. The news is – If I keep turning up the heat eventually I’ll start to melt and end up just a puddle on the plate… errr wait I think I lost something in that analogy. But you get the picture.

And while I’m on the subject of fat loss – has anyone else lost fat in WEIRD ways. Uh, let me expound on that. I’m losing fat more from the left side of my body. No, really. When I flex you can actually SEE the bicep peek in my left arm but not in my right. My left thigh has a dent in it (yes there’s still a layer of fat there – but the fat’s following the curve of the muscle)... a REAL dent. The right – it’s kind-of sort-of there. And then there’s my back. The last time I took photos it freaked me out. I thought my posture was effed up or I had some sort of weird imbalance happening. But my fiancé checked and I was standing up straight, my hips were level. I just had MORE FAT on my right side then my left… the creases in my back on my left side are almost non existent, whereas on my right there are deep and very noticeable.

Someone, please tell me I’m not a freak of nature here! Or, you can tell me that this has never happened to anyone and I’m special and unique! I have no problem being special and unique ;)

Have a GREAT day everyone.
I needed this today:

"Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock
long enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody."


More to follow...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I had already written the blog in my head. How I didn’t get home until 9:00PM because I had to do laundry last night, and how I did my 2 mile run ANYWAY even though I was tired. How I overcame and honored my self promise. Sometimes I do that… I have like this running commentary going on in my head. It motives me, it pushes me, it keeps me accountable.

So when I got home last night at 9:00PM I changed into my workout clothes and faced the treadmill. I was prepared, I had water, I had a towel, I had my fiancé’s IPOD and all my favorite ‘Cake’ songs loaded into my playlist. I stepped onto the treadmill – wound it up to 3MPR (1.5% incline) and started to walk. That’s when it hit me, I was exhausted! Not the ‘I’m so tired I don’t think I’ll workout’ kind of tired. But the ‘oh God am I going to be able to pick up my foot?’ kind of tired. And to top it all off my legs felt stiff and sore and my heal was ACHING. I walked at 3 MPR for two minutes praying it would get better. It didn’t, but it was time… I revved up to 5 MPR. After all that’s what these training runs were for… to TRAIN myself to run a 12 minute mile. It was getting harder. I actually became afraid that I was going to stumble, so I backed it down to 4 MPR, normally a level 5 in interval training but instead it felt like a level 10. After 5 minutes I gave up in defeat. I don’t know if it was the low calories, the low carbs (I had been eating only green carbs for two days) a lack of water or just me trying to do too much, but whatever it was I couldn’t continue. I didn’t beat myself up over it. I felt like I had made an adult decision to do what was best for me. I committed to do my run at the gym the next morning and finished my preparations for the night and went to bed.

Fiancé and I snuggled into bed together right as rain. We ‘made up’ (not that we really even fought) which according to Stacy counts as cardio – so I’m SO claiming I did my two for the day! ;)

This morning was a struggle getting out of bed but the thought of sleeping in never even occurred to me. (why or why does 4:00AM come so darn early?). Unfortunately we had a few extra things to take care of before we could leave the house so we ended up not getting to the gym until 5:15AM. The thoughts started flooding through my brain… “I’m not going to have time for 2 miles, that will take 30 minutes!”.

Then I remembered my commitment from last night, and my other promise that if I was short on time I would do cardio FIRST and shorten my weight workout if it came to that.

So I went over to the treadmill and started my run. Of course I started with a 3MP warm-up and did that for 2 minutes. Then I upped to 4.0 for a minute and 4.5 for another. Then it was time to go for 5.0. (Of course I realize now that I forgot to set the silly thing at 1.5% but hey –I’m not going to taint this with negative thoughts). I held at 5.0 until minute 10 then backed down to 3MPR to recover. After a minute at 3 MPR I bumped to 4.0 for a minute and then pushed it back to 5. When I backed down to 3MPR at minute 20 for my next rest break I was THRILLED to find I had already made it 1.5 miles. Again I went 1 minute at 3MPR then bumped it to 4MPR for a minute, then it was back to 5. When the display said I had 1 lap to go (.25 mile) I got ready to push it and really hit my 10. A quarter of the way around I pushed the speed to 5.5. I was surprised to find I still had juice left. At half way I bumped it to 6.0. I still wasn’t sucking wind – in fact I felt a burst of energy that made me smile. At three quarters I bumped it to 6.5. It was getting hard but it was bearable. For the last straight away I went up to 7.0 I was starting to ‘huff’ now – the arch in my right foot was cramping for a step or two, but it stopped. I was SO happy to hit that ‘Stop’ button at 3 miles – and was tickled pink to see I had finished in less then 25 minutes…whoop!

After a breather I went to do my back workout.

Lat Pulldown: 120 x 5 / 120 x 5 / 120 x 4
Row: 120 x 6 / 120 x 6
\Bent Row(Plus Bar): 65 x 6 / 65 x 5

So my chest still hurts from Monday, my bis and tris are sore from yesterday… Let’s see if we can go for the trivecta and have a little stiffness in the back tomorrow?

I’ll keep you posted ;)

To top it all off, THIS came in my mailbox this morning…

"A man may fall many times but he won't be a failure until he
says someone pushed him."

*Elmer G. Letterman

Oh – and that progress I was looking for!? It’s finally happening. I’ll wait for Friday to post final results.

Today’s eat will be higher in calorie and I’m adding fruit and complex carbs back in. OMG whole wheat toast never tasted so good as it did cold this morning with my cold poached eggs after my workout… heh.

Keep it green people!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Quick post because I'm tired of talking about myself ;)

Many of you know that I'm a fan of Nicole Weeks. I've watched her go through a BFL transformation, become a tri-fit athelete and then move on to compete in Figure. This year she got her pro card and she just competed in her third Pro Comp - the girl is SMOKIN!

One of the things about her that inspires me is that she's 5'5" (just like me) and of prussian decent (just like me). She's also very muscular and very strong - two qualities I stive for...

Check her out!

Nicole's Body Blog

BTW... wanna see the 'boyfriend' she's talking about?

check HIM out... god I would love to get some training sessions from him! In the gym! sheesh you people get your minds out of the gutter!

Tony Wild
I started to put this in a comment and then realized it was getting kind of long, AND my last post deserved a follow-up so here goes…

For the record… It wasn't 4 solid months of me feeling bad and him ignoring me, just various degrees of withdrawal and a feeling that something was 'off'. Believe me - it was still twice as much good as bad (If I could even dare call it bad).
Even the worse day with my honey(yesterday) is better then the best day with my ex and for that I'll be FOREVER grateful. It wasn't that he was acting mean or anything it was just me, letting my fears and insecurities get the best of me. And him not talking to me because… well I’m not really sure why…

And yes - now that he's FINALLY talked to me... we've agreed that even if we can't 'fix' the problem (money issues - bleh) we can take strides to improve on it.

For the record, I’m feeling better. I’m kind of mad that I didn’t get to enjoy and appreciate my workout this morning – but happy I got it done despite...everything.

I thought this snippit of our conversation earlier just about sums it up.

TheFiance says: :(

TheFiance says:

PartTimeMom says:
hi honey

PartTimeMom says:
what's up?

PartTimeMom says:
is there something wrong?

TheFiance says:
no why?

TheFiance says:
I have tons of work

PartTimeMom says:
cause you said 'hi" with a sad face

TheFiance says:
yep, I was sad because you cried

TheFiance says:
this situation is really hurting us

TheFiance says:
I am not going anywhere but it is making life miserable

PartTimeMom says:
I agree 100% so lets do what we can to fix it. I feel like we have a plan - and I really do believe we can execute it if we work together...

TheFiance says:
you said execute, you sound like a manager

Then we laughed
Fiancé and I have been going through some ‘stuff’ lately. Nothing to do with ‘us’, just outside pressures putting a strain on us. He’s been frustrated about some stuff for about four months now and that’s made him cranky. I’ve tried to talk to him about it because when he’s cranky I start thinking there’s something wrong with ‘us’. Then he says, “There’s nothing wrong with ‘us’, but if you keep bugging me to talk about it, there will be.” Which sounds really harsh when written here, but in truth it wasn’t. So I go away, but the crankiness and withdrawal continues so I approach him again and ask, and get the same answer – only the withdrawal gets worse.

I’ve tried to be patient and understanding. After all, the last time he acted like this, working so hard to NOT talk about something that he quit talking to me at all, he was working up the nerve to propose. But last night it started getting unbearable. I felt like we were strangers living in the same house. He even fell asleep with his back to me and didn’t snuggle all night.

So, what does all this have to do with a fitness blog? Well… After last night I woke up this morning feeling horrible, emotionally heavy and sick to my stomach. I got up anyway. I didn’t feel like working out – heck I didn’t feel like doing anything but sit in the room with the lights off and the covers over my head. After all, the most important thing in my life seemed to be going horribly wrong. I went through the motions anyway. Drank my ‘juice’, changed my clothes loaded the car. About the only thing I couldn’t ‘force’ myself to do was eat. Nothing was better when I got to the gym – I kept having to keep myself from bursting into tears. But, I worked out anyway.

20 minutes on the recumbent bike for 3 miles.

And Arms… Normally arms don’t follow chest, legs do, but I’ve moved legs to the end of the week when I have a rest day from running… so I was worried that my arms would still be wiped out. I didn’t want to lift heavy things. I didn’t want to be there with the bright lights and the people and the narcissistic personal trainer prancing around the equipment. But I lifted anyway – I lifted heavy and I put everything into the iron.

EZ Bar Curl: 55 x 6 / 55 x 6
Alternating Dumbbell Curl: 25 x 6 / 25 x 6
Straight Bar Cable Curl: 85 x 6

Tri Overhead Extension: 55 x 6 / 55 x 6
Tri Pushdown: 105 x 6 / 105 x 6
Tri Kickbacks: 25 x 6

I didn’t feel better.

The rest of the story? I rushed through my shower and made it to the car as fast as I could. THEN I finally burst into tears. Fiancé was so shocked that he finally started talking to me. In the four years we’ve been together he’s maybe seen me really break down only once before and THAT was because of issues with the ex and the kids so to see me like this because of HIM… well that changed some stuff. We talked – we talked a lot. We made a plan to address his frustrations so HE started feeling better. We worked out that he’s not leaving me so I started feeling better…

The problem is – once I start crying, I can’t stop. Guess I better up my H2O intake today. *sniff*

Monday, November 14, 2005

I know I never did it OUT LOUD... but for all those times I silently scoffed at LISS... I'm sorry!

OMG - 30 minutes at 3MPR and 10% Incline kicked my ASS!! I was drenched in sweat within the first minute and I walked away from the treddy as wiped out as I've EVER been from a HIIT. The last three minutes were HELL!

Thank you Kyra for sugesting it to me.. and thank you ME for finally trying it. Now I need to shower - thank you very much!
I really don't want to talk about my weekend. Heh. Let's just say that I really should buy Jelly Belly's and that eating the entire thing over one evening and one day does NOT make for a happy tummy.

But - it's Monday! I am SO ready for this week. I sat down last night and mapped out my workouts. I also made a plan for the food - so I'm ON IT.

I got up this morning right at 4:00AM (Yay!) with help from my workout partner. Ok - HE got out of bed right at 4:00AM and I drug my sorry ass out because he had. That's one of the many reasons I love him. He could do it a little LESS cheerfully, but hey - we can't all be perfect now can we?

On the way to the gym I already started to second guess my workout plan. "What if I burn out?" "Do I really want to get used to two cardio sessions a day?" "Am I overtraining". "Are my feet going to hold up to that much work?" I finally told that little doubting voice in my head to SHUT UP! and just went in there and DID it. I Figure I can try this for a week and that should give me enough info to see if I can continue next week. So far - so good.

Workout today was GREAT - I felt SO good!

I started with 20 minutes of HIIT - ran over 1.5 miles - then...

Chest day - whoop!

Flat Barbell Press(plus bar): 80 x 6 / 80 x 6 / 80 x 6

I'm doing a happy dance over that one! 80 lbs! I may reach my goal of 120 sooner then I thought!

Incline Dumbbell Press: 50 x 6 / 45 x 6 / 45 x 6

First of all let me say - WHOOP!!! I did 50 lbs - I did 50 lbs. *insert happy dance here* I probably could have done a second set but... After I finished the first set I thought I would 'save' myself the 'hassle' of picking those big ol' weights up again. So I sat and held them during my 'rest' period. Uh - it's a LOT of work to balance a pair of 50 lb dumbbells on the your knees for two whole minutes! By the time I tried to do the second set - I was TOAST.

Flye: 30 x 6 / 30 x 6 / 30 x 6

That's right - I went up on EVERY excercise! whooo! hooo!

Cable crunch: 190 x 15 / 195 x 15 / 195 x 15

Knee Lifts: 10 / 10

So I Totally wiped out my abs with the cable crunch - I couldn't even do LEG lifts after - I had to do knee lifts instead - whew!

Incline Crunchs: Highest Setting - 25 / 25

A little stretching and I was done! Now I just need add 30 minutes of steady state cardio (walking) to my day and *poof* I'm done!

Food will be lower in carbs today - need to 'clense' a bit after the BAD BAD weekend. By 'lower' I mean I'm going to try to get my carbs from all 'green' sources - Lots and LOTS of veggies. Wednesday I'll add some 'white' carbs back in - then back to green carbs every day except my free day.

Now I've got to go eat!

(wanted to note: weight today 205.5 - I expect to see progress by Friday!)

Friday, November 11, 2005

Whew! it took me two days but I think I got all you people linked over there...
I’m going to start with the ‘bad’ and get it out of the way.

The alarm went off at 4:00. I hit snooze a few times and then drug myself out of bed. You would think that going to bed at 8:40PM would make this easier. BAH. I flipped on a few lights – used the bathroom and then went back in the bedroom to kiss my honey awake. He woke up enough to tell me he didn’t want to go to the gym today! ? Since we commute together (and the gym is right next to where I catch the ferry – over 30 minutes from home) that meant _I_ couldn’t go to the gym.

Now – now that I’m awake and moving and stuff I realize what I SHOULD have done was put on my workout gear and went in the other room and gone for a run on my treadmill. But THAT thought didn’t occur to me at 4:15 AM (although now that I’ve thought of it I’m going to DO it next time he pulls this). Instead I walked through the house deliberately turning off each light and then crawled back into bed. The worse thing was that I wasn’t any more rested when I got up at 5:45 and he STILL didn’t want to get up so I ended up being late for work! BLEH!

Now for the good news:

Today’s my free day – so food is no issue. My abs are SORE from yesterday’s ab workout. This is awesome because DOMS in my abs is a rare occurrence.

And the BEST news?

I am currently sitting here wearing a size 14 pair of pants! Not just pants but JEANS and in a Misses size too (as apposed to 'Woman's size'). Now they don’t exactly ‘fit’. I’ve got a slight ‘muffin top’ going so no tight shirts – BUT The button, and zip and I can sit down in them and still breath. In July when I started BFL (for the second time this year) The size 16 pair of these same jeans fit in almost the same way. So I think I can HONESTLY say I’ve lost one pant size in four months. According to my scale at home – as of this morning I’ve lost exactly 0 lbs. That’s right – 0! Of course it also says that my body fat% has gone from 51% to 47% ?

Now – none of this is especially eye opening for me. I’m WELL aware that the scale is a Bitch. I know it’s not the BEST way to judge progress and hopefully someone else will look at this post one day and say – Ah Ha! The Scale’s a Bitch!

BUT – truth is I need to lose weight – SCALE weight. BITCH or not my feet don’t care what my body fat% is. It doesn’t care if the 205 (or 208 according to the home scale) pounds of weight they are carrying is fat, muscle, or rocks that I like to carry around in my pockets. They just know that it’s too heavy for the poor ligaments in them to support – so they hurt. Some days they throb. Some days I want to cry because it feels like someone has hit me on the heal with a hammer. I’m sure many of the problems with my hips are due to that excess weight as well.

Two years ago when I did BFL I didn’t have this problem losing weight. Heck you can even check back on my blog and see… I had started in July and By October I was down to 175! But I did what so many do – I skipped a workout here and there – my free day started sliding in to a free week and the next thing I know it’s two years later and I’m worse then when I started.

Then at the beginning of this year I decided to pull it all together. Only it was harder this time. The same effort didn’t seem to give the same results. About six weeks into it I finally started dropping and finally in April I had managed to get down to 191. Not great but it was happening.

But this time – this time it’s been even HARDER. Four months – four month with no discernable drop in scale weight – and I keep trying to figure out WTF is going on!

That being said – I think I know what’s going on here. I’ve lost my ‘newbie’ status. I’ve gotten past that point where my body can gain muscle and still lose copious amounts of fat. Basically – I’ve been unconsciously ‘bulking’. Something that up till now I’ve been able to do and still lose – or at least lose MORE fat then the amount of muscle I’ve been gaining.

It’s time to get serious. I know I’ve said this before – in fact I said it just a few days ago? But there are some things that life had to beat me over the head with before I ‘get’ it. Even when I say – yeah, I get it. But I’m really just saying that to get that little voice to shut up for a while. ?

I could continue to do what I’m doing and I WILL lose fat – albeit slowly. I’ll also change my body shape. BUT – I will NOT lose scale weight. And even though she’s a Bitch – I still have some goals that revolve around what that SCALE says.

So – my goal for the remainder of this month is to MAINTAIN my muscle – and lose the FAT.

This weekend I’ll be taking ANOTHER look at BFFM. I’m going to pack a second workout bag so that I can take it to work. My new haircut was the first step to being able to workout at lunch time. Next step is to have the clothes. From now until the end of November I will spend my lunch doing EXTRA (LISS) cardio. I’ll leave my morning workouts as they are (Running for miles via my training plan and MAX-OT for weights).

Food – well this is my biggest issue. I have NO TIME. But I used to say I would NEVER be able to get up at 4:00AM and workout either and I’m doing that. I’m going to have to do a LOT of planning this weekend – and I’m going to be starting a list of foods to prepare so that I have things ready for the week. Cooking up Chicken – Pancakes etc. I’m also going to do some High/Low Carb cycling cause I KNOW my body loves Low carb. Seriously! I always drop weight that way.

Hang onto your hats people – I’m getting my 1000th wind and I’m ready to sprint for the finish again!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I have pictures!

In case you all forgot what I looked like... Here you go:

Pretty sexy eh? No - not really... and now I give you the 'transormed' me:

What do you think? does it suit me?

How about now?

Does it go with my muscles?

So - my 'blends' honestly - did I do the right thing?
Ladies and Yentlemen....

To anyone who's ever struggled to overcome your fears - and your self imposed limitations I suggest you read THIS BLOG ENTRY

Carol just finished running the New York City Marathon and her description of it is uplifting and inspiring - please drop by and give her the 'atta boy' she deserves!
First of all I want to thank ALL of you for all your support. I’ve certainly needed it. Having only lost 4 lbs since July… that’s right 4 lbs in four months has really done a number on my resolve. I really thought that joining the gym and being consistent would make a tremendous difference, but – it hasn’t. I struggle not to give up. I look for every small victory I can to keep myself going and not fall face first into a bowl of hot fudge. And sometimes I still fall. But I keep picking myself up. My body can’t resist me forever. Knowing there are others out there rooting me on does a lot to bolster my resolve and I really appreciate it.

That being said… I woke up yesterday at the normal 4:00AM and poked the fiancé. He muttered something about being sick and ‘not going in’. So, I rolled back over and fell back asleep. I woke back up at 5:45 with a horrible headache. I got up, showered, but by the time I was done showering my head hurt so bad I thought I was going to be sick. So I crawled back in bed and stayed home with my sweetie. Didn’t get back out of bed until 11:00AM. Guess I needed it. I did manage to eat fairly well all day even though a few times I thought my stomach was going to rebel. By 2:00PM I could at least walk around and the ibeprophen I had taken seemed to have taken MOST of the edge off. I had a hair appointment at 4:00 and did NOT want to miss it so I jumped in the car and made the trip.

As many of you know I’m a HUGE fan of Maggie Diubaldo Since I don’t yet have her body – I settled for having her hair. I went to the hair dresser and told her – I want THAT cut. She looked at it for a few minutes – futzed with my hair a bit and then said – alright let’s do it!

Let’s just say I LOVE it! (Yes I’ll share pictures – maybe tonight). My hairdresser did an excellent job of taking the style and making it MINE. It’s cute, it’s perky, it’s made me look younger. I’m on freaking cloud NINE.

So, this morning I got up at 4:00AM per usual. No headache YAY! It was also back day – Yay! Lol

Lat Pulldown: 110 x 6 / 115 x 6 / 115 x 6
Cable Row: 115 x 6 / 115 x 6 / 115 x 6
Bent Barbell Row (+ bar): 70 x 6 / 70 x 6

Then, because I had a LOT of time left I did some abs. I can now ‘crunch’ the weight stack on cable crunches! Whoop! When this layer of fat goes I’m going to have one TIGHT set of abs.

Cable Crunches: 190 x 15 / 190 x 15 / 190 x 15
Roman Chair Leg lifts: 10 / 10 (I think I need to find a better way to do these – my upper body gives out before my lower abs do…)
Incline crunches: 25 / 25

I then stretched out a ton. It felt SO good. When I sit in the “V” leg position I can bring my chest to each knee – and I’m about a fist’s length away from brining my chest to the floor on the middle. Whoop! I’ve also been doing the pigeon stretch for my hips and I think it’s making a big difference. Tonight I’ll do 30 minutes of LISS on the treadmill and that will round out my day.

With my new haircut and it’s ‘ease of styling’ I’m probably going to see about using the gym on my lunch hour. I can do a quick shampoo, finger comb it and head back to work with no problems.

Food today should be no problem. I’ve got all the basics I need here at work. Here’s to a new day!

Enjoy everyone!

PS: Jess - I would be HAPPY to be your twin. When are you coming to California so we can hang out?
Why is this NOT suprising?

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

Made it to the gym again today and in even better time then yesterday – yay! We’re starting to get our act together. This morning when the alarm went off I hit the light beside my bed instead of the snooze button. I didn’t get up immediately, but it did help.

So I hit the gym and jumped on the treadmill. 1.75 miles in 22 minutes – woo hoo! It felt good to be running and pushing myself.

Then it was time for shoulders:

I’ve got to go back and check my old logs – because I went WAY over what I had written down as my last military press number – weird.

Military Press (plus bar): 25 x 6 / 30 x 6 / 35 x 6
Arnold Press: 30 x 6 / 30 x 6
Lat Raise: 25 x 6 / 25 x 6
Upright Row: 60 x 6 / 60 x 6

After that I was ZONKED – BUT because I got such a nice early start I still had time left so I was able to stretch for 15 minutes. Perfect ending!

Food yesterday ended just fine and I’ve got everything I need to make today perfect as well. The only ‘rocky’ part is I’m going to lunch with a friend and will have to watch my portions while out – but I feel up for that.

In better news I was down to 204.6 today from 205.5 yesterday – bubuy water weight. Get ready to see me too the happy dance when I get to 203 AGAIN… and be ready to raise the roof when I FINALLY get back below 200. It’s going to happen!


I had to add that my fiance was approached by a guy in the locker room today. The guy asked "How do you do it?". Fiance asked, "Do what?". The guy replied, "Get your wife to get up so early in the morning and workout with you?"

The fiance explained that we support each other equily and that getting up and coming to the gym was something we BOTH worked on. That somedays _I_ was the one who got up both around and somedays HE was the one. The guy didn't seem to get the 'team effort' big and Fiance felt sad for him.

_I_ on the other had got a little miffed that the guy would ASSUME that it was Fiance who was the 'gym person' and I simply 'tagged along'. Hello!? are you BLIND!? _I_ am the one who shows up when he doesn't. He's got a sniffle, I'm still at the gym. He works late so he doesn't think he can workout that day - I'm still there. He wouldn't know an upright row from a squat if it wern't for me - BAH!

Monday, November 7, 2005

I'm bored - so I'm browsing. I found this and it CRACKED ME UP!

To the people at my gym

some of those folks got to MY gym, I swear.
Ok - I know this isn't fitness related, but I HAD to share this.

My company has been listed on How rad is that? Who knew that anyone cared enough about the little company I work for to post on a HUGE website like that?

Management just came out and said this wasn't true. And I'm in a position to say that it's HIGHLY unlikely that could be. We're currently HIRING for goodness sake and we've got more work then people to do it.

Still was nice to know someone knows who we are...
Again with the workout - what is up with me? heheheh.

I'm feeling GREAT. Last night I sat down and planned my workout's this week. In fact I planned my running schedule through the bay to breakers. It's going to be tough but I'm up for it.

So - the alarm went of at 4:00am and I got up. Fiance and I hit the gym as usual. It was arms and abs today - a long workout but I was determined to get it all done.

After a warm up:

Barbell Curl (total weight): 55 x 4 / 55 x 5
Dumbbell Single Arm curl: 25 x 6 / 25 x 6
Straight bar cable curl: 90 x 6

Tri Overhead Extension: 50 x 6 / 55 x 6
Tri Pushdown: 100 x 6 / 100 x 6
Tri Kickback: 25 x 6

Leg Lifts: 10/10
Cable Crunch: 170 x 15 / 180 x 15
Incline Crunches: Level 2 x 20 / Level 3 x 20

I also had time to do some good stretching.

I've already had two meals on plan and have the rest ready to go. I desided to plan ahead and bought a bunch of 'bulk' items and brought them here to work: Spinach, Yogurt, Lunch Meat. I've also got Protien Powder, Fat Free/Sugar Free Jello Powder, and Natural Peanut Butter sitting here from previous times so I have NO EXCUSE not to eat healthy hear at the office.

Last part of my plan that's going well... I've had litre of water already and plan to drink my gallon today. Water's usually the first part of my plan to go but I'm going to focus on it again this week and see if I can get myself hydrated. I WILL see progress this month!

Saturday, November 5, 2005

I'm on a roll now – yay! Hit the gym again today. At first I was just going to go and do a little cardio or a circuit or something – but once I got there I decided to go ahead and do my leg workout. After a warm up I hit the Iron. First was squats – as soon as I started warming up I decided that I was going to up the weight from last time – it just felt like one of those days. So I did – added 10 lbs.. whoop!

Squats: 150 x 6/ 150 x 6 / 150 x 6

Then I tried something new for the Leg press. I've been using the 'machine' you know with the weights on a track and you put the pin in. This time I tried – I guess it's the 'sled'. You sit and there is a platform above you and you load weights on the platform. I wasn't sure what weight I could do so I took it kind of easy – ended up not hitting my limit – so I'll have to go heavier next time:

Leg Press: 270 x 6 /360 x 7 / 410 x 7

When it came time for the Straight Legged Dead Lift – Again I thought it was time to up the weight so I did. Last time I did these I had grip issues – but I used an alternating grip and that seemed to solve the issue.

Dead Lift: 120 x 6 / 120 x 6

Standing Calves – I tried the first set at my normal weight and it was WAY too easy – so I had to up that weight too!

Standing Calves: 155 x 6 / 215 x 6

First time on the next machine too – and trying to find the right weight.

45% Calf raise: 90 x 6 / 180 x 6

Then I went over and tried the rowing machine for the first time. WHAT a blast! In 10 minutes I had burned 100 calories and I felt completely wiped out – I love it!

Tomorrow I'm planning to take full advantage of my rest day – next week I start training for the Run to the Far Side on Thanksgiving weekend – its only three weeks away.

Oh – and I picked up another container of No-xplode. I really liked the way I felt when I was taking it – so I decided to splurge and go for it again.

Friday, November 4, 2005

PS Cristie... I WIN!
Today was a first for me - I finally got to meet another BFL blogger! Hi Cristie!

We met, had lunch and had a GREAT time. For those of you who know her - she's even more fun in person - neener. The best part was when we sat down to lunch, looked at the menu and she said "I'm not eating BFL today". I went "Whew! cause I really would like a Patty Melt". A little good food and a good company goes a LONG way. I can't wait to do it again.

To top it all off I managed to get out of bed at 4:00AM today. Ok, well _I_ didn't. The alarm went off and my fiance got up and turned on the light. I love that man!

After a warm up I did chest - I Love chest day almost as much as my honey...

The workout:

Flat Bench Press (+ bar): 60 x 6/70 x 6/70 x 6
Incline Dumbbell Press: 45 x 6/45 x 6/45 x 6
Flye: 25 x 6/25 x 6

Then because I had extra time I did some abs

Cable Crunch: 130 x 15/150 x 15/150 x 15
Roman Chair Leg Lifts: 10 & 10

I did my cardio last night too so I'm on a roll! 20 minutes of interval training - Incline from 1.5% to 3% @ 4.3 MPR. It felt fantastic.

Also - Irene from muscletank mentioned the bay to breakers race and that got me thinking. It's a 12K on May 21st. I'm happier doing my cardio when I'm training for something. I've got PLEANTY of time to train for a 12K so .. I'm doing it. THEN my honey mentioned that they are bringing back the run for the far side. It has a 5K division on Thanksgiving weekend. I thought to myself - why not! So I think I'm going to do that one too! I'm so excited and feeling ON FIRE. Thanks Irene.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

I overslept this morning.

Ok - that implies that I had little control over the situation. truth is, the alarm went off - I shook my fiance awake. He didn't stir so I rolled over and fell back asleep. BAH! What I should of done - what I WILL do from now on is hop out of bed and turn on the light.

We talked about it - I told him how dissapointed I was in myself and he's going to work on waking up better. I MISS the gym!

I'll cardio tonight at least and hit the gym tomorrow. I WON'T miss two days in a row.

Eats are on plan and planned. I had poached eggs for breakfast, ricotta cheese for 2nd breakfast and I have planned spinach salad for lunch, PB shake for tea - Protien shake for meal 5 and turkey burgers for dinner.

Yesterday's run was GREAT. I haven't worked that hard on a treadmill in ages it seems. I forgot how much harder it was to run on my treadmill that won't go lower then 1.5% then the gym treadmills that start at 0%. WAY harder. I certainly hit a 10 on that one!

Now confession time. I've been finding myself getting worried lately. Worried about looking like a man. Now - before you start yelling at me about weights and not getting bulky etc... it's not about THAT. Well, it is - sorta, but not in the way you might think. It's more about my face shape, and now weight lifting will effect it. I have a VERY strong square jaw. those of you who've seen picture probably know what I mean - everyone else think carrie-ann moss - without the pointy chin. Actually better yet, think Christopher Reeve - before the accident. My 'fluff' does soften it a little, but even at 230 lbs I still had a VERY strong jaw. As I lose it just gets 'worse'. Add on top of that that I'm building muscle and I start to get REALLY worried about what I'm going to look like in a few months. Yes - I'm borderline 'scary-strong' but I'm still all girl at heart.

Ah well - I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Just one of those bizzaro thoughts that cross my brain while I battle with the 'blotto' the deamon of fat. He whispers all sorts of negative things in my ear. I just have to remind myself that I can sit here and WONDER if I'll like myself all fit and tone and sexy and stuff or do it and KNOW. And if I don't like it, I can always change back! hehehe

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Well, I did it. After an extended 'break' (I haven't worked out since Thursday) I made it back to the gym today. Granted I had a hard time dragging myself out of bed and didn't get up until 4:30 instead of 4:00 but I got up - I went - I pushed iron around. I feel good!

Because of the time shortage I had to cut my workout short - of course if you give me a choice of something to cut I'll always pick cardio. I should probably change that. I WILL do some cardio tonight when I get home. AND I'll go for a brisk walk at lunch. I need to start using the time I have wisely.

Today's workout - Back:

Lat Pulldown: 110 x 6/110 x 6/110 x 6
Cable Row: 105 x 6/ 105 x 6
Bent Row (+ Bar): 60 x 6/60 x 6

Still to do: 20 Min HIIT

exercise for the month on November - still doing Max-OT for weights - LOVE LOVE LOVE the program. Still going to do 20 Min HIIT five days a week adding 45-60 min of LISS cardio three days a week.

Food has gotten off to a good start. For the month of November I'm going to try for a few less 'whitish' carbs. More green veggies, and 'some' dairy (like cheeses, and yogurt) but lighten up on the rice, pasta and bread. I'm still going to have one free day per week though

today's meal plan:

4:30 AM - two eggs poached (done)
8:00 AM - protein Shake (done)
10:00 AM - Yogurt & PP
1:00 PM - Spinach Salad w/chicken and nuts
4:00 PM - PB shake
8:00 PM - Lean Tacos w/salad

Mentally, I've been struggling the past few days. I've decided it was time to give myself a little talking to. Here's what I said.


It's time to ask yourself what you really want. Do you want to remain one of those people who sit around on the fitness boards, forever complaining about the lack of results while not doing all it takes to make those results happen, or do you want to be a success story? Yes, there are days that are hard. But you've proven that you are a strong person before. You can do it again.

Some days I really wish I could be 'normal'. Not always be thinking about when and what I'll be eating, not be getting up at 4:00AM to go to the gym and then worry over what sort of workout I'll do and weather or not it will give me results.

But then I look around at all the 'normal' people and think - I don't want to be that! Overweight, tired and unhealthy.

but somedays I have to remind myself WHY you go to extraordinary means. I want extraordinary results.

For me this means being 'right on' with my nutrition. I can't 'play it by ear' I can't assume I'm doing OK. I have to plan it, I have to track it - period. It also means getting up at 4:00 AM on weekdays. It means being ready the night before so I can jump in the car and head out so that I can get to the gym in time to do my 20 minutes of cardio AND have time to do the weight workout that I LOVE. It means that when I HAVE to make a choice that I choose the cardio. It means carving another hour out of my day 2 days a week- even though I don't get home until 7:00PM to do additional cardio. This fat of mine is stubborn - I have to prove that I am MORE stubborn.

The gloves are off!

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

OMG - I had SO MUCH fun last night. My friend and I went (in costume) to a karaoke bar near the Castro District in San Francisco. It was nice to let my hair down - and I haven't had that much fun in YEARS. Best of all it's completely refreshed me and remotivated me. I'm ready to head into this holiday season - drop some fat and enjoy my second most favorite time of the year! (summer is my favorite - but I LOVE the holiday season)
Now to start planning thanksgiving.

More photos here: