Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A few days ago I was thrilled to find out that the girls at work had decided to go 'formal' to the company Christmas Party. It meant I was finally going to get another use out of the BEAUTIFUL Christmas formal hanging in the back of my closet. Last night I pulled it out to assess what needed to be done to it for it to be wearable. It still looked great – a little steam ironing and it would be ready to go. In happy anticipation I slid out of my PJ top and pulled the dress over my head. It still fell as beautifully as ever over my hips artfully camouflaging my ‘bulk’ with tulle. I started zipping and then… Stopped. About 1.5 inches from the top of the zipper, there was no going any higher. My ‘lats’ (ok back fat) and bust line were not going to let it happen. I wanted to cry. Heck I STILL want to cry. Actually I want to cuss and throw things! I Swear to you, right here and now, that dress will NOT fit next year either – it will be too big! Arrrrrrrrrrrg!

So now I have to go dress shopping. An endeavor sure to have me at wits end within the first five minutes. Please – be thinking of me :P

Yesterday was ‘OK’. I did alright on food but could have made better choices a few times. Then we got home. Yesterday in my evaluation of the pitfalls that lay before me I forgot one thing. Sitting so innocently on my kitchen counter was a freshly baked Danish Pastry. Somehow my fiancé and justified eating THE ENTIRE THING by saying – hey we’ll finish it so that it won’t temp us the rest of the week. Yeah. Too bad I tried on the dress AFTER.

The good news is I made myself get out of bed this morning and hit the gym. Seriously MADE myself. I hit the snooze button twice. The fiancé didn’t even stir either time. I could have turned off the alarm and no one would be the wiser. I finally got up, did my stumble to the bathroom and started moving around. Still no stirring from the fiancé. I went back into the bed room and kissed him awake. It took awhile. I kept expecting him to ask to sleep in. He didn’t, so I made it to the gym.

Once at the gym I did cardio. Yeah – only cardio. It was weird, it felt… incomplete. And I REALLY didn’t want to do it. I felt so tired! But I got on and started that little ‘trick’ that I do to ‘fool’ myself into doing something. It started out with, “Just do the warm-up, 5 minutes, that’s all” Then it was, “See that wasn’t so bad, push it to 4mpr, just for a minute, you can stop after a minute if it’s too hard.” And so on. It never got ‘too hard’. Total mileage including the 5 minute warm up and cool down: 2.5miles. Total time: 35:45.

So cardio is done. I actually packed my lunch today – so that’s all set. I found out yesterday that salads just weren’t going to cut it when it’s cold and rainy outside. My brain started saying, “Must have warm food!” So today I planned and brought in stuff I can quickly heat in the microwave.

Best news so far? Down 1 lb as of today (204.8). The weekend ‘bloat’ is falling off already YAY!


  1. WTG on doing the cardio even tho you didn't want to do it...Keep up the good work, be patient and just take one day at a time..before you know it you will be in the 100's..a great feeling!!!

    I have the same problem with salads in the winter but there are alot of great recipes for soups out there and they really hit the spot on a cold day...you can make a pot of soup on the weakends then freeze them in individual bowls with lids so all you have to do is grab one in the morning to take to work then pop it in the microwave at lunch.. Too Good..

  2. Ugh. I know how you feel. I have to go dress shopping for the company Christmas party too. I hate clothes shopping. I hate dress shopping the most. Maybe we'll both luck out and find something in the first 5 minutes of shopping! ;)

  3. Hey, great job getting that cardio done.Now, what are you going to do if the only thing you can find is that orange wooly jumper for your party?

  4. I know how you feel, been going through the same struggles lately. My "fat" clothes are way too big, and my older clothes are still too small, and shopping is still a mental struggle. Think I'm doing great till I get in the darn fitting room, then almost want to cry! Sounds like you used that as your determination! That's GREAT! Turn it around baby! You CAN do it!

  5. I understand about the dress thing. I feel as if I will never be able to fit into my smaller clothes. But we must persevere and be strong and one day we will do it! TOM is visiting me and I feel so unmotivated right now. I need to just get my butt moving and back to it. We can do it!

  6. I hear ya on the dress thing. I remember at one point in time I felt like I was really shrinking..I swear I could feel the fat melting off. So with my confidence bolstered I went to try on my skinny jeans from a few years ago. Not even close...still miles too small. Sometimes it feels like we'll never get there. But I KNOW we will. Channel the disappointment into your workouts...I find that sometimes helps me. Get mad at the dress and kick some dress butt!!!

  7. btw...your dad sounds really cool.


  8. Slem - Thanks for the tip on the soups - I may just try that this weekend.

    zooman - I already have the shoes for it! *wink*