Weekly Update

Well I saw progress this week, but it wasn't what I had hoped or expected. 1.6 lbs down though, I'll take that. Average weight for the week was 233.5 - I'll look for that to go down next week as that's actually the most important number in my mind. Excercise was... well, not up to par. A Weight workout on Friday, a bike ride on Saturday and a run on Wednesday. I can do more. Mentally I felt great - really kept my focus and felt like I was staying the course - this is A#1 the most important part of this.

I haven't got much to update you with.... I'm really just trying to get back into the habit of blogging. It was good for me when I was doing it regularly. Anyway, food is still on track, and last night I started on the first day to 5K program from Podrunner Intervals. It's not the first time I've started this program, but to my knowledge, I've never finished it. I've always managed to get distracted by some other program 1/2 way through. So, the goal this time is to finish it - no matter what. I did the first week's workout last night WEEK 1 20 minutes from 128 to 142 BPM BPM CHART: 5-minute warmup @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 95 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 95 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 90 seconds @ 128 BPM 60 seconds @ 142 BPM 95 seconds @ 128 BPM 65 seconds @ 142 BPM 3-minute cooldown @ 128 BPM (BPM is the music speed for each section). and it was reletively easy. I had no problem holding a sub 12 min/mile for the 60 second runs. Felt good, felt strong. My chest was a little tight after, it felt like my asthma was acting up, but that's normal for me when getting back into arobic workouts. The run, plus the cold air, plus my fall allergies were all adding to the overall 'bleh' effect. But I was proud of myself for running. got almost 1.75 miles done in the 28 minutes for a pace of 16:06. That'll get better over time (of course). Weight - well my body is being a little stubborn which is a little frustrating. I don't know if it's that my body is so sick of my yo-yoing that it's going to hold onto every pound, or if it's because I'm older and it's holding onto every pound, or if it's just timing (month wise) My cycle is always so strange that even though I've started tracking in software I still have no idea when to expect it - best guess is that it could be a combination of all of the above that's got me cussing at the scale every morning. But, if it's one thing I've learned over the years it's intellegent percistance. I can't let the number on the scale define me, and I can't let a small stall (even if it is in the first week) discourage me. If I stick with it, the loss will come! Oh-and one other thing to note. I've been 'shouting down' the feast beast a lot lately. He's really confused I can tell. For example, I see a Chevron, think about going inside (maybe for something to drink) and he immediatly says, "Yay! Treats!" Then starts flashing images of sweets that'll be inside, and reminding me of the taste of each one. Before he can even get ramped up though, I scream (in my head) SHUT UP! I almost want to laugh because that 'inner voice' the 'adictive voice' is so used to getting it's way with just that simple technique that it doesn't know what to do and it goes dead silent. I know over time he'll probably try to get more tricky, but for now this technique is working and I love it!

Self Discipline and Patience

"Discipline" is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody standing over you with a stick, telling you that you're wrong. But self-discipline is different. It's the skill of seeing through the hollow shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret. They have no power over you. It's all a show, a deception. Your urges scream and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten; but they really carry no stick at all. You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this lesson, though. The words on this page won't do it. But look within and watch the stuff coming up — restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain — just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away. As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.
— Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English" from Everyday Mind, edited by Jean Smith, a Tricycle book Mindfulness in Plain English: 20th Anniversary Edition

Made it!

I said I would be back, and here I am!

2011 has been a pretty good year for me.  Started a new job at the end of 2010 that got me another new job (and a raise).  I'm pretty happy where I am right now.  The low levels of stress are exactly what I need.

Hubby and I worked through a really awful money situation and now are up on our feet and feeling pretty solid.

My son moved in with me 'just for the summer' and now has decided he would like to stay rather then take out more student loans.  So, I'm getting to spend quality time with my kiddo (who I was estranged from for a number of years) as well as have an excuse to move into to a larger and very lovely home.

I'm involved in choir again - singing with a group is always fun!

I've met and gotten involved with some really awesome people who I now consider friends -- It's great to feel 'connected' with a group of people again, plus I've been staying in closer contact with 'old' friends and reconnecting with family members that's made me feel like a more well rounded person overall.

The only thing that hasn't gotten better this year has been my weight/health.  Maybe it's because I was so focused on getting the rest of my life in line.  But now I feel ready to focus on this.

My plan is about 25% diet, 25% exercise and at least 50% getting my 'mind' fixed.  I've been focusing a lot on cognitive therapy, Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy and other 'self help' type programs/books to get myself ready for action. And people, I AM ready for action.

Started working the plan on Friday, just like I said I would.  I even took a trip to the gym so I could do a leg workout.  I wasn't enjoying the workout much at first.  Seeing myself in mirrors on every side wasn't doing much for my mood but then I had a guy come up to me and compliment my 'short hair' (told me I Rocked it).  I stuck to my plan for the entire day/night and really felt good about it - woke up the next morning to a HUGE drop on the scale (that I think now was because I was dehydrated (duh).

Saturday - I stayed (pretty much) on plan as well.  Ate a big breakfast of eggs and bacon and then stuck to my meal replacement foods for the rest of the day.  I didn't eat anything at the bike festival we went to and even skipped eating at the restaurant that night because I had already had my meal.  However, I did have a beer at the festival and a Long Island Iced Tea at the restaurant.  Later, at karaoke I had several more drinks and then had some cookies at jack in the box at 2 in the morning on my way home.  Lesson learned is that I need a better strategy for going out.  Less booze and less 'slipping' after drinking.

Sunday I was up early and went to a Halloween festival with my daughter.  Had an excellent day, ate a huge salad when we stopped at the sandwich place and had grilled chicken when we stopped at Jack in the Box. Didn't drink anything and stuck 100% to my plan - whoop whoop!

Monday was good again - didn't get back to the gym as I had planned but I did stick 100% to my food plan.  Even avoided all the crap food they had laid out at choir.  there's always cake, cookies, chips and the like.  I just avoided going into the 'snack room' at all.  Was a good strategy for me.  Instead I sat and read through my 'reasons to lose weight' cards.

Today, I still don't have a solid workout plan in place.  My legs are only just now starting to recover from Friday's leg workout.  I want to get back into triathlons so I need to make time for running/biking/swimming (BTW - hubby and I biked to and from the festival on Saturday).  I also love to lift weights and really enjoy looking and feeling strong.  I just need to set myself a schedule for doing those things and stick to it.  I have more then enough access to gyms!

But to pull this back to the positive - food has been good - my head is in an excellent place right now.  This is a long term project, I know and every positive step is a good one.

And then....

She started again.

Focus and determination is high. I have a plan of action. It's HUGE! :) starting on Friday because I have Friday and Monday off so I can get over the 'diet tired at home.

I'm going to update here with more details in the next day or so... Look for activity progress and more insight in the days to come.