The world has lost its collective mind...I recognize that.  But I can't change the world (yet) so I continue to focus on what I can change, what I can improve... me. 

Me - that's what this blog is about, and that's what it will continue to be about.  This won't be about pandemic or politics - though sometimes how those things bring up thoughts for me that I need to work though will be addressed.  But, know, my goal is to keep this about me, my weightloss and how I work through the process to ultimately reach my weight loss goal. And improve my mind and health in the process.

So, where am I? 

Last March I was hanging out at the highest weight of my life.  (290's) then I got an email from a weight loss program I had heard about.  I said F it, paid the money and signed up!  I became part of the PNP (Phit N Phat) tribe

This isn't a food list - it isn't an exercise program - there are no diet rules, no explanation of what you should or shouldn't be eating.  It's about selecting your own food protocol and then dealing with the mental bullshit that keeps you from following it.

Like with any new program, there was a honeymoon period -- and then there was some rough times but I've felt positive that I've found a system that I'll be using for my entire life.  I lost 50 pounds last year with almost no drama and was feeling really good about my future.

2020 started, and there was no sweeping resolution diet to start.  I was already on the program that I was going to keep and follow for life... Jan and Feb were more of the same, slow but streaky weight loss.  March I made some minor changes and I lost a little more that month, and then the end of March and the pandemic hit... my circumstances changed and I found a whole new set of thoughts to deal with that I hadn't dealt before.  I needed to learn what it meant to lose weight in this new environment... I've been a slow learner.

Between March 15 and and May 25th I've gained 22 pounds back.

But, I never stopped working, never stopped listening to my thoughts, never stopped looking at the data!  It's not like I sat around for two and a half months and went suddenly went 'where did that weight come from!?'  I saw the results of my over eating and over drinking every morning when I stepped on the scale.   There were times when I wasn't ready to 'work' and I acknowledged that.  times when I felt the need for comfort and allowed that I was trying to do that through food.  There were times when I knew I was trying to numb out (or at least entertain myself) by pouring a drink (or two or three...). I didn't ever do that and try to convince myself 'this doesn't matter'.  Every choice mattered, and I'm proud of that fact.

Now though -- I'm ready to make other choices.  I'm ready to make choices that support my future self as well as my right now self.  I'm willing to see beyond 'This hurts, let's take an aspirin' to.. 'maybe it's time to stop hitting my head on the wall...' 

Last week was the start.  It wasn't a perfect week.  It wasn't even close.  Heck I don't even know that a perfect week exists in my mind any more.  What it was though, was a 'better then the weeks before' week.  I lost 2.78 pounds.  And while the 'mean girl' in my brain wants to minimize that - wants to remind me of the weight I allowed myself to gain all the weeks before - I refuse to listen to her.  I'm going to take the wins from last week and repeat them.  I'm going to look for my lessons learned, and... learn from them.  I'm going to show up for myself every day and face each day as it comes to me, cause I'm a "No BS" woman, who's scary strong, sexy AF, loves her life and practices excellent self care.

What does this look like in action? It means:

• Writing a plan every day. 
• Set an alarm for every evening that is journaling and planning time.
• Bring my ipad downstairs in the evening so I don't have the excuse of 'being in the middle of something else' 
• Assessing that plan every day and action on lessons learned
• See 'alarm' and ipad note above
• Write a discovery worksheet for EVERY off plan and/or overeat
• Every discovery worksheet = one new 'action' 
• Drinking all the water I need every day
• 1 pnt upon waking up
• 1 qt mid morning
• 1 qt w/lunch
• 1 qt w/dinner
• 1pnt at journel time 
• Sleeping as much as I need every day (aim at 7 hours min)
• Weeknights - set an alarm 30 minutes before 'bed time' to start the evening routine
• Checking in with my accountability groups as least once a day
• check-in is part of my 30 min before bedtime evening routine
• if I miss the night before check-in is part of my am routine
• Working on mindset at least 5x a week
• Read 'new thoughts' flashcards
• 30 minutes of active reading (see alarm/ipad note above)
• One intentional model per 'session' 
• Put 1 'new thought' on a post it on the computer each day (add to morning routine)
• Keeping my body strong, clean and looking it's best each day
• develop an 'at home' strength routine I can practice daily (this may take some tweaking - but, 'I can't go to the gym' and other non-helpful thoughts are no longer valid
• Shower daily (even if it's right before bed)
• Get dressed in clothes I would wear to the office every weekday.  I did this in April and it helped my mental state a LOT
• Continue to participate in Aloha Friday!