Super Nerd Alert... and really just me restating my post from yesterday

In my profession there is a system of practices and disciples documented by an organization called ITIL called Service Support.

Within that are two major processes “Incident Management” and “Problem Management” and today I saw a correlation between these two and my weight loss journey (weird I know! - but it’s not the first time I’ve found this kind of correlation)

ITIL incident management (IM) is the practice of restoring services as quickly as possible after an incident, and it’s a reactive process. It’s used to ‘restore service’ and is not proactive in measure. However, you do plan your response to incidents so you can address them quickly and efficiently.

ITIL Problem Management is to identify the cause of a service issue and commission corrective work to prevent recurrences. This process is both reactive and proactive - reactive in solving problems in response to incidents (se above), and proactive in identifying and solving potential incidents before they occur.

“So what does this have to do with weight loss!?” I hear you say!

Well, it came to me recently I can also divide the thought work needed for weight loss (or really any goal) into two types.

There is Incident Management. The way I handle thoughts/circumstances or anything that might cause me to act in a way contrary to my goals. It’s how I handle that thing, right there, in that moment. AKA Urges

Incident management it broken down into several steps some of which are:

Detecting and recording incident details: or as Corrine calls it “Noticing” the urge thought.

Matching incidents against known problems: Is this a thought we’ve worked on before - or are the circumstances around that thought something we are working on currently? Can we use this info to resolve the incident quickly? Is this a “normal” thought for me?

Resolving incidents as quickly as possible: What something I can think quickly that can “Neutralize” the sabotaging thoughts?

All of this about neutralizing the urge and getting past it ASAP

Now Problem Management is a similar but related program that is focused on the ROOT CAUSE of those sabotaging thoughts and how we can prevent them in the future.

This is all about the TFD cycle - the daily journaling and figuring out how to think different and feel different and change life LONG TERM.

I realized that I’m really good at problem management. I’m a thought ninja. Been working on ‘the model’, as we used to call it, since the early 2000’s Give me a TFD cycle and I’m gunna own that MFer.

I would go to camp and we would look at all the places that could trip people up ‘relationships, self worth, body image and more’ and none of them resinated with me. But what I struggled with and didn’t realize was a different issue - issue management and now that I know… it feels like finally the place I need to work is clear and I feel like I have a TRUE path to success at last.

 I think I had an epiphany last night. At least it felt like one at about Midnight right before falling asleep.

Between the thought work I've been digging into lately and the reading I was doing last night something just CLICKED. It feels like something I've been on the edge of for quite some time now and my brain finally 'got' it.

I was reading through my 'whys' (I've been adding that to my daily habits) when I came on the card that says "Get great at self control". And this little voice whispered "Self control just means talking to yourself right..."

I kind of did a mental double take... I mean... is it? really?

Yeah! it is!

I knew the way to reach my goals wasn't through will power. That white knuckle feeling of tension; of holding back or pushing forward that eventually gets exhausted. But for a LONG time I've been thinking the opposite of that was just to tell myself "NO!" or "Do it!" and meaning it. But that felt wrong too! All too often that was just a reason for my inner rebel to flip off the world and go eat a whole plate of cookies.

But last night I realized it's easier then that...(and this sounds so simple) but it really is talking to yourself in a way that makes the goal choice as attractive or more attractive than the non-goal choice. Or even just realizing there is a choice in the first place. Self control isn't a "No! because I said so" thing it's a "We could do that, but we could also...." thing.

It's using conjunctions. It's realizing that a thought, an urge a whatever doesn't have to end at the 'urge thought' but can be extended into a choice with "ifs, ands and buts"

Part of this realization came because I have been practicing this with my workouts adding a "And I'm getting stronger every day" to "I'm so out of shape". Not stopping at "I don't want to get up I'm so tired" but adding "But I'm going to, because I'm going to feel so much better in a few minutes"

I've been countering urges to impulse spend that start with "I want that!" by adding "But I want the freedom of being debt free more!"

An urge to drink last night that sounded like "It'll make the game more fun..." got the addendum of "But it'll also make me sleepy and the game harder to enjoy later"

This feels SO MUCH BETTER then what I was doing before! Before I was "Saying 'no' harder" or trying to just eliminate the urges in the first place. But that isn't self control! Self control is learning to 'control' myself and it doesn't have to be hard or feel like I'm constantly repressing or trying to eliminate a part of me. It means joining up with that part of me.. speaking to it in a language it understands and reminding it that we're on the same side!

And this is getting really woo woo I know.. but I feel like a new person suddenly!