As if a trip abroad wasn't enough stress - we've got 66 hours until we leave and the freezer in the garage just went out!!  stressing out trying to find another before our plane takes off!

Had to go through some boxes of old clothes - it reminder me how little I used to be; how small I could be if I just applied myself! Vacation first - then working toward a new body as soon as we get back.

The days are currently filled with planning for my vacation - I'm looking forward to the food as much as anything.  The good news is I weigh less leaving for this vacation then I did when we went to Germany last year.  I fit into clothes that I wore two years ago when we went to Stockholm - and that's brought my spirits up.  What I've been doing this year has made a difference.  Now to see if I can continue that into 2018.

The holiday is over - and yet it isn’t. The food remains!  I was thinking of going back to the gym tomorrow, but then I realized how much it would suck if I hurt myself right before going on vacation. So I may wait until I get back.

Or maybe I’m just making an excuse.

Day after fat day. I don’t feel too bad. We’ll see what the scale says

It’s the day!! Eat all the food!

I’ve done nearly all the prep work I can do! 5 pies, 9 loads of bread plus a batch of rolls (some bread already used for stuffing) four dips, 18 eggs made deviled, crackers baked, mashed potatoes ready to be baked tomorrow as are two kinds of dressing, asparagus casserole, and green bean casserole - plus the turkey and the duck are being brined. Oh and the cranberry sauce is done.

Tomorrow it’s cook the meat, make the soups and bake all the sides - easy! ;)

I give up! Between the stress of cooking and the need to taste test everything I’m making weight loss just isn’t happening right now. Thwre’s No way I’m going to hit my goal by the time we leave for Germany!

Blah. Holidays have me completely off track!

Working on loosing weight during the holiday season is really hard.  I can't seem to put the effort and focus I need to when I've got so much going on.  Still going to try to hit the gym tomorrow - and then it's off to the store and starting thanksgiving dinner cooking.

This is hard!

Woke up this AM 4 pounds heavier then yesterday. Then I fell apart - food was terrible. I now feel sick and bloated. I want to to say fuckit. But I won’t.

today's been better

I've been logging daily for a week now - it hasn't made my food perfect, but has at least made me more aware.  Today went much much better then the day before.  Goal is to be 259 by the time we leave for Germany on Dec 3rd.  I was 263 this am.  I wish stick with it - stay focused and reach this short term goal.

still struggling

still not losing.  I'm not staying consistent.  I know all I need to do is say 'no' to the crap food, but it never seems to be that easy.

I want to be less than 260 when we go to Germany - that's just 6 lbs.  But man have I struggled to drop those 6 pounds!!

*sigh* I need to focus and stop fluffin' around.

I'm not blogging and wow! amazing! I'm not losing.  Been off track soo much lately.  Only good thing is I'm not gaining.  Trying to refocus for November but it's not easy!  So much going on, like holidays and a wedding!

Son is getting married Saturday

Oh and I'm putting in my resignation for a job I hate today.  Been here over two years and hated almost every day...

Feeling so much better right now!