Hello and good morning!  apparently I haven't 100% figured out the 'how to lose weight while in Chicago' (traveling) thing.  There's still room to level up so I'm not upset about it - just more curious than anything.  I guess I'm a little bummed that It wasn't as simple as cooking in my room.  to be fair, even though I wasn't eating out I was still eating some things I don't have when home... so, as I said, room to level up and I go back in two weeks so... I get to try again

This week I'm going to Phat camp.  I 'think' I've managed to get over most of my 'fear' for the weekend.  Ready to relax and just see what the event brings.  I'll have the experience I was meant to have.   In other news I've decided it's time to really get serious about triathlon training again.. so I SHOULD be running 3 days a week - doing some biking 3x a week as well as some cross training.  10 years ago I was doing tris nearly every weekend and loving it.  I want to get back to that habit. I also didn't order any prepped meals this week so I'm going to spend more time cooking then I normally do - because of that I spent more time doing weekly planning then normal.  Im going to give this a try and see how it goes.  I expect I'll be back to at least a few prepped foods - but maybe not every night like I've been doing.  We'll see it's all just my n=1 experiment.

So, gained 3.5 pounds this week.  Wasn't a perfect week - wasn't even an 'almost' perfect week - but I plan to learn all I can from it.  I have reinforced that I need to work on a better system for planning on the weekends and for even more structure around Chicago visits.  I have a few ideas to try - one of which included writing a more specific weekly plan that I fall back on if I don't write a daily plan for that day.  I've also been feeling better about pushing a little into 'uncomfortable' some days.  I'm not talking about being HUNGRY... but about saying 'no' do extra carbs - drinks etc.  I think a lot about making weight loss easy and honestly it DOES get a lot easier when I'm not funking up my blood sugar with carb bombs.  ((mentally it can get 'harder' but we all know how to handle the mental stuff right?)) What's held me back from falling into this full force is my determination to  'lose it like I'll live it" and I haven't been able to get past this block of 'what if I never had a piece of bread again" (sounds extreme but it's the kind of thing I need to answer if I want ANY change to be a lifetime change) I've been thinking and writing about this almost daily and feeling closer and closer to making a 'shift'  I've at least gotten to the point that my wild child doesn't have a FIT every time I think that thought... as I said, progress.  In truth, low carb here at home is pretty easy.  I just don't bring that kind of stuff into the house much.  But it's when I go out - other peoples homes, restaurants, to Chicago that stuff starts to find its way into my daily eating.  Do I want to live the rest of my life eating salads 3x a day? NO - but can I start to picture myself eating bread and sugar no more than 1x a week... maybe... working on it. :D . In the meanwhile I'll keep planning daily, and trying small level-ups.

Hi blog...

How's it going?

Where have I been?  Well I've been out finding myself I suppose

At the end of last year I found myself once again at 295 lbs!  I got determined, focused all the 'things' and lost a little, gained a little and basically found myself in the same place (292) at the first of April. 

Then I got an email... the "PNP Tribe" was opening up - would I like to join?

I had seen the adverts and even signed up for a newsletter but had never listened to the podcast or read any of her stuff.  What I knew was:

1. Corinne had lost 100 lbs 10 years ago and kept it off!
2. She was all about losing how you live - no batshit crazy diet plan
3. She cussed...
4. She was affiliated with Brooke Castillo - who I had worked with in the past and appreciated her approach

So, I said "what the hell" and gave her some of my money.

What an amazing six months it's been since!!  I lost my job, totaled the car I got for my birthday, got a new job with more authority and responsibility, have traveled to Chicago for a week at a time 6 or so times (for work), gone to Rockabilly, and Tiki events, visited my daughter in Missouri, and have been dealing with a failing personal business while losing 50 pounds... Yes... LOST 50 POUNDS!

Mentally I feel better then I have in my entire life!  I'm losing while eating foods I love and not being overly hungry.  I'm losing while exercising inconsistently.  I'm losing while going through drama and traveling and vacationing and all the stuff!

Has it been easy? Not always.  Changing your brain, taking control of your thoughts isn't easy.  Bypassing urges to eat when you have a habit of turning to food for comfort and entertainment and other things food isn't meant for, isn't easy.  But I wake up every morning and focus on, "How can I make this easy?"  "How can I be a badass today?" "How can I love myself today?" and it's been A-Maze-Ing!

I'm going to start sharing a bit more of my journey here - I feel like I have a story to tell - I still have 110 lbs left to lose and I'm sure there will be good days and bad.  I want to remember them.  I want this story to finally have a happy ending to finally post "I've hit my goal!" and transition to maintenance and all the opportunities for success that'll bring - I want to help someone else who's struggling, who's been overweight for years, who's gained and lost and gained again....

So, yeah -- hi blog! 

 I have to tell you guys... they hits keep on coming! My husband has been going through some stuff, and I've been doing my best to gently coach him. Luckily he's seen the change in me and it has opened him up to listening bit by bit. Last night I finally got up the nerve to tell him a bit of 'real truth' being open to the fact that he may or may not be ready to hear it.

When he told me (over the phone cause I'm traveling for work right now) "If X will just happen then I'll be ok" I told him, "Honey, no, it won't. You can't change your feelings by changing your circumstance. Look how many times you've tried that! There will always be something that stresses you out or makes your frustrated or doesn't go your way. You need to also work on changing your mind!"

AND HE AGREED WITH ME!!!!

This morning he slacked me and told me

so I heard the saying which I think was really cool and think maybe I'll adopt it as my mantra
Make today better than yesterday
It's a mini goal but it seems pretty good

and we talked about that a little - I think it's a good powerful thought

and just now he messaged me again and told me

I don't know if you saw that but I ordered a Kindle book called the seven-day mental diet
I want to try and read a little bit of that every day it's supposed to be something about not judging people and taking everything as it comes

12:39 PM

Basically what we were talking about how I need to change my Outlook not my situation

I'm so damn proud of him and nearly in tears over how amazing life is right now. ((and I don't cry people... I just DON'T))

So just know - you probably are being a light for others in your life as you work to better your own. We may not all be Corinne and able to help thousands, but sometimes just by helping ourselves we can help even just one or two of the people around us....