I feel a little like a fraud posting because I gave up giving a damn about what others thought about what I’m wearing…

But, maybe, somewhere in the tribe is someone who is shaped like me - or is also in her 50’s who thinks she can’t. So, here ya go…

#wearthedamnthing

 

I've really been digging into my urges a lot - and why sometimes they feel hard. There's been a resistance to the process of weight loss that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I thought I had put my finger on it a few times but trying on those ideas while in the midst of an urge or while planning etc just wasn't fitting right. It was close... but...not...quite... there....

Then, today, it hit me...since I have been sitting with urges, feeling my feelings and REALLY digging in - not just with food, and drink but also with my spending... I've been hearing other thoughts...

"oooo, I should go get my nose pierced again!" Has been a big one

After sitting with that urge for a bit I realized... eating and drinking (and sometimes spending) was one of the few places where I allowed myself to be impulsive and/or spontaneous and there is a sense of excitement and novelty in that.

Yes, I can find excitement and novelty in planned things. I can savor the anticipation of planned things too. But I think (for me) there's a happy place that has a combination of spontaneity and planned experiences. But for me - I think I tend toward enjoying the thrill of impulsiveness.

So, now I just need to figure out when and what kind of spontaneous things I can indulge in that don't come in conflict with my other long term goals....

 Google was kind enough to bring up this memory for me… and the accidental shot was almost exactly like the one I took yesterday.

Interesting comparison

Other than my brain I’m not really a ‘transformation’ just yet. But I really needed this reminder that YES! I have made progress!

What’s funny is I alway lose weight first in my face, neck and shoulders. So I look like my neck has grown MUCH longer…

Here’s to 45 pounds gone!

NSV!! I can now wear this black bangle!! The yellow and brown are the size that fit before

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33Kim Siberski, Annmarie Entner and 31 others

I had an amazing moment of clarity the other day that I wanted to share.

Now - I will tell you all that I've been a member of NoBS for four years. I've worked through a bunch of layers to get to this mental place.. but I'm hoping, maybe, I can help someone else get there faster.

99% of the time (anymore) - the thought that brings up urges is "I want that" or something similar. Yesterday I had that moment, felt the urge (for some of the bourbon sitting on the counter), heard the voice and I paused and asked.. "Why?" Now, here's the thing. My lizard brain... the one that was sending up the urge couldn't tell me "Why" in words that I could understand but I could feel in my body what it would feel like to have that drink, the untightening of my chest, the relaxation of my limbs, warmth at my heart... the followed by the urge again.

Then the words, repeated over and over again by Corinne came to me. "A feeling is just a vibration in your body" And I realized.. What my urge brain was saying was "We want to feel this way..." I still can't name the exact emotional feeling, but I certainly understood what it felt like physically. I also realized, if my urge is asking to feel a certain way... to cause a certain vibration in my body... Why... I know how to feel a feeling on purpose! We've practiced that in NOBS before! So hey brain... let's feel that way now.. but without an off plan drink!

And I did... and it WORKED!!!!