Thursday, March 12, 2015

Ugh!  I just can't seem to get on a roll. The longest I can seem to keep to any kind of eating plan is about 1/2 a day lately!! I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm the heaviest I've been in my life and I can't seem to shake myself out if this rut and do something about it. The feast beast is in charge right now and it's making me feel helpless and hopeless. I haven't felt this horrible in a long time and I don't like it. But shaking the blues seems like an impossible task. 

Every diet book that talks about the mental aspects of weight loss is rolling through my brain. Each is shouting it's advice at me but none of them make my brain sit up and say, "Yes! That feels like the answer!"  

I just want it gone. And by 'it' I don't mean the weight. Yes, I want it gone too but I'm willing to go the whole journey with that. But what I want gone is whatever it is that I consistently hold back by eating waaaaay too much food. What is it that I can't face that I keep shoving down by tossing food on top of it?  I don't know my next step right now. Food isn't the enemy - I am. 

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