Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Progress - it’s been frustrating.  I started at 268.8 and have seen 265.7 (the first week) but have been bouncing between those two numbers ever since.  I’m not looking for much but just a .5 lb would be welcome.  Something that shows that what I’m doing is making a difference.  

I know how fat I am, but seeing my photos was really a sucker punch.  My inner dictator is stomping around screaming, yelling and waving her whip. Telling me I better do something. At the same time, there’s another part of me that feels like it’s being beaten into submission (or is about to be) and simple thought of doing something like giving up cheese (even for a day or two) is making it curl up in a corner and whimper.  

*Deep Breath* Ok, I’m going to look at this from a less dramatic perspective, less polarization.  The dictator doesn’t have to be that - it can be a strict but loving mother who wants what’s best for me.  And the wild thing isn’t a helpless voiceless animal,  It’s the inner toddler that just needs a little guidance in accepting what’s good for it.  And both these things are ME and I’m in control of me.  

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