Sunday, September 6, 2015

So, I did the party and stayed true to my goals, but it was hard.  Watching everyone else eat, drink and be merry was difficult and in the end I got tired of arguing with my inner toddler and I went home early (I’m normally the last one to leave any party). The whole thing made me a little cranky and I came home feeling tired and grumpy instead of happy and energized like I normally am.  I tried telling myself, “You should be proud of yourself”  but I didn’t feel accomplished.

The little brat in my brain kept saying - why can’t I just enjoy myself like everyone else?  But I thought about it a little bit more.  One of my friends is ‘naturally thin’  and I started thinking about what she ate and drank at the party.  She didn’t sit and eat a bowl of chips.  She didn’t have two plates of meat and sides.  She had one small drink all night and passed on the cupcakes later.  Of all the people there she’s the one I would most like to look like and she didn’t spend the evening focused on the food and drink.

That, at least, helped me to feel a little less bitter, though I am still tired and grumpy.  

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