I just had a thought. Yes, I was listening to Corinne Crabtree at the time, but it had nothing to do with what she was talking about. It just kind of came out of the blue and popped into my head

I needed to gain this weight back.

Seriously, I was starting my last set of squats and my brain was doing it’s usual aimless wondering (one of the reason I love to work out) and suddenly it paused, looked at me and said ‘we needed to gain this weight’

I stopped and went ‘What!?’

And my brain nodded and said, “there were things we didn’t learn the first time so we needed to gain this weight so we could learn them…”

The sense of rightness…and peace that came over me! I can’t even tell you!

Not only does it make this work I’m doing seem even more valuable…But, now I know, if I ever gain weight again… it’s not because I’m a failure. It’s because there are things I still need to learn. And this was how I needed to learn them.

(For those who don’t know me - I joined in April 2019 and from then to March 2020 went from 295 to 237. I then started gaining and got up to April 2022 I was 283. I am now 249. I didn’t think I had been beating myself up about it. But after that thought I realized my inner drill Sergeant was still saying ‘you just didn’t do enough, try hard enough… blah blah blah’

But none of that is true! I just had lessons still to learn. We all do!))