Had a moment of ‘why bother’ today. I’ve been on again off again all month, but this week started really ‘working’ (yeah two whole days). I’ve been focused in making good food choices and getting up early (oh so early!) to work out. The rub I suppose is the battle between short term pleasures and long term results. Although I’ve been working to stay focused on goals I’ve been bombarded by temptations with no relief in site. Beside my work bringing in lunch (and sometimes breakfast) every day I have plans to go out with friends on Friday and Saturday night.

I have a few choices here... 1) become a hermit and never go out again. Food at home is ‘safe’.  (I’m an extrovert so this isn’t really a viable option)  2) go out and fight with myself about indulging in the food and drink available. (Doesn’t usually work) or 3) give in to the short turn pleasures and put off my weight loss goals again. 

Of course my feast beast, inner pig, inner brat whatever you wish to call it got really excited about these thoughts. After all... what’s so bad about being overweight? Sure, my feet and knees hurt some - but they’ll probably always hurt. I’m getting old after all. And my blood pressure is high and my blood sugar control is getting dangerous, but I FEEL fine. My husband loves me not matter my size and maybe I hate looking in the mirror but hey who needs to look in the mirror. 

But, I can’t give into this!! I have to get past this belief that food (and drink) is the only pleasure in my life. Food should be fuel - not a way to connect with friends, not a way to reduce stress... not a way to relieve boredom. 

I’ll get past this I’m sure. A little success on the scale will help but I’ll have to wait for that.