Friday, January 23, 2004

Wed didn't go as planned, and Thursday had no plan, so I'm left with a colorful calendar once again. But - My time to refocus is getting shorter and shorter.

This morning when I got on the scale and it said 182 and 42% body fat I decided ENOUGH!!!! I've wasted enough of my time, enough of my LIFE! I'm taking back control and making canges in my life.

Now to decide HOW. Well, I started the Discover Channel Diet, and I REALLY like it! It's so simple I just click a button and I have a menu and a shopping list. Sunday will be 'free' in the sense that I'm not going to 'plan' a menu, but I'm going to keep it in reason.

Exercise has been the most inconsistent part of my program. I want to RUN! Every other form of cardio I find every excus in the book to put off. So I'm going to do a 3 on and 1 off weight program for a bit. Just Something everyday to get the body moving and the blood pumping.

I did have a little talk with Jeremy, and I realized that more then anything what needs to change is me. There is obviously something INSIDE of me that's brining on these laps... I need to focus and I need to stop letting myself down. I'm worth the time it takes to plan and fix nutritious meals. No, wait - the FUTURE me is worth it! I'm worth the effort it takes to push out a few reps with the weights... I want to be strong and healthy... I want to be a role model. Heck, I'll admit it, I even want to be admired!

As I've said before, visualization is a real problem for me, so I'm going to take the time to do a little artwork and put my head on the body I want. I'm adding pilates back into my program so that I can spend that time thinking the body that's sitting there, waiting for me to take posession of it. I want to ingrain that image in my head, I want to see it when I look in the mirror and in my dreams. And - I'm starting all of this TODAY - I'm not going put this off until Monday. Today is the day to take action! If I put it off until Monday I know what I'll do, I'll take a three day break and be back to 185! No more back

sliding! I WILL get below 175. I've had ENOUGH!

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