Aaaaand It's Friday

Weight was good this morning - pretty much the same as yesterday

Since today is my most favorite holiday in the world... I skipped the gym so I would have time to dress up for work.

It was worth it cause everyone loved my costume.

including me...

I can't wait for next year when I'm in better shape and I can play even more with costume ideas.

Food has been alright.  My only disappointment was my lunch which was supposed to be a turkey patty, but was so stuffed full of onions I couldn't eat it.  But I got my vegetables at least.

And that's about it for the day.  The challenge tonight will be to get through the party/show without drinking all my calories for the day.  I'm sure I'll manage :D

A post about nothing

I feel a little weird, posting this way about.. .well, nothing.  The only reason I am is because I promised myself to write in my blog every day.

I used to write in my blog every day without a problem.  In fact it was practically a NEED for me.  I was learning about myself, about my limits about my aspirations... I was charged up and charging forward... and I think afraid.  Afraid that the fire wouldn't remain.  And it didn't.

Now... well I really don't have a fire.  This new "Action" face I'm in seems to be really calm and practical.  I'm not celebrating every win with a happy dance.  I'm taking it more matter of fact and you know what, that feels good to me.  It's a similar feeling to when I gave up diet pepsi (and all sodas) back in July.  There wasn't some big fan fair.  I didn't count down the days until my 'last day'.  I just looked around one afternoon and discovered I hadn't had a diet pepsi all day and though, huh, I wonder how long I can keep this up?   It's Oct and I still haven't picked one up and frankly, don't feel the need to.  If this journey with my weight loss can be like that.  I'll be so grateful.

So in  way I kind of want to celebrate the 'nothing to post about' moments.  Revel in the fact that a clean eating day is nothing to be excited about, it's just a day.  It's time to find other things to be excited about.

first off - the food is still good.  I'm enjoying it so much that I added meals for my husband to my plan.

Dinner: Crab Stuffed Flounder, Cauliflower, Creamed Spinach, Green Beans - OK a little fishy for my taste and had some crab shell left in it - but it was ok.
Breakfast: Scrambled Eggs, Canadian Bacon, Spinach, Cauliflower - this was a repeat from last week.  The Spinach was mixed in w/cream cheese and was a little.. thick before.  But this time I left it in the oven longer and it all melted and mmmmmmmmmmmmm. so good!
Lunch: Hamburger with Swiss Cheese, Creamed Spinach, Green Beans - again spinich mixed with cream cheese, but this time I had the gist of it.  I left it in the oven long enough to melt all the cream cheese and that plus the swiss cheese plus hamburger.. heaven!

Weight - I'm officially below 250! yay!!

Made it to the gym this am and did squats and did a 30 minute walk with the dog at lunch, so I'm all set here.  Ready to party (reasonably) tonight and enjoy the rest of my day.

Another successful day

So, things are going great.  Really not much to report here.  It's actually kind of nice not to be on that roller coaster of really low and really really high.  I'm just putting along and I'm fine with that.

Weight today was 250 - down a little.  I'm teetering on the edge of that decade mark and I'm just sitting here waiting for the 'woosh' to came and be past it.  I was checking some stats and I haven't been under 250 since May of this year, so I feel like I can gain back six months of my life if I can get over this hurdle.  I'm not stressing about it - just looking forward to it.  

Made it to the gym this morning, but still didn't have as much time as I would like to be there.  Did a simple bench press routine that took me 1/2 an hour and then left.  I'm hoping to get in at least a 30 minute walk when I get home.

As for food...

Dinner last night was Chicken Breast with Bacon and a red pepper sauce.  I wasn't a fan of the sauce too much, but the veg was awesome.  For the first time I got what I felt was a 'bad' piece of meat.  It was just so rubbery that my teeth were bouncing off it and when I did manage to bite through the texture was terrible.  BUT the second piece of meat in the same package was fine.  So I guess it was just one of those things.

Breakfast was a repeat (Cheese omelet w/spinach and bacon) and was as yummy as every.  I fixed it at work and my coworkers were all jealous because it looked and smelled so delicious.  I could probably eat this every day and be happy with it. 

Lunch was a 'working lunch' and they provided food for the office.  Luckily (as usual) it was mostly stuff I didn't like so I didn't mind eating my own food.  it was (Chicken Pesto Cheddar Melt, Broccoli Florets, Cauliflower, Mustard Greens)  perfectly good and didn't feel deprived of my free lunch at ALL.

And.. that's about it for me for the day... here's to anther win in the books!

End of the First Week

This morning was the 1 week weigh in for the Diet to Go program and (as you know) things are looking very very good.  I'm so happy!

And today I continued on a roll with the excercise...

went to the gym, warmed up with some rowing, then did some heavy deadlifting.  After coming home and having a meeting for work, I took the dog out for a walk, and THEN did a 10 minute quick - yoga-like workout  

Food was good again today.  I had a vegetable quiche on the menu, but I threw out the quiche and just ate the spinach and sausage that was provided while making my own eggs.  Lunch wasChicken Alfredo, Creamy Veggie Mix, Broccoli Florets and it was tasty as always.  Struggled just a little with being tempted by the leftover chocolate birthday cake, but I managed to ignore it and finally put it away so it wasn't 'in my face'.  Once it's out of site I haven't really thought about it much - and that's a good thing.

And so, I keep on keeping on! 

Day 7

So, how is this Diet2Go thing going for me?

Well, as of today I'm down 10 pounds - I would call that a short term success!

As for the meals, well So far I've had:

Chicken and Bacon Cheddar Melt, Mustard Greens, Broccoli & Cajun Cream Sauce
Lemon Herb Chicken, Cheesy Broccoli with Bacon, Green Beans
Pork Chop Breakfast, Egg Patty, Bacon, Cheddar Cheese, Green Beans (Twice)
Andouille Sausage, Fajita Veggies, Mozzarella Cheese, Zucchini & Squash Mix
Grilled Pork Chop, Green Peppercorn Sauce, Garlic Cauliflower Puree, Green Beans
Vegetable Quiche, Sausage Patty, Spinach
Spicy Salmon and Spinach Salad, Bacon Round, Marinated Vegetable Blend
Beef Short Ribs, Mushroom Sauce, Kale, Broccoli & Red Peppers

At this point it might be easier to tell you what I 'didn't like...

I don't like that it appears they put bell peppers on EVERYTHING.  I've given up hope that I'll have a dish without them and just eat around them.  Usually they are mild enough I don't notice.

The only dish I couldn't pick my way through (and still enjoy) was the Vegetable Quiche.  Just too much 'gross' stuff in it, peppers, mushrooms etc.

the Spicy Salmon was a bit of a challenge for me.  At least in the beginning.  I don't usually like oily fish and especially if it has a strong fishy taste to it.  The first few bites of the Salmon and I thought I wouldn't be able to eat it, but as it cooled the fish taste got milder and to my surprise I finished the entire thing (minus the peppers).  Wasn't really 'spicy' though - just a little bell peppery.

The only other disappointment was the Cauliflower Puree on my pork chop dish last night.  I've had "Mashed Cauliflower" before and I like it, but there was something weird in the texture and after taste of the puree that wasn't entirely pleasant.  I finished it, but it wasn't a great pleasure to eat.

By far my favorite meal of all of those wsa the Beef Short Ribs I had today for lunch.  O M G melt in your mouth with a really fantastic sauce.  I could eat that every day!

I also managed to go to the gym this morning.

My short term plan is to do Windlers 5/3/1 Big but Boring plan.  Only, because traffic was terrible on the way to the gym this AM I only manged to do the main sets - not the assistance work.  but I'm ok with that - that's why I picked this plan - because I was getting major muscle workouts even if I was short on time.    So I did a warm up, and then three sets of Overhead press, then walked on the treadmill.  A good combo and honestly, started my day off right.

One more thing to note.  We threw an adult Hallowen party this weekend.  Lots of food, dancing, drinking and general fun.  I made all the savory food for the party a bought a cake.  I handled the party by skipping my dinner for the night and only eating those foods at the party that honored my plan.  AND I had only a small drink - straight.  No beer, cider or sugary mixers.  And.. it worked!  Woke up the next day still down a little in weight.  It really does my confidence good to know I can make it through an event like that enjoy myself, lose weight and only feel a little twinge of sadness at not getting a piece of cake, or bread, or a cupcake.

Oh speaking of cake I skipped having a piece of cake at work too on Friday!

I think some of that is helped by the fact that this food keeps me soooo full!  I finding it pretty easy to ignore cravings - but to ignore both hunger and cravings might be a bit more difficult.  But so far, this past week it's been easy.   Here's to keeping up the momentum!

Start of Day 4

Things are still going fantastic!

Yesterday's lunch was Roasted Pork Loin, Morel Sauce, Spinach, Green Bean & Red Peppers - and it was really good!  Pork was maybe a little tough, but then pork often is, and it was reheated in the microwave which toughen/drys out everything.

Dinner was Chicken Roma again (substituted for the seafood medley).  It was even better the second time around!  I'll happily keep that in the rotation.

This morning's breakfast was the one I was most worried about; Spinach Quiche, Sausage Link, Green Beans, Red Peppers.  It wasn't my favorite.  It was a little bland (until I added a good dose of salt)  but it wasn't bad.  It'll do.  I was worried what else might be in the Quiche (like onions) but it was thankfully onion free and the red peppers seem to only add color because I couldn't taste them at all (and that's a good thing).  I added a little butter to the green beans and that worked out, but I'm starting to get a little tired of green beens - they tend to turn up on every meal.

My only problem right now is that I'm having to force myself to eat because I'm not hungry.  I know I need the calories, I've been under every day, but last night's dinner and this morning's breakfast... I was choking them down.  Not sure what to think about that.. maybe if I exercise more?

and the weight... well I was down a smidge again today so the results are still rolling in! hooray!

Start of Day 3

Ok, so maybe trying to blog every meal might be a little much - so I'll give you the dinner/breakfast rundown in one post.

Dinner last night was "Chicken Tenders with Red Pepper Sauce, Veggie Mix, Brussel Sprouts"

I took a chance on this one given my dislike of bell peppers and... wasn't too disappointing.  The Chicken Tenders were just diced up chicken breast - nice and tender.  The Veggie Mix was zucchini and yellow bell peppers - my only compliment there was that the bell peppers were really large so easy to remove.  When I have this again I'll pull the bell peppers out of it before I cook it.  The pepper sauce wasn't bad.  It wasn't too overwhelming - though there was a strong bell pepper taste to it.  It might be better if (as I said before) I took the large bell peppers out before cooking it.  And the Brussels Sprouts were... Brussels sprouts and really yummy as usual.  The only real bummer was that the combo of bell pepper and zucchini (where were laid under the chicken) added a LOT of water to the disk.  Again, a little rearranging before cooking might solve that too.  It was a good dish and I'll eat it again when it comes up in the rotation.

This AM breakfast was "Scrambled Eggs, Canadian Bacon, Spinach, Cauliflower"  It was great!  Very tasty, very filling!  My only 'points off' are that the spinach was mixed with cream cheese which was a little odd.  It wasn't bad, just a little rich (even for me) and it took me a while to get it all down.  Personally I could have done without the cream cheese - but then I like veggies - even spinach.

So, so far diets to go you are 5 for 5 on your meals - and I am a REALLY picky eater so that's saying a lot!

As for the rest of my progress...

Haven't put a workout plan in place yet.  I was so tired yesterday (minor crab flue perhaps) that it was all I could do just to stay awake at work.  Feeling pretty good today so maybe by this weekend I can start to put some light workout goals into effect.  I know I'm going to have to wait 2-4 weeks to be 100% Ketone adapted and start to really put the workouts in high gear.

As for progress... well I had been hovering around the 255 range for a while in Sept, beginning of Oct so that's why I was doubly upset that I had sprung up to 260.  As of today I'm 253.86 - I count that REAL progress and it makes me feel better about hitting some of my other goals.  249 by Mid Nov seems easy at this point!

Day 2:Meal 2

I'm back!

Today's lunch was a beef casserole.  I was expecting not to like this cause it "looked yucky"  (yes I'm a 2 year old at heart when it comes to food)  but I told my self to "Just try one bite".

Hey Mikey!  She likes it!

The sause was a little tangy but not overly so (I can't stand the taste of mayo and was afraid it would taste like that)  The onion's mushrooms and bellpeppers were easy to pick out and the meat was flavorful and tender.  And asparagus - I love asparagus so that was a non issue.  Didn't even feel this one needed butter.

Day one:Meal one and Day Two:Meal one

I only got to have one meal on day one.  That's because I couldn't pick up my delivery till 5 o'clock. So, my diet started with dinner oddly enough. But I did watch/manage all my meals yesterday and had a great on plan day.

So, my first meal was Chicken Roma; Chicken breast stuffed with what I believe was an artichoke and cream cheese mixture, side of cauliflower and some green beans made a complete meal.

To prepare my dinner all I had to do was take it out of the fridge, peel off the plastic film, throw it in the oven for 15 minutes. I added a little butter and some salt-and-pepper to my veggies just to make sure that they had plenty of flavor but that was it. Then I sat down and NOMed. It was really fantastic and it's certainly something that I can eat regularly and not feel the deprived.

This morning was my first breakfast. This is of some concern because pre-made breakfasts that include eggs can sometimes be really really really bad. To my surprise this wasn't! Breakfast was an egg omelet with cheese with a side of bacon and spinach!

Again, I just reheated everything inside the oven. You can't cook these things in the microwave but, we don't know the microwave! So I'm left re-heating things the long way.

I think the only thing I would do differently is, like with dinner last night, I should've added a little butter and a little salt a pepper.  Just because cooking in the oven tends to dry things out a bit in the better would add back in a little moisture. But, otherwise everything was fantastic.  This also came with a little side of salsa but since I don't eat salsa I skipped that part. I was really glad that the salsa was packed separately.  That way I didn't have to try and pick through my breakfast for stuff that I actually liked. Hopefully they continue doing this because (and this is my main problem with premade meals) I don't like onions or tomatoes!

I've already noticed some of the meals have bell peppers and I don't like bell peppers either.   But those are normally easy enough to pick out. There were some in the chicken Roma last night and I was able to pick them out easily and there wasn't an overwhelming taste of bell peppers.

I'll update you again once I have lunch today.  I have beef casserole and I'm excited to see how that turns out.

Oh! And I'm already down to 257! Glad to see my body hasn't decided to start this thing out stubborn 

WTF

Yeah...

Things didn't go as planned - lost focus, lost interest and didn't lose any weight.

Things have gotten worse actually - 260 lbs.  WTF!?  I'm officially double my goal weight right now.

But I can't think about that too much or I get so depressed I want to either curl up in bed and never leave it again, or eat.  or both.

But - there is hope...

I've been toying with a few ideas.  Dipping my toe into lifestyle/eating plans.  Moving a little more and hating myself a little less - and those are all good, positive steps.  And, for the first time in a long time I kind of feel "Ready".  Not just, "I have to do this now..." kind of ready, but that little kernel of excitement ready.   That flicker of "this might just work" instead of "This better work".

It's hard to explain the difference but I'm liking the direction things are taking.  My direction - well it's still headed in the direction I've been walking for a few years now.  I want to lean my diet more toward the paleo/primal lifestyle.  I feel best when I'm avoiding the grains and processed crap.  I also (always) feel better when I'm in at least mild ketosis.  I think I'm just built that way.   There's no doubt in my mind that I'm metabolically compromised and I would not in the least be surprised if I was also  insulin resistant.  There's no doubt in my mind that if I continue on the path I'm on I will be a very sick woman in 5 to 10 years.  I want to do something now!!

And so I have.

At 5PM tonight I pick up my first meals in my new Diet to Go plan.  It's low carb and paleo-ish (gluten/grain free some dairy and not necessarily grass fed - but one does what one can).  I did this plan once before, but I had to do the frozen plan.  And though the food was good, the texture was OFF on some things and I believe I only lasted a few months.   I DID loose weight and frankly the program was super simple - I need simple.

The difference this time is that I'm able to do the Fresh plan.  I'll pick up fresh food twice a week from a local store.  I'll only have a few days (instead of a whole weeks) worth of food to store and none of it is frozen.  I can add stuff to it (like extra veg, protein or fat) if I feel I need it, but all my 'big' meals are taken care of - Breakfast Lunch and Dinner... done, done and done.  And even better all the meals are already loaded into My Fitness Pal so tracking and figuring out how much snacking I can do in a day will be really easy.

In fact, I already pre-loaded all my meals for the next week into the app so all I'll have to do is add any snacks I eat.

For exercise... well traffic has decided some of that for me.  I now get up at 6:30AM so I can leave by 7:30 and be to work by 9:30.  If I get up and leave the house at 6:30 (only getting up a few minutes earlier) I can workout near my house and avoid much of the traffic while still getting to work by 9:30!  I think to make this part easier I need to 'pre-package' my workout clothes and work clothes for the week so that all I have to do is 'pop' them into my bag and run out the door.  Too many times what keeps me from going (excuses excuses) is not setting out my clothes the night before and not having time to do it in the morning.  So a 30 minute (or less) exercise on the weekend would have all that part taken care of - I just walk out the door.  Just like with the food.

And the goal?  Well the first goal is to get below 250 in four weeks.  Sounds aggressive I know but it's actually just 4% in 4 weeks.  I can do that, and I'll win some money if I do!  win/win

What have I got coming up that could be an issue?

Halloween party this weekend
Halloween next weekend

Then it's smooth sailing for the rest of those four weeks.  If I can find a way to manage those two things without derailing and without my wild child feeling deprived and rebelling, I'll have it made.

 

21DSD Day 6

I missed blogging a day or two -- OOPS!

Day 4 was great - food was right on plan.  But, I was battling cravings more then the other days.
Day 5 started good, but then I made some food for a friend's Birthday party and indulged... Had sugar, had wheat and drank alcohol!
Day 6  This is the day that made me proud.  Rather then telling myself  'oh well' after jumping off the plan, I jumped right back in and had a picture perfect day.  I even did my 1.75 mile walk - part of my training plan and actually stretched it to 3.24 miles.


Not much else to say..

weigh in today was 251.99

Down:

• 1.87 this week
• 1.87 during the detox
• 5.62 since August 24th

I've got a long ways to go, but the patients to get there! 

21DSD day 3

Day three done

Weight down .5 total .9

Sugar 0

Gluten 0

Booze 0

It wasn't as easy as the other days. Walked through Walgreens and stared down all the Halloween candy. That was a little rough but I tried not to think about it. Pretty much just managed my hunger and ignores my mild cravings throughout the day. Nothing too exciting - I'll take that. 

I'm feeling very restless and struggling with some instant gratification. So I played with my hair a little bit. I was hoping for a cut vintage look but ended up with just curly. Guess I need to keep trying though it's distracting me from food at least. 

21DSD Day 2 Level 1

So I promised myself I would blog every day during this 21 days. And here I am.

Weight:  Down .4 Total -.4
Sugar: 0
Gluten: 0
Booze: 0

Feeling pretty good today. A little bit of a headache but I think it's more from lack of sleep then any diet changes.  Couldn't fall asleep then couldn't stay asleep most of the night last night.  That's not unusual for me when I make a diet change and certainly not unusual when I get a visit from Aunt Flo... and she decided to visit today.

Food was on plan - no gluten, no sugar.  Had lunch 'out' today luckily I found it fairly easy to stay on plan because we ate at a taco truck - corn tortillas plus some chopped steak topped with a little cilantro.  Breakfast was my standard eggs + cheese and dinner was some fried sweet potatoes and sausage.  I snacked on cashews at work and a few dill pickles when I got home.  All in all a good day.

I didn't have any 'real' cravings, but the minute I got in the car to drive home I started thinking about getting a cheese quesadilla from taco bell on my way home.  I don't know why.  I couldn't associate it with a particular feeling or thought except, "I'm going home, I get a quesadilla now." So I'm going to assume it's just a habit I've created that I need to break by just saying "No"

Tomorrow I'm starting a run/walk plan to get ready for a 5K in December - we'll see if my knees are going to hold up to that.  Next week I MIGHT try going to the gym in the morning.  More to avoid the morning traffic then anything else.  But I'm not making any promises just yet.

Aaaaad 2/21 complete

BTW

If something looks strange here, that's because I moved all 12 years of posts from my previous blog over to this one so that all my trails, tribulations, successes and failures can be in one place for me to review and learn from.

Say Hey

Well, guess what...

It's me. And no, this isn't my annual 'fly by'.  I'm dedicating myself to 21 days of blogging to go along with my 21 day sugar detox.

So, to catch you up with me...

I'm not in a great place right now.  I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life.  My knees hurt, my feet hurt, my back hurts and I'm in terrible (cardio) shape.  I can still lift very heavy things and put them down again, but I'm not at the strongest I've ever been either.

After time after time of failed programs I find it harder and harder to get motivated to try again.  But I haven't given up either.

I have had one success though.  Back in July (or so) I had my last diet soda.  It was a strange thing how that happened.  I woke up one morning and we didn't have any soda in the house.  I rushed around all day doing other things and by the end of the day realized I had going all day without picking up any - or having any to drink and strangely I felt ok.  The next day I really didn't have any major cravings.  I started to get a soda out of habit at one point, but then realized that I didn't HAVE to have it, so I put it back.  And I haven't had one since, or for that matter, had any bad cravings for it either.  I was a miracle I swear.  If only the same thing could happen for junk food right!?

So, what am I doing right now?  Well I'm doing the 21 day sugar detox http://21daysugardetox.com/  I'm hoping that this might motivate me to do even bigger and better things as the month rolls on.  I have other goal goal then that at the moment.  Just do 21 days of no sugar and see how I feel at the end of it.  Oh - and blogging every day too.

So, it's the end of day 1 and I was sugar free and I'm feeling fine about that.  No big cravings, no major feelings of hunger.  Not too tired either -- here's to sugar fee.

1/21 complete

Easy Goals vs Challenging Goals

I discovered something about myself recently. The past year (or more) I've been trying the - "Be kind to yourself" approach. Trying not to diet (most of the time) and setting easy easy goals. Strangely enough what's happened? I gained weight. I gained a LOT of weight. (40 pounds in 2013)

If I'm truthful with myself there were some 'fuck-it' moments in there and those didn't help, but on the other hand I had thought that those were caused by my ultra strict dieting plans. Turns out that's not 100% of the problem.  So, by having this easy going - no crazy goals - diet plan,  I would lose 1/2 to 1 lb in a week for a few weeks, then have a 'fuck-it' week, gain five and have to start all over again - only from a higher starting point.

I also found that when my goal was 1 lb a week, that I tended to be a LOT less focused and spent a lot more days going - eh, I can focus tomorrow, it's only 1 lb.  And then a week would go by and I hadn't done anything.

So - I'm ditching all that.  I'm setting myself some aggressive goals for a short term deadline that's important to me.  I have a plan that's extra strict, but that I know will give me CLOSE to those results, but it'll mean sticking to it -- daily.

So, the plan...

I'm going back to Medifast, with a focus on convenience foods.  Bars and shakes.  Why?  Because then I don't have excuses.  Those foods are even easier then stopping for fast food.  5 Medifast meals + 1 lean and green meal. done and done

Exercise is going to be weight lifting only for three weeks. I want to give myself a chance to fully flip into fat burning mode. Then I want to slowly build up to training for triathlons again. I miss that drive that challenging myself on the weekends used to give me.  I'll stick to sprint triathlons at first so that I'm not pushing the 45 mins of exercise a day prescribed on medifast.  I'll also have to build up extra slow because I got runner's knee a few years back training for a 1/2 marathon and want to be able to run pain free.

I'll watch my body fat % numbers pretty close.  If that looks hinky I'll start throwing extra protein in the mix, but it's going to take at least a month of lean losses to make that happen.

The short term goal is 55 lbs before my chorus goes to competition in April.  Our costumes for comp are tight black leggings, tight black top and a leather jacket.  I want to look HOT...

Not a hot mess like I did for our Christmas concert

Still Fighting...

Hi! *waves* I've been quiet here, I realize. Good news, I'm still alive. Bad news, I'm still overweight and out of shape. But - I'm still fighting. Still looking for that n=1 formula that will allow me to finally hit my goals and maintain them. Check this spot again - cause I may just start blogging about it again.