Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Reflections of me...


I had a thought while walking to work from the ferry this morning. It occurred to me that although I had a STELLER week last week – I still spent a great deal of time feeling deprived. Then I realized that as long as I continue to feel this way, I will continue to fail. I will eventually relax my will power and say ‘forget this!’ ‘Why should I have to stay in the office while everyone else has Chinese food?’ ‘Why should I have to give up two hours of sleep just to go to the gym?’ ‘Why should I have to pass up a cookie?’…etc. I think you get the point. It’s the reoccurring theme in my life.

Until I convince myself that it’s eating the crap food and not working out that’s the REAL Deprivation I will continue to fall back into my old ways of doing things. I will give into temptation eventually.

I’m not exactly sure how to do that. I’m open to ideas – here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

1) Watch the self talk and change it as often as I can.
2) Find satisfying alternatives for the things I ‘miss’ (like the chocolate protein pudding I found the other day)
3) Add ‘Eating the crap food is the REAL Deprivation’ and other such items to my daily meditations/visualization.

I already started #3 – on the train this morning I pictured myself eating my favorite iced sugar cookies and every bite adding another ‘glob’ of fat to my body. (If only it worked that way… could you imagine?) I also spent some time imagining that I was eating my lovely spinach salad and with each bite I got just a little thinner, trimmer, stronger.

This ‘process’ that I’m going through can not be a ‘diet’. I’ve got to build these changes to my eating habits into something I can do forever. Because of my food issues I will NEVER be able coast through my ‘nutritional life’. And - I will not be able to live forever feeling deprived, and the only way around that is to change… me. Posted by Picasa


  1. You know, the great thing about reading everybody's blogs is that I get to find how much I have in common with other people!
    I can certainly relate to everything to just wrote.
    My way of thinking has changed in terms of BFL. I LOVE the program and how it works for me. I am not doing a challenge and I do not refer to it as a diet. I am just taking one day at a time and doing the best I can and it's working a lot better. Slow and steady.
    Every day, I remind myself that I really do love baked potatoes (I love the red skin ones cooked in the microwave with nothing else), ground beef cooked with Mrs. Dash (honestly, it's just yummy!), brown rice with peaches and cream corn and black beans (all healthy and sweet...cooked with cayenne pepper and salt-free chicken stock) and other yummy stuff and I realize that I'm not really missing out if I don't eat a cookie or a chocolate bar, etc. That being said, if I crave chocolate to the point where it's all I can think about, I eat a small piece. Done and done. We are not machines! I read somewhere in a blog or in a forum that you should remind yourself that you've already tasted almost everything. Why do you want to eat it again right at this very moment (like deep fried chicken).
    I thought that was sound advice. Granted, it doesn't always work for me, but I am only human.
    Also, when I running or riding my bike, I tend to picture what I want to be like. I don't picture a supermodel or a fitness person. I picture me. In my mind, I want to be able to dance fluidly and look sexy while doing it. I don't have to be skinny to achieve that. I just have to trim some lard.
    I'm in a chatty mood tonight. Sorry for taking up so much space!!
    I think it's great that you're searching for a new groove. The biggest changes start with small steps.

  2. WOW how can I follow up those 2 novels??? all in all it sounds like you're finding the things that work for YOU - that is the good thing..I'm trying to do the same sorta thing myself! :D

  3. BTW, awesome pic!!
    Sorry about the novel. :+|

  4. Don't be sorry! I enjoy reading comments and really appreciate your suggestions!