Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Today’s been a little rough. But, I’m getting ahead of myself – let me start at the beginning.

I got home last night and was HUNGRY! I think I’m going to have to change my meal schedule being I don’t get home until after 7:00. I’m probably going to have to plan one more meal away from home and only dinner at the house. *sigh*.

Anyway – I got home and didn’t want any of the meals I had planned. Typical of me. Luckily I had some other things on ‘standby’ (one thing about doing BFL as long as I have – there’s a million recipes stashed away in my folder. Frankly, I was craving some spicy chicken stir fry. Problem. I had no stir fry veggies. But I went ahead and chopped up a pound of chicken. While I was looking around the kitchen I spotted some red potatoes sitting in the fruit bowl. (Don’t ask). So I sliced 3/4ths of a pound of those into quarters, threw them in a bowl with 1 Tbs olive oil, sprinkled some fresh thyme, dried rosemary, garlic powder and salt and pepper over them and stirred. (Ok so I put them in a plastic bowl, put the lid on and SHOOK them a bit) Then I put them in the oven at 425 degrees. (on a baking sheet of course! What were you thinking?) After that I dumped the chopped chicken into another plastic bowl along with a bunch of spices, (I doubt I remember them all) tarragon, caraway, ginger… ah I know there’s more! Along with a Tbs of Splenda, then put the lid on and shook all THAT up. I dumped what was left of some frozen veggies into a microwave pan, put a little water in and started in going in the zapper, then dumped the chicken into a pan with leetle bit of hot olive oil, and dinner was on it’s way.

Let me tell you, it was GOOD! And I resisted the temptation to nibble while I waited for it to cook.

After that I finished the night with a little EFL cheese cake (sans the strawberries cause mine had gone a little green – ug!). It was GOOD. And the day ended at under 2000 calories! Yay!

Still having problems falling asleep – it’s a PMS thing so I’m not too worried about it. Just makes it hell to try and get up at 4:00. I did it anyway.

The roads were clear today. I have to add that I feel a little embarrassed by the Kudos for going to the gym despite the flooding. You see – the gym is on the way to work. So I kind of HAD TO keep driving. :)

Since we both kind of ‘started back’ at the same time. My fiancé and I have started working out, together. Don’t get me wrong, we went to the gym together before, but we didn’t always do the same thing. But now we both do legs on legs day and chest on chest day etc. We alternate using a machine and do the same workout. This has caused some… problems. We don’t exactly have the same workout style :) But we’re working through it.

So today was Back – I like Back Day (I think I say this every day)
Bent Rows (+Bar): 50 x 6 / 60 x 6
Close Grip PullDown: 110 x 6 / 115 x 6
Seated Row: 120 x 6 / 115 x 6
Assisted Pullups: (paralle-grip) 170 x 10 / (wide-grip) 170 x 8 (I was so proud to do this!)

We were walking over to do Olympic style dead lifts when it happened. He said something that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. And instead of me shrugging it off that nasty thought ran through my head… “It’s my birthday, he should be NICE to me!” (Did I mention it’s my birthday today? No – well it is)

Today – I discovered something. My birthday is the only day of the year that I EXPECT certain things from people. I EXPECT that the world should revolve around me and that every person should temper their actions with “it’s her birthday”. It makes me MISSERABLE! So this stupid little thing (I’m sure enhanced by PMS) set me off and made me grumpy, then depressed… then grumpy again. We finished our workout but as my best friend used to say “our asses defiantly weren’t touching”

Olympic Dead Lifts: 45 x 6 / 80 x 6
Cable Crunches: 90 x 15 / 90 x 15

THEN in the locker room I got on the scale - The 'needs to be serviced' sign was gone and I was looking forward to having yesterday's weigh in afirmed. Um.. yeah. The nasty scale said 204.8. I was SO upset. Upset at myself for letting the stupid scale dictate my feelings. Upset that I had BRAGGED about getting down to 202. Upset that the sky was grey instead of orange (you ladies know what I'm talking about).

Of course fiance and I made up but everything piled on had left with very ‘unsatisfied’ feeling. Not BAD just… blue.

A DANGEROUS situation for a foodie like me. In truth, my brain was already binging, and I kept having to drag my brain away from the thought of ‘treats’. Of course the thought, ‘But it’s my BIRTHDAY’ kept cropping up and that didn’t help. But every time I caught myself thinking of things I shouldn’t I’d mentally change the channel. And every time that little kid whined about wanting a PONY I reminded her that the most wonderful present we can give ourselves is our self respect. I also went to my ‘compromise’ list of foods and had a Big 100 (a cravings buster for me) instead of my yogurt and Protein Powder I had planned.

As the day has worn on I’ve been feeling better. Focusing on my morning’s victories. Having the person who’s quickly becoming my 2nd best friend (My fiancé is my #1 best friend) do everything she could to make a ‘big deal’ about it being my day has helped. Also realizing and confessing this little ‘foible’ of mine has helped to clear a lot of the ‘blackness’ from my brain.

Luckily no one invited me to lunch. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to eat in a restaurant today. It would have felt really weird to say no.

So I’m good now. Drinking my water – eating the food I brought. No big plans tonight, but I’m fine with that. The ‘party’ (put together by #2) is Friday night…

And for those of you wondering… I became 37 today.


  1. I actually knew it was your birthday, and that you were 37, hence the message I posted on my blog yesterday ;-).

    My memory is good, (most of the time) ha ha.

    As for that kudos, you deserved it anyway and I certainly don't want it back ;-).

    Hope your day gets better, and keep plugging away at those workouts, you're doing really well so forget those scales, and just feel the way you want to.

    It's your day, and you deserve to feel great all day :-).


  2. Happy Birthday! I do the same thing, I expect to be the Queen of the World on my birthday and don't know why everyone doesn't just wait on me hand and foot all day. :o)


    I do hope that your day got/is getting a little better. Keep it up though... you can pull through it :-)

    I remember counting down from like "58 days until my birthday", so I KNOW what you mean... I want to be the center of EVERYTHING on my birthday too! Haha! Hold your head up high... because you are awesome and great support and motivation for me.

  4. Happy Birthday, and I had cooked you a birthday dinner. It was Yellow fin tuna steaks, tabbouleh, and steamed brocolli.I know you couldn't make it in time but I'll save you some.
    Way to keep up your strength and resisting rewarding yourself with the crappy food.And great workout too, by the way.
    The scale at your gym was broke. I forgot to tell you, it is reading 10 lbs heavier, so no worries.
    Again, Happy Birthday and enjoy yourself, the day will get better!

  5. Happy Birthday! Hope you are at goal by the time the next one rolls around so that you can enjoy a nice sized piece of cake - guilt free.

  6. Happy Belated Birthday! Cheers to you for turning things around in you mind and fighting that little gremlin!!!

  7. Happy Birthday!
    Hope you have a great one..

  8. Happy Birthday!! Woohoo!

    I suffer from insomnia when it's TTOM too. Dreadful to toss and turn, knowing you have to get up early the next morning.

    Anyway, hope you feel good enough celebrate today!!



  9. Hope you had a great birthday! And you SHOULD expected to be treated extra well on your special day!