Monday, January 30, 2006

Well last week turned out interesting...

Wednesday I woke up and discovered I couldn't walk across the room. I was so dizzy that even while lying down it felt like I was on a merry go round.

By Thursday I thought I felt better - took the day off from exercise just in case.

Friday the BLEHS were back. No dizziness but a headache and complete exhaustion. I took a bad thing and made it worse by not eating properly.

Saturday, again with the blahs. I at least was back 'on the wagon' with food. No problems there.

Sunday - well thank God it was a free day.

Today - well I think I have an idea of what's going on at least. I'm thinking sinus infection, perhaps edging toward ear infection? What's bothering me more then anything is the total exhaustion. I got up at 4:00 this morning, got my gym clothes on and actually packed my car and turned it on. I was shaking and felt sick to my stomach I was SO TIRED! So I turned off the car and went back in and went to bed. Ended up sleeping until 7:00!! I drove myself to the Ferry and then took a 30 minute nap while on there. Even then when I got to work all I've wanted to do all morning is lay my head on the keyboard and go back to sleep. Even after popping two aliev I've got a headache behind my eyes and I'm having trouble focusing on the screen.

BUT - I have done some things right today. Last night I planned all my meals for the day and I've got them packed and sitting in the fridge. No temping myself by going to the store for lunch when I'm feeling vulnerable.

As for a workout. I don't see a heavy leg day in my future - a thought that makes me VERY sad. But I will do something!! even if it's just a 30 minute walk on the treadmill. I will end this string of yellows and do what I can. I've got a bad attitude I suppose. If I can't give 100% I feel like I shouldn't even bother. THAT's not going to get me anywhere.

I've got two more days in January - I'll recap the month on the first. I'm looking forward to February. I've got some small changes in mind that just might get this body of mine to start giving me the results I want...

I did two things last night - 1 I downloaded Diet Power to try a for a few days. I LOVE my fitday PC but I want to see how Diet Power does tracking my metabolism.

I also ordered a set of motivational CD's from Susan Powter. Say what you will about the woman but she's lost 133 lbs and KEPT it off for YEARS now. Personally I love her motivational style and her 'Don't be stupid' attitude. One of my favorite lines of hers is 'There is no motivational Fairy'. You can bet that I'll be checking my mail every day with eager anticipation until they come. I'm going to rip the CD's and dump them onto an MP3 player so I can listen while I run and while I ride the ferry. I also should be getting 'The Thin Commandments' on CD soon. Maybe those voices in my ears will help to battle the voices in my head.

I know it sounds like a cop out, but my self esteem has really been taking a battering of late and it's made it a constant battle to do right by myself. I need to call in a few reinforcements.

And that's my plan! ;)


  1. Shawn, I don't particularly believe in self help tapes myself, but then I have never been in your position.

    The other thing you could try as a thought, is recording your own voice.

    You might be able to buy one of those Computer microphones, and save the recoring onto CD possibly, or transfer it to MP3 player.

    Tell yourslf things you like about yourself, give yourself the pep talk, and tell yourself you can do it.

    You will be hearing your own voice, telling the Bull crap merchant in your subconscious to get out of town, because the Mayoress of Shawnworld, is kicking out the wasters ;-) ;-).

    That way, you're accountable for yourself, as sometimes hearing someone who has been there tell you it's possible, doesn't work for some people, knowing that the person may not be genetically matched to you, and therefore their own results may not be as effective for others, like they were for them.

    Of course I'm not saying you shouldn't use these kind of things, it's entirely up to you. I'm just trying to see the whole picture here :-).

    I hope you get better soon.

    My thoughts and wishes are with you during these frustrating times, and maybe you could still do Legs, but just use half the weight, and add maybe another 3-4 reps, just to feel the effect.

    Take care Shawn, keep working through it, and know you should be very proud of your diet achievements these past few days.

    You're doing really well, and I feel very proud of you, so KEEP IT UP, and try to keep smiling, and feeling proud of yourself.

    Overall you've done fantastically well since New Year, and you deserve to be proud of this January.

    More months like this, and you'll look fabulous by Christmas.

    GOOD LUCK Shawn, you're a real shining star and my belief in you is still very much 100%, so don't let anything get you down.

    You do and will kick ass.


  2. Shawn, I'm sorry to see you in the dumps lately. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to get over the "all or nothing" approach. I used to use that excuse a lot. I would mess up and go off plan with one meal or a bad snack and before I knew it, I would be eating poorly for the rest of the day. Or, I would miss a workout and then, I would eat more on top of that. I always figured "if I'm going to screw up, I might as well make it a big screw up and get it out of my system". But the problem with this thinking is that none of us are perfect. We make mistakes and if we wait around until everthing is perfect to try and make a change in our lives, we will never do it! So, if you mess up by missing a workout or going a little off plan, you just need to forgive yourself for not being perfect and move on. Try the best you can to finish the day off well.

    I'm glad you are trying out Diet Power. I LOVE it! It has been really helpful to me for tracking the caloric needs of my body. You want to be sure to log everything you eat and all of your excercise consistently for the entire trial period as well as logging your daily weight. Try to avoid really salty foods while you are doing this or you might be seeing some water weight spikes that could skew off your metabolism calculations.

    I hope you are able to get over your lack of motivation. I know it's hard to stick with it when you aren't seeing the results you were expecting, but if you are consistent and work as hard as you can towards your goal, you will eventually get there!

    Good luck and hope you feel better soon.

  3. I can't imagine that feeling crappy does much for motivation. At this point, have you considered going to the doctor? I myself tend to put off doctor's visits until the very last minute when I think I am near death, lol. But days of dizziness can't be good.

    I think those CDs will be good for you. If nothing else, they'll maybe give you a new perspective on things.

    Take care of yourself. Don't worry about missing workouts, you don't want to hurt yourself, and you'll get back to it when you can. But if it's a sinus infection and/or an ear infection, some antibiotics can go a long way toward making you feel like working out again!

    xoxo Jess

  4. Hey girl, get thee to the doctor...(of course if he punches your answers into a computer...RUN) but get the antibiotics girl!! I can't wait to hear about the cd's you ordered, and I am excited to hear about your new diet power program.

    ps...I can call you and tell you great things about you, and it would be free!!

  5. Just thinking about you and hoping you get through this soon.Take care of yourself and it will all come around shortly.

  6. Granted the sinus/ear infection will make you feel dizzy and crappy in general, but then all your body's energy goes to fighting that off and doesn't have anything left over for exercise. So you end up being tired all the time. Also, I suspect you are hitting your sugar threshold. Your blood sugars get lower quicker because you aren't refueling them as often or as much with your new diet. Make sure you are keeping careful track of getting 30 to 50 grams of fat a day, spread throughout the day, to keep you going and to keep your metabolism from bottoming out.

  7. Thats your plan and you're sticking with it ;-). Sounds like you're doing great...keep up the good work...and thanks for that muppet of my faves. best, patrick