Thursday, December 1, 2005

I read something today that made me think…

So many times I’ve read about that defining moment. That day that someone looked in the mirror and said. “I don’t want to be that person any more”. Today I saw another one at Moe’s Site and that’s what started me thinking.

You see, I’ve never had that “ah ha” moment. Not really. I was a skinny little thing (maybe 10 or ll) and saw a picture of myself in a bikini. I was bent at the waist and the skin there had ‘rolled’. Imagine the skin of a Sharpe puppy. My first thought. “I’m fat!” It wasn’t until High School that I started to diet though. I was 5’5” and 120 (ish) pounds. Today when I look back I have no idea why I felt so fat. Maybe it was the fact that I wore a size bigger pants then my mom (who is 5’1”) or that I constantly wore big baggy shirts because I was embarrassed of my DD sized boobs. Whatever the reason I stared dieting. You know, the way you were supposed to back then, eating bullion, saltines and salads and making sure to keep your calories between 700 and 900 calories. I never succeeded on any of those diets of course and by the time I graduated I had the beginning of a ‘real’ weight problem as I was now 165lbs. Eight months later I had my first child and I have never been lower then 175 since then. And never at 175 for more then a week. My highest weight (other then pregnancy) was between 230 and 250… Yeah, I fight my weight – I fight to eat right – I fight to exercise. But can I point out a time and say “There, that’s when I decided to change my life.” No.

That being said It makes me wonder. Would this whole thing be any easier if I had had an ‘ah ha’ moment? Would it be easier to pass on the cookies if I had this crystal clear vision of where I didn’t want to be? Goal setters say it doesn’t work that way. That you can’t run away from a vision only toward one because by focusing on what you Don’t want you only force yourself to move in that direction. But still I wonder. People who can point to ‘that moment’ seem to be the successful ones. Whereas me? Well my ‘baby’ is 18 years old. Isn’t that too long to be ‘trying’ to do something?


  1. Funny Shawn, I have never had the "ah ha" moment either.

    I've always been the "chubbier" kid in my class right from about Gr. 5 on up. But I was never significantly overweight, maybe always 10 to 15 pounds or one point perhaps 20 lbs. I too wonder about what you are saying about things being easier with that "ah ha" moment...I'm not really sure.

    What I do know that is I have never really been a goal setter, and I think that this is a big problem for me. I think with clear cut short and long term goals, I'd be much better able to keep my focus. I will set goals but not reveiw them and therefore not ever reach them. I truly have to make goal-setting a priority.

    Thank you for giving me something to think about. You know I think with clear and measurable goals, focus, determination and trust in ourselves we CAN be successful with or without that "moment". And who knows, we may still experience it one day!

    Happy Friday to you!

  2. I don't think there is ever a point where you're trying for too long. In my opinion, as long as you're still trying, you're not giving up, and not becoming the guy on my blog.

    I wanted to mention too, that you wrote on my blog about never having that "free day hangover" or never feeling like something was too sweet, or you just can't eat the stuff you could eat pre-BFL. Well, me too. I thought I was the only one. I can still eat fast food like nobody's business, and have only had a stomachache once, and that was because I really just ate too much.

    I think the journey is similar for all of us, but the road is different, if that makes any sense. For me, keeping in mind both what I used to look like and never want to look like again, and what I want to look like, will help me reach my goals.

  3. Thanks both of your for your input. It really does help to know that I'm not alone in this.

    Jess, I loved this: "I think the journey is similar for all of us, but the road is different"

    almost makes me want to make it the Title of my blog :)