although I'm in the middle of my own personal challenge, I'm staring my 'offical' BFL challenge today. I'll be working on my pictures and getting my stats together tonight. I'll also be FINALLY going past the store and picking up my food for the week. No excuses.


Lastly, I'll be doing an upperbody workout tonight.


I've still got 100% support from my sweetheart. I told him I'm going to win a million bucks from the BFL challenge and he said that was alright with him ;) heh. I'm so ready to kick some butt and start feeling better, both physically and mentally. I've got a few pair of jeans to fit in to!

Everything finally caught up with me yesterday - I ended up sick.

I left work early went to bed at 6:00pm and ended up sleeping until this morning. I'm feeling MUCH better today. YAY

Monday I start my first 'official' Body for Life challenge. I only NOW got my materials. I was kind of bummed to not get them earlier, but hey that's the way it goes. BUT the BFL thing doesn't change anything here. I"m in the middle of a 12 week challenge and that challenge sticks. Saturday is my four weeks. I have to say I'm not looking forward to the new pictures but they have to be done. I have no one to blame for my lack of progress but myself.

I haven't figured out if I just stop posting when I struggle or if I struggle because I stop posting. Either way I haven't been back on track since the 14th. Yeah, I've been busy. So busy I just want to drop into a deep dark cave and hide there for days. Everything in my life has fallen behind - the books, the housework - everything. And of course, me being me, that means that I put myself LAST as always. No workouts, and no planning, no pre-making my meals. I did ok food wise for a while. Eating on the fly but continuing to make good choices. And then as the stress levels went up slowly the choices got worse and worse.

The good news, I'm down but not out. I've not gained weight and I'm still fighting to see this 12 weeks through to the end. I also have a so many people around me who love and support me. Marie - you're an angel and I appreciate all the work you've done to give me a plan that I would be WONDERFUL if I could just put it into action. And my fiance' is my rock. I've never met anyone who know's exactly how to motivate me and exactly the right thing to say. He gently reminds me of my goals when I struggle. He reminds me that he wants me to be healthy so that I can be around for him for a long long time. He takes care of SO many things so that I COULD have the time to workout and plan and all those other things if I would just step away from my work for a moment or two.

It's time to look back at all that planning I did before the year started. To remind myself that this CAN be done if I simply set my priorities right.

Today I pick myself, dust myself off and set my feet back on the path.

The past few days have been a bit of a struggle. Well - I don't know if struggle is exactly the word for it. Food has been cool. I had a full out Free day on Sunday. But I needed it - mentally. The only problem was that I haven't worked out since thursday night. The wierd thing is that I didn't even struggle with it. I just didn't do it, without a single thought. Wierd. Oh well. New week and I'm ready and willing to hit it hard once again. I have a new meal plan (Thank You Marie) that I will be putting into effect tomorrow. We'll see how it goes.

Progress? Well I was down to 204.5 today - that's 4 lbs total. I wish it was more, but I'll take what I can get. it will be a HUGE relief for me to get below 200 - I'm looking to see that number by the end of the month!

Got to get back to work. I'll try to update again and do some shouts tonight!

So, yesterday went great. Food was good choices and I got my run in at about 10:00pm. I was really proud of myself and my control yesterday. My boss took me out to lunch and I ordered the chicken. Then, when they set a plate in front of me that had not one, not two but THREE entire chicken breasts, plus about a cup and a half of mashed potatoes and about a cup of steamed veggies, I sat there and ate good smart portions; one of the chicken breasts, ½ of the potatoes and all the veggies. Later when I was in Wallgreens I started craving chocolate. I thought to myself, “I’ll get a protein bar” As I browsed the protein bars it occurred to me that I wasn’t really ‘hungry’ as in stomach hungry, but I was mouth/head hungry. While I’m all for essaying a craving now and then, it didn’t mean that I needed to sit there and snarf an entire 200+ calorie protein bar. So I skipped the bar, skipped the chocolate and once I left the store, the cravings were gone anyway!

I woke up this morning aching from heat to toe! My chest, triceps and back are sore from my upper body workout, my butt and legs are sore from the lower body workout and the running and my right foot is reacting to the running (Plantar Fasciitis) All but the foot makes me feel GREAT. I’m just going to have to watch my running a little bit and see if I can keep the swelling and pain down in my foot. More stretching, taping my foot and some ibuprofen should get me through.

Looking forward to another great day!

Another Green day in the books - got my upper body workout in, and since it was week 2 I added another excercise into the pot and upped my weights on almost everything.

Swiss Ball Barbell Press:

30 x 12
35 x 10
40 x 8
45 x 6
40 x 12

Flyes

12 x 12

Upright Rows

10 x 12
15 x 10
20 x 8
25 x 6
20 x 12

Dumbell Shoulder Press

12 x 12

Bent Rows

30 x 12
35 x 10
40 x 8
45 x 6
40 x 12

Bent Flyes

12 x 12

And added this week...

Pushups:

Full x 0
Negative x 10
Knees x 12

I've already hit ONE of my 1/2 way goals. I'm a LONG way from doing 10 full pushups though! sheesh!

That's enough out of me. It's 1:00 AM time to hit the hay (right after I order my new set of weights! whoop!)

I happened to be looking through pictures and I found the photos I took Jan 5th last year! I can't believe how much I lost over the past year. I know, it's no use crying over split milk. But still! I NEVER EVER EVER want to have to look at this kind of backsliding again. REALLY!





The other thing that it's done is give me a little hope. In just 12 weeks I believe I can be really close to where I was at the first of last year. That means that in 12 weeks I can looking a LOT better!



I just went back and checked my journal. I was around 185 on Jan 5th last year. While I'll not get back there in 12 weeks. I know I can get close, and I know each week no - each day is going to bring me one step closer to being there

I had a good day yesterday. Food was ok and I upped my speed on the treadmil again. About 1/2 way through my workout I started making plans as to what I was going to do if I couldn't make it 1 minute at the top speed. Then I realized what I was doing. I was planning to FAIL! Finally I told myself, you ARE going to make it, stop thinking about quitting before you've even started. So instead of sitting on the 'mill' and visualizing quitting. I visualized myself running through the entire workout. And I did it. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't close to being impossible. So Thursday, the speed will go up another .1. That means that on Thursday, I will have added .5 miles per hour to each of my 1 min intervals.

Today is upper body. I can't wait to get in there and add a little to my bench press numbers. Tonight is also a 'free meal' night. Not exactly sure I'm going to go all out though. I may order on the conservative side, and then ask them to bring a box with my meal so I can put 1/2 of it away before I even start. The big 'treat' is going to be that I'll allow myself some desert, and if I'm already full - how can I enjoy the sweet stuff at the end.

Mentally, last night was not a good night. Even though my 'actions' have been really good so far, I started feeling really frustrated and helpless. The old thoughts of, "Your never going to make it, so why bother" started going through my head. I managed to shake most of them out. I have a feeling that it's really just homeostasis setting in, my body fighting the changes I'm making. If I stay the course then eventually by body will recognize that THIS is the natural state of things. At least that's what they tell me. As I've said before, there are days that I despair that I will ALWAYS be fighting cravings and the urge to overeat. But none of that means I should QUIT.

I'm not sure the calorie/nutrition split is the best but here is my favorite recipe for pumpkin. It's now a tradition at our house. You could probably modify it to make it fit whatever plan you're on.

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 pound andouille sausage, diced
1/4 cup butter
1 1/4 cups chopped onion
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 1/2 pounds pumpkin puree
1/4 cup praline liqueur
7 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
3/8 cup heavy cream

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIRECTIONS:
Cook diced sausage in skillet with 2 tablespoons butter for 5 minutes.
Add onion and cook until soft. Add thyme and pumpkin OR sweet potatoes and cook 5 minutes.
Add liqueur, broth, and brown sugar. Cover and simmer over low heat for 45 minutes, or until pumpkin OR potatoes are tender.
In blender puree soup in batches. Return to pan and stir in cream and remaining 2 tablespoons butter. Warm but do not boil. Serve immediately.

Nutrition Info
Servings Per Recipe: 7

Amount Per Serving
** Calories: 340
** Total Fat: 21.6g
** Cholesterol: 49mg
** Sodium: 1797mg
** Total Carbs: 27.6g
** Dietary Fiber: 3.4g
** Protein: 10.8g



also check www.allrecipes.com and do an ingrediant search for pumpkin. There's only about 20 or so for soup alone! :)

Oh - and if you do make this soup - one word of caution. When blending hot soup, only put about 1 1/2 cups of soup in the blender at a time. The first time I did it, I filled the blender, put the lid on (Holding it down with my hand of course) and then hit the switch. It EXPLODED! The force was strong enough to blow the lid off. I got scalding hot soup all over my arm (was borderline 2nd degree burn). Not to mention it was on the wall the celing floor... EVERYWHERE. I was lucky I didn't have my face closer.

Anyway - have fun. I would love to know how your veggie challenge goes.

I wish my desk was closer to the bathroom



I just took out 5-16oz bottles of water and set them on my desk. I'm setting a goal of getting through them today.



I got the rest of my 'goal' jeans last night. I'll have to take a picture in the first two - on so I can remember how they 'used' to fit later on. This is going to be a long journey, and I'm going to need some successes early on to help keep my moral up.

I just took out 5-16oz bottles of water and set them on my desk. I'm setting a goal of getting through them today.

I got the rest of my 'goal' jeans last night. I'll have to take a picture in the first two - on so I can remember how they 'used' to fit later on. This is going to be a long journey, and I'm going to need some successes early on to help keep my moral up.

Yesterday went OK. I did a lot of driving which always wreaks havock on my eating schedule (Getting up at 5:00am to drive the kids to school)

I was hungry several times during the day so I think I need to watch it, and make sure I'm getting enough food in each of my meals. The best part was coming home last night and seeing my sweety standing in front of the stove cooking. As soon as I came in he got all excited, showing me the rice and veggies he was stirring up. He kept asking, "Is this ok? You can eat this right?" He really is the BEST I swear!

I got another truncated leg/ab workout in last night. Since last week went so well I really upped the weight on the squats. In total my workout looked like this:

Super sets of squats and straight legged dead lifts

40lbs x 12
45lbs x 10
50 lbs x 8

Swiss ball crunches
12
10
8
6
12
Leg lifts
12

I felt really good after and unless I get instructions otherwise I'm going to add the next set on Thursday 55lbs x 6 for each.

today's plan includes a 20 minute HIIT run and maybe I'll hit the pilates for 10 minutes or so. I'm really thrilled that of the muscle I lost, I seem to have lost the least in my core. All those years of my mother telling me 'stand up straight' have finally paid off!

I haven't checked measurements yet, but so far I can't say as I've had thrilling results. I'm down 2.5lbs (that 5lb loss was just a one day glich it seems) and my pants arn't feeling looser yet. I think I just need to watch the Quality of my food closer. Or maybe I just need to give myself more then 1 week to see results? Hmmm ya think?

Yesterday was a rest day. No workout. What was funny is I found myself thinking about working out and actually LIKING it! geeze! I had to remind myself that it was a rest day. Today It's lower body. Thank goodness I've recovered from last week's workout. I'll probably try to push it a little harder this time, but still don't want to cripple myself.

Food has been a little harder. I kept finding myself in the kitchen looking in the cupboards yesterday. I had a bad case of the 'munchies'. I managed to skip any unautherised foods, so, another green day in the books. I'm starting to really like my calendar looking this way.

I'm doing what needs to be done and it feels good. I just wish my clothes fit better already! What can I say, I'm impatient. It's been a week - should I start to feel more comfortable? heh

I'm still doing all I can to visualize myself as a 'fit' person. There are days when it's harder then others, but I'm managing. I'm getting so much help and support from those around me! Thank you to everyone here.

Yeah I had to do it again. A late night workout, but I did it and I'm SO GLAD!

Another green day in the books. Had a free meal at Der Weinersnitzel - mini corn dogs were SO worth it. The best part was after it was done I stopped and got right back on plan. To quote an old friend of mine WOOP ;)

Have a great weekend!

3:00 am time to work chest



Yes, It's really 3:00am and yes I did just finish my workout. BUT, I wasn't going to go to bed until I did.



That's done - another green day in the books.



'nigh y'all

I was reading a post of a fellow 'transformer' and she had created a list of questions she asked herself all the time. I took the list, personalized it a little and added my own answers.



I took your questions and personalized them for me. Only because I have asked these things so often myself and I though it would be good for me. I hope you don't mind.



Why do you feel like you will have issues with your weight for your entire life?



I feel like I will have issues with my weight my entire life because deep inside, I know that I will have to deal with my food addiction EVERY day. The same way an alcoholic or other addict does. The only thing that means is that what every changes I make to lose weight now, will be changes I will have to be able to keep – for life! I can not fall into the trap that I will one day be in ‘ maintenance mode’. Every time I start to get that mentality, I gain again. Instead I have to convince myself that I will ALWAYS be setting and reaching goals. Anything that’s not moving forward is getting stagnant and I DON’T want to get stagnant.





Why do you feel like even if you lose weight you will find something to be unhappy about?



I know, from looking deep within myself and from talking to other people that losing weight is not the answer to all my problems. In fact, the only problem I can solve by being thin is the problem of being overweight. And even thin there may be things about my body I still don’t like. I have a heavy jaw and my eyebrows don’t arch – does that mean I shouldn’t lose weight? No. While a hefty portion of weight loss is about vanity and looking good. Another part is about being healthy and fit. That’s why I should do it, even if I can’t be ‘perfect’





Why do you look at people who have lost weight and feel jealous inside and am not as encouraging as you could be. Is it because you are mad inside that its not you?



I think the question is already answered. I spend a lot of time hating myself. A healthy mind rejects those feelings and to help ease them starts to project them on others. So when I see someone else who has lost weight it much easier for my mind and my pride to think evil things about them, then to realize that with hard work, “That could be me!” I’ve tried to work on this over the years. I’m getting closer to the point that I can look at someone’s who’s lost weight and think – If they have done it so can I!



Why do you look at people who are heavier than you and rationalize with myself that "at least im not that big, it could be worse"



These thoughts are much like what I spoke on before. I can make myself hate myself less when I see someone else who ‘worse’ off then me. What was humbling to me was the day I said, “Hey at least I’m not THAT big” and my fiancé just looked at me. It was then I realized that I WAS that big and if I didn’t do something about it, I would continue down the long spiral to obesity and eventually end of one of those women who couldn’t get out of her house.



Why do you try and blame your weight on being bloated, or having IBS, or being on your period?



Again, the same reasons as before. My psyche doesn’t like me hating myself. So let’s deflect and defuse. I’ll hate my period instead – or blame other health issues. What really has to happen though, is that I need to stop hating and start LOVING myself enough to make a change!



Why do you look at in shape people and find reasons to put them down??



Ditto ;)



Why do you let your relationship with your boyfriend and your intimacy suffer because you are not happy with your weight?



It’s hard to love someone when you’re holding so much self-loathing inside. What I have to do is realize I’m not a ‘bad’ person. I’m an overweight person. At least ‘fat’ I can change. Overall I’m a nice person, and I deserve love and affection despite my weight. What I finally came to realize is that this person I loved deserved to have someone who was fit and healthy and who would be around to love him for a very long time. AND that he deserved the BEST of me fat or skinny.



Why do you buy endless fitness magazines and healthy food and always manage to either gain weight or stay exactly the same?



I buy fitness magazines often to ‘find the answer’. Maybe this one will contain the magic exercise, the perfect phase, the motivating factor that will make it all come together and HAPPEN. But none of it does unless I get up and DO some of it. The motivation for THAT has to come from within.



Why do you even bother to write down goals if you never follow them?



Because not setting goals means giving up hope. That I NEVER do. Hope and determination will always be my constant companions.



Why do you have all this workout equipment and clothes that just collect dust all the time?



For the same reason I always buy fitness magazines. The thought that maybe a new pair of yoga pants will make me get up in the morning. That having a treadmill at home will take away some of my excuses. That the new weight machine will get me lifting three times a week like I should.



Why is it that EVERY single day of your life you have to have some sort of issue with your weight or what you’re eating?!?!



Because I don’t always realize that the world is bigger then just me. I tend to look inside myself too often and too long until the focus of my existence becomes ME. Then I have to take a microscope to everything I am and everything I do. And usually it means that I have to take issue with it. And then – because I’m an emotional eater I sooth my issues with food. Or, I try to use iron clad will power to make the food ‘MIND’. The food isn’t ‘bad’ just the way I deal with it. When I can cure the disease – THEN the symptoms will go away.

I increased my speed another .1 per interval. Added a little more distance to my run and still felt good. I think Saturday I'll do it again. The plan is to continue to add .1 per interval until I find I absolutly CAN'T keep it up. Then I'll drop it and stay at that level for a while. I haven't found that - I can't go on level yet but when I do, you'll hear about it ;)

Another great day on the way. I have to say it's SO exciting to look over and see that string of 'on plan' days on my calendar. I like it - a LOT! I want to keep this momentem going.



Food is good so far, and I have my lunch packed and ready. The steak is in the fridge for dinner tonight so no excuses. Best of all - between having my period and losing that first week's water weight, I've dropped 5.5 lbs this week. That's always a nice motivating factor.



So far no out of site urges to eat or out of control cravings. If I could only stay like this always, I would never look the way I look now! I'm sure the going will get rough some day soon. All I can do now is prepare myself as best I can.



Has anyone else tried the new Body for Life bars and shakes? I’m liking them!

I had another excellent day! put another 1.25 miles on the treadmill. I've really been enjoying my workouts! Food went GREAT and I'm feeling wonderful. As I said before, one thing I've been doing a lot of lately is visulizing my success. I've figured out that I did a LOT of that when I had success bofore, so I'm doing my best to make that a part of my daily journey. Nothing gets me more excited about working out then imagining the stunned look on myco-worker's faces at the next Christmas Party! Things like that make it easier to pass up Double-double at in and out.

Today went better. I think 1/2 my issue was that I was overtired. Not getting enough sleep is a real mood issue for me. I'm better now and have enjoyed the day immencely. Food was great today and I had a GREAT lower body workout that already has my butt complaining - and I took it EASY! egads! I'm hoping to get up and run tomorrow. I may have to go slow and warm up a LOT, but I'm not going to give up my cardio and that's a fact!



Another green day in the books - can you believe it!?



Oh I forgot!



I got a booster shot of motivation today! The size 6 jeans came in the mail. OMG I can not WAIT until they fit! Only five sizes to go! heh!

I got a booster shot of motivation today! The size 6 jeans came in the mail. OMG I can not WAIT until they fit! Only five sizes to go! heh

Things haven't been as structured as I would like, but it's still going well. Yesterday was a bad day. Not for diet and excercise, that I managed, but mentally. I have no idea what it is about my birthday that sends me into a tailspin every year. Actually - I usually start getting depressed on New Year's eve but this year the excitement of starting my new life as a fit healthy person seemed to hold that off. But yesterday the blues hit. I was cranky and depressed and I found fault with everything - even my birthday present. I fianlly hit the threadmill and did everything I could to drain the negative feelings out of myself with the run. It didn't work. Since my fiance was already asleep (at ONLY 9:00pm) I bundled him into bed and started reading the book I had bought for myself the night before. THAT finally seemed to work.

I'm feeling fine today. All those negative black feelings are gone. I wish I knew what caused them because I would do anything to be happy and cheerful like a normal person. Maybe it's because, on my birthday it's one of the few days I turn into a truely selfish person. I actually 'expect' to be treated special. So little things like my fiance' bringing his son over, and not arrainging so we could spend the night alone - and not being able to go do something special like dinner. And then getting a new cell phone for a present that, while it's really nice, I don't really want or need, but will use anyway because it was a present. Not getting phone calls from either of my parents was kind of a bummer. And not being able to spend my birthday with my kids really killed me. I really missed not waking up to shinny little face smiling and yelling, "Happy birthday Mommy!"

I guess the real problem is I'm spoiled. I have a man who treats me special EVERY SINGLE DINGLE day. So, to make my birthday stand out he would REALLY have to pull out all the stops. And truthfully, if I had to choose between someone who is kind, loving and patient 365 days a year, or someone who knew how to throw a mean party 1 day a year. I choose the first.

So, enough of my pitty party. I'll get over it. I aways do. The good news is I'm finally the age I've been telling people I am for about 9 months. For some reason last year I got it in my head I was already 36 and kept saying that I was. I guess one advantage to that I don't go through number shock on my birthday. The bad part is I keep having to remind myself I didn't just turn 37. Yes, my brain is wierd.

Anyway - on to fitness! After all I think that's what the focus of this board is supposed to be ;) I ran last night and bumped each interval up .1 It wasn't that hard to do so I think I'll do the same on Thursday when I run again. I haven't done legs yet today - but it's in the plan. This workout will be the trickiest becuase I'm very capable of pushing too hard and leaving myself unable to walk for a week. I suppose I should go get some breakfast now! and get up and around. I think I'm going to declare a mulligan and say that TODAY's my birthday and do everything I wanted to do yesterday (like take the day off from work)

Have a great one everyone!

Really busy at work today - almost overwhelming, but I wanted to take a moment and check it.



Yesterday went as planned. I stayed on plan until dinner, ate a 'free' dinner (It was yummy) and then back on plan for the rest of the evening. So - a GREEN day! whoop.



This morning was going to be a 'free meal' for breakfast, but the food was so crappy that I skipped it and had 'planned' food later. Why waste a free meal on crappy food? I'll save those calories for something good!



I was away from home, so I didn't get my run in this morning, but I'm planning on hitting the old 'tread' when I get home tonight. I'll do some stretching and pilates after. So it's all pretty much set!



Lack of sleep and stress at work has my enthusiasm dulled a bit. But I'm not having the urge to eat anything unautherized. I don't even have a list of 'cheat' foods created because I haven't been craving anything. If this keeps up it will be clear sailing.

It's only 9:00am, and I've already accplished so much! I'm high on my own success at the moment! The day started right when I leavered my arse out of bed at 5:00AM (a miracle for me) and started weight training. The workout was great! It felt so great to be pumping iron again.



Swiss Ball Press



20 x 12

25 x 10

30 x 8

35 x 6

30 x 12



Flye



12 x 12



Standing Upright Rows



10 x 12

15 x 10

20 x 8

25 x 6

20 x 12



Shoulder Press



12 x 12



Bent Barbell Row



30 x 12

35 x 10

40 x 8

45 x 6

40 x 12



Bent Flye



12 x 12



I skipped tris and bis mainly because they were already feeling fried by the other work I had done. I figured it made no sense to push it too far on my first day back. I expect to see those numbers to go up in the near future, but I really please with how I felt during, and AFTER my workout, for now. I know I've had a perfect workout, when I'm tired at the end of it, but within 2 hours I get this RUSH that makes me want to go in and do it again (Not that I could)



After that, I made a shake, showered and basically puttered around and did all those things that I never seem to have time for in the morning: Check mail, gather all things together so I don't forget anything, things like that. My lunches and second breakfast were already packed so I was ready to go, and was into work, well before my 'normal' time of 9:00AM.



The 'I did it' feeling has me aglow! I can't tell you how much the 'visualization' I've been working on has helped me. I've found a new use for my always active imagination! Last night, before I went to bed I laid there and 'visualized' how I wanted my morning to go. I imagined the alarm going off, and me waking up clear headed and alert, turning it off and getting out of bed immediatly. I went through the steps of getting dressed and heading to the other room to workout. Did it happen exactly as I imagined? No - but there is no doubt in my mind that mentally preparing myself did MUCH to get my butt out of bed this morning.



I use the same technique for other things. In my head I try to put myself into tempting situations and imagine the BEST possible outcome. Things like, walking past the pile of goodies they still have sitting here at work. Or ording chicken and salad and passing up the fries. That way, I've already come up with all the good/positive excuses why not to, and I've practiced saying them in my head, LONG before the tempation is staring me in a face. It's certainly something I'm going to keep on doing.



The plan for the rest of the day is pretty simple. As I said before, my lunches are packed. Dinner is a planned 'free meal' and my workout is done. I forsee today becoming another green mark on my calendar.

I purchased the PC version of FitDay in order to try it out. I have to say - I LOVE IT! Everything I liked about the online verson and more.

OH - and the weight dropped today AND I'm starting to feel that nice tight feeling in my tummy that comes when I'm eating right - I have no doubt I've lost a few inches of swelling already. Look out folks! I'm on a ROLL.

I didn't have the 'perfect day' today. Ran out of the house without breakfast and stayed out all day, forcing me to play it by ear, instead of using my meal plan. BUT I did ok. Stuck to good whole foods and avoided the french fries at Carls Jr. For those of you who don't know - Carls offers a whole grilled plane chicken breast (though it's not on the menu) and most also have a salad bar. A diet saver if ever there was one.



Food for tomorrow is all planned out, and I'll go make my lunches as soon as I get up from here. Tomorrow night is the first of two 'free meals' for the week. No plan in place and we're going out - we're also going to stay overnight in a hotel for a little treat, breakfast is my second and LAST free meal of the week.

I have a question for all of you. There are several of us at work that have started working out and/or dieting recently (two guys who started the first of this month and two girls who started with the begining of the year) I've been trying to figure out some sort of 'challenge' that we could do between us all. The problem is I don't want to do anything based on weight loss (too many varied goals) and I'm certainly not going to parade around in a bikini so that we could do a visual transformation check. Does anyone have any ideas? Because I would love to be motivated by and be able to motivate others on their journey - and there is something about a compition with people I see every day that's incredably motivating. (The Body Blog challenge a few years ago was a huge motivation for me).

So, ideas anyone?

After spending the day feeling pretty strong and very pleased with myself, I finally broke down and took my starting pictures. To say I was stunned, is an understatment. All those months of telling myself, 'It's not that bad." jumped up and slapped me in the face. It's BAD! After looking through the shots I had to go in and give my fiance' a big hug and kiss for managing to look at me every day, and still want me. Sheesh!



My first thought was to go lock myself in a dark room and curl up in a little ball. BUT, I'm trying my best to keep a postive look out. After all, it's bad now, but this is the last time I will look like this. Tomorrow it will be better, and then next day it will be better, and those days will build into weeks and before long I'll have pictures I'll be able to glance at without wanting to throw myself off of a high place. And by the end of the year, I'll have pictures that I'll want to make into t-shirts and wear to the mall because I'll be so proud to say 'That's Me!' And think of the dramatic transformation this will make when I'm finished! Heh - at least that's what I've been tellling myself. The good news is I didn't go run for a doughnut or something else to sooth my pain. I'm emotionally mature enough now to know that food doesn't solve my problems.



As for the rest of my day... It's been great. I've eaten clean and on plan all day (albeit late) and I ran for 20 minutes, did some streching for 10 minutes and did 10 minutes of pilates. I'm feeling physically better after only 1 day and that's encouraging in and of itself.



I also weighed and did my measurements. ICK!



Weight 208.5



Masurments:



Neck: 14

Chest: 39.5

Bust: 46.5

Ribs: 37.5

Hips: 49.25

Butt: 49

Thigh: 27.5

Calf: 15.5

Upper Arm: 15.5

Bicep: 13

Forarm 10.75

Wrist: 6.13

Ankle: 8.75



None of this changes my goals - Although the next 12 weeks are going to mean making up lost ground I'm not going to let that get me down. It has to be done and ti won't be any easier for me whining about it. The only thing I can do is make sure I've learned my lesson and not let myself be in this position again.



Food is planned for tomorrow:



1. Cheese Crusted Potatoes

2. Power Muffins

3. Turkey Sandwich

4. chicken in white wine

5. Protein pudding

6: Banana Yogurt



Workout is planned as well:



Uh - it's a free day so I plan to walk around the mall - I'm going to wear a pedometer and see how many steps I can do. (some days - having short legs is an advantage)



Shopping is done, meals are planned.



It's going to be a GREAT week.

My program and the new year, starts today, and I couldn't be more excited! I've got everything I need in place, a plan, goals, and a support system.



My menues and workouts are all planned. I need to do a bit of shopping, but nothing that can't wait until Sunday. That's one of the things I like about my plan right now.



My goals for today are pretty simple. Eat according to my plan, and excercise.



Food Plan:



1. Breakfast Wrap

2. Breakfast Loaf (like a homemade protien bar)

3. Chicken Quesadilla

4. (After my run) Banana/Yogurt Protein Shake

5. Steak and potatoes

6. Bread Pudding



My Planned Workout is:



20 minute HIIT Run

10 minutes of streching

10 minutes of pilates



Pretty simple plan right now. I want to get a feel for what shape I'm in before I start setting more physical goals. It would be silly to set a goal that would be too easily reached.



Other then that I want to get my pictures, weight and measuring done.



Personally, I need to get all my begining balances entered into my Money program and in Quicken. Now that we're completely reliant on our own business for Nige's income we need to be a little more careful with our paperwork.



I think that's all for now. I'll add more stuff as I think about about it.



Happy New Year