Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I had the strangest thing happen to me today!

While visiting one of the other offices, twice I ran into girls who, when seeing them before, I had though "I wish I had a body like that!" This time, though I found myself thinking, "I could have a better body then that!" After the second time it happened I stopped myself, amazed. Never in my life have I ever thought of myself in such positive terms! I'm alowing myself to believe in.. ME! and it's the GREATEST feeling. I'm finally being honest with myself, honoring my promices, and you know what, the respect is now showing! Then, to add on top of that one of the ladies at work said to me "You've lost weight!"... Then (and this really cracked me up) the girl that never gives compliments unless she wants something started to say something nice to me... Then stopped because she realized she didn't need anything at that time. It cracked me up that she started to let a compliment slip, almost as if she MEANT it.. lol!

Needless to say I'm feeling good about my progress, both inside and outside. I can't wait to see what happens next!

One thing I'm NOT pleased with... I'm sure I've mentioned before that I have a 'mild' heart issue. I've managed to do a pretty good job of managing it on my own, especially since I quit taking ephedra (sp?). But I noticed that I started getting palpitations last night while working out, and they've continued through today. This FRUSTRATES me to no end! They arn't dangerous (so my dr says) but they are uncomfortable (imagine hiccups) and leave me feeling week. And as far as I know, I've done nothing that should have brought this on. The only thing that I can come up with is that I'm tired. I've been going to bed early enough but have noticed that I'm having trouble falling into a DEEP sleep and spend most of the night just below the surface of sleep and having some BIZZARE and vivid dreams! (Last night I drempt that I was bit by a snake and when he pulled away he left his fang behind, still pumping venom into my leg - like a bee stinger - analize THAT one would ya? I think the snake is my ex :P) Anyway, all that to say I need to work on sleeping better, see if that clears up the issue, and if not it's back to NO caffine.. and if that doesn't work *sigh* I guess I go on the beta blockers. QUESTION - the beta blockers are supposed to lower my blood pressure and help me relax (ummm.. why lower my blood preasure when it's already normal to low is beyond me) My worry has always been that they might also lower my metabolism... does anyone know if there could be any facts behind this??

So enough of my whining! :)

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