Wednesday, October 8, 2003

I just finished my lower body workout. Boy was it a screemer! *Note to self - don't do sprints before a lower body workout*

I've been making a point to work through my frustrations of this morning. I was so temped to belay my fears of no progress by jumping on my scale this morning, but I kept hearing Marie's words in my head "I want you to learn to trust your hard work". That's the rub. You see, I DON'T trust my hard work. At least not yet!

I keep telling myself, "Look at how far you've come!". And then my evil alter ego (Perhaps relaited to compost man?) says "Yes, but look how far you have to go!" And yet I HAVE come far, in more then just weight. I scrolled through the blogs I posted my first week...

"Monday, July 28, 2003, 12:53 PM- I weighed in at 202.5 today. I can't stand the thought that I'm over 200 once again. I swore this wouldn't happen more then once. why do I constantly let meyself down? Why is it so hard for me to say "no". I need to figure out this mentality of mine. "

"Monday, July 28, 2003, 9:13 PM- Well, it looks like I made it through the day. I ate 6 small meals and stayed on plan. I wish I felt better about it, but at the moment I just feel hungry. I'm pretty sure I need to drink more water. Perhaps that's where my hunger is coming from. But, I did make it through the day. "

"Tuesday, July 29, 2003, 10:19 AM - It's morning - I made it through 1 entire day. 1 down 83 to go. I'm hoping that eventually I get a burst of energy, and some motivation and start to feel some HOPE. At the moment I just feel so let down. Everything I've tried has failed... I just don't want this to fail too."

I've come a long long way from "Just getting through the day"!

The results will come, they have to.. I'm not a girl who will take no for an answer!

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